Category: Creeps

Woody Allen Has Javier Bardem’s Support

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Woody Allen’s next movie is probably going to have to star Diane Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, and maybe Kate Winslet if he’s lucky (depending on the current state of her “bitter regrets”). Poor Woody, that’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel! Luckily, he can add Javier Bardem to the list of actors who will still fuck with him, so that’s at least one more second-rate unknown bit player Woody can count on.

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Luann de Lesseps Claims Russell Simmons Groped Her In An Elevator

April 9, 2018 / Posted by:

The Ex-Countess and possible future ex-con Luann De Lesseps is spending whatever free time she has left giving interviews and relating tales from her super chic life. Here are two free pieces of advice I gleaned from Luann in a recent interview with The Daily Beast: Dusty pink jeans are perfect for spring and don’t get into an elevator with Russell Simmons.

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Elon Musk’s Super Creepy Dad Had A Baby With His Stepdaughter

March 26, 2018 / Posted by:

If Elon Musk sometimes comes off as a little creepy and intense, he’s actually as easy-breezy as Tom Hanks compared to his pops Errol Musk who Page Six reports had a baby with his stepdaughter, Jana Bezuidenhout. Errol married Jana’s mom when Jana was 4 years old and they now have a 10 month old baby named Elliott. Errol is 72, Jana is 30. As Errol was awarded his bronze medal in the Creep Olympics (Fucked Up Family Tree division) he called baby Elliot an “exquisite child” and said it was “God’s Plan”. Neither God or Drake approve of this message.

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Vincent Gallo Is Still Alive And Has Penned A Long Winded Essay About Roger Ebert, Etc.

March 23, 2018 / Posted by:

Because 2018 clearly doesn’t have enough assholes of its own, 2004 has kindly offered to let us take one of its biggest off its hands for free. You guys remember Vincent Gallo, right? Greasy looking fellow who said Roger Ebert had “the physique of a slave-trader” and put a hex on his colon saying he hoped he got cancer for panning The Brown Bunny? No? He’s the guy that auctioned himself off as a male escort saying “Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill” but said “no way Jose” to gay men or transgender women but “lesbos” were ok? Yeah, that guy. He’s back to talk about Harvey Weinstein, piss on Roger Ebert’s grave and compare himself to Donald Trump in an essay posted to AnOther Man.

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