Category: Custody

A Judge Has Ruled That Ciara And Future Have To Split Custody Of Their Son

May 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Usually the warm feeling around my heart is the result of eating too many Doritos before noon, but today it was caused by the cuteness that is a picture of a baby leaving an airplane while holding an airplane.

Despite the fact that Future Zahir is only two days away from turning 2, it feels like Ciara and her ex-fiance Future have been dragging him into their drama since the beginning of time. Or at least shortly after the beginning of his time. Three months after Ciara and Future became parents, they split up, then got back together a month later, then split up again. Then Ciara started seeing Russell Wilson and letting him hang out with Baby Future, which pissed Future off enough to publicly slap at Ciara’s parenting skills and accuse her of denying him daddy time. That pissed Ciara off and she slapped him with a $15 million defamation lawsuit. Future responded by counter-suing. Which brings us to yesterday.

According to TMZ, Ciara 1-2 stepped into a courtroom yesterday and asked a judge for sole custody of Baby Future, and I’m pretty sure you can guess the reason why. If you said “Because Ciara accused him of being a crappy dad?“, congratulations, you’ve won a glamorous prize (the plastic bowtie from a Jewel Secrets Ken doll). Future was also in the courtroom yesterday, and his contribution to the conversation was to ask for joint custody. The judge agreed, and decided that Ciara and Future will share joint custody.

Neither Ciara nor Future have said anything about their new custody arrangement, but I’m going to go out on a limb and assume Ciara probably isn’t very happy about it. But she needs to look on the bright side: Baby Future spending more time at daddy’s house means more time to practice walking slowly down the aisle at her wedding. Look, if I was about to marry a dude who asked me to wait until our wedding night for sex, I’d need to get in as much practice as possible not to sprint full-speed down the aisle.

Pic: Splash

Madonna May Have Accepted Defeat In Custody Battle Against Guy Ritchie

March 6, 2016 / Posted by:

Last night in the Open Post, I commended Madonna for being relatively tame, for her, with that almost-teary huff huff she pulled at her concert in Auckland, New Zealand when she dedicated “La Vie en Rose” to her son Rocco Ritchie. Last December, 15-year-old Rocco packed his shit up, put on his headphones to listen to Nicole Scherzinger‘s masterpiece “Don’t Hold Your Breath” and moved his ass in with his dad, Guy Ritchie, in December. I thought Madonna was trying to be more low-key with her attention seeking, but she played me. The Daily Mail is reporting she has allegedly accepted defeat on getting Rocco back. This revelation, of course, happened to be “leaked” on English Mother’s Day. Well, played Madonna.

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