CNN and everybody else, including their mothers, are reporting that 80-year-old Bill Cosby has actually been found guilty on three counts of assault against Andrea Constand. He was being retried after a mistrial was declared last June. Hell hath frozen over.
Woody Allen’s next movie is probably going to have to star Diane Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Cate Blanchett, and maybe Kate Winslet if he’s lucky (depending on the current state of her “bitter regrets”). Poor Woody, that’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel! Luckily, he can add Javier Bardem to the list of actors who will still fuck with him, so that’s at least one more second-rate unknown bit player Woody can count on.
The Ex-Countess and possible future ex-con Luann De Lesseps is spending whatever free time she has left giving interviews and relating tales from her super chic life. Here are two free pieces of advice I gleaned from Luann in a recent interview with The Daily Beast: Dusty pink jeans are perfect for spring and don’t get into an elevator with Russell Simmons.
…and, no, it wasn’t Jaime King. There’s always one asshole (or in this case, an enemy) who has to take things WAY too far and ruin it for the rest of us who just like to make wise-ass comments from the sidelines. Taylor Swift’s long-time deranged stalker managed to avoid jail time despite sounding like a maniac. Continue reading
If Elon Musk sometimes comes off as a little creepy and intense, he’s actually as easy-breezy as Tom Hanks compared to his pops Errol Musk who Page Six reports had a baby with his stepdaughter, Jana Bezuidenhout. Errol married Jana’s mom when Jana was 4 years old and they now have a 10 month old baby named Elliott. Errol is 72, Jana is 30. As Errol was awarded his bronze medal in the Creep Olympics (Fucked Up Family Tree division) he called baby Elliot an “exquisite child” and said it was “God’s Plan”. Neither God or Drake approve of this message.
Because 2018 clearly doesn’t have enough assholes of its own, 2004 has kindly offered to let us take one of its biggest off its hands for free. You guys remember Vincent Gallo, right? Greasy looking fellow who said Roger Ebert had “the physique of a slave-trader” and put a hex on his colon saying he hoped he got cancer for panning The Brown Bunny? No? He’s the guy that auctioned himself off as a male escort saying “Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill” but said “no way Jose” to gay men or transgender women but “lesbos” were ok? Yeah, that guy. He’s back to talk about Harvey Weinstein, piss on Roger Ebert’s grave and compare himself to Donald Trump in an essay posted to AnOther Man.