Last year, Courteney Cox was on piss queen Bear Grylls’ show Running Wild, and admitted that she regrets turning her face into a rubber cat mask by wet fucking it with syringes full of fillers. Courteney is in New Beauty magazine to talk about her beauty and she talked more about the journey her face took from all-natural to stage 6 Jocelyn Wildenstein. Courteney says she feels a lot better now because her fillers have gone away and now she looks much more like Courtney Cox.
Ever since Friends ended in 2004, fans of Friends fans (Frans?) have been waiting for a reunion, because they really want to see more of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, the “Could I BE anymore…” guy and the one who always wants to know how you’re doing. Some of the cast has sort of gotten together a couple times, but never for an official reunion thing. Courteney Cox explained back in 2015 that even if they wanted to do a reunion, there was always one person (*cough* Schwimmer *cough*) who wasn’t into it. There’s another friend who isn’t feeling a reunion, and it’s Lisa Kudrow.
Just like how Bloody Mary is supposed to appear in the mirror if you say her name three times or a lawyer shows up to your house if you piss off Taylor Swift, Jennifer Aniston’s name is likely to get dragged up when someone types the words “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting a divorce.” Even though Jennifer Aniston hasn’t really had much to do with Brad Pitt since getting him to sign divorce papers eleven years ago, some people still want to know what she thinks about the news that her cheater ex-husband and the tomb wrecker are splitting up. Jenny hasn’t said anything publicly, but some of her nearest and dearest have. Much like Justin Theroux, Courteney Cox thinks you should be leaving Jennifer Aniston’s name out of it.
Courteney Cox is not a hot white dude celebrity who can help boost ratings by getting his nipples out to do homoerotic action with Bear Grylls, so I’m not sure why she was on Running Wild, but she was. I didn’t see Courteney’s episode, which aired on Monday, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say that she and Bear did the usual like give themselves a deer piss enema and spend the night inside of the carcass of a dead elk. And in between that, Bear transformed into a regular Diane Sawyer and the two got deep.
If the annual parade of constantly-fucking birds outside my bedroom window have taught me anything, it’s that animals get super horny in the spring. So I shouldn’t exactly be surprised that after being apart all winter, Courteney Cox confirmed that her coochie was officially off the market by strutting along the red carpet of the BMI Pop Awards last night with her former ex-fiance Johnny McDaid.
Monica Geller’s rep hinted back in March that 51-year-old Courteney and her 39-year-old Old Navy mannequin-looking Irish musician piece were giving their relationship a second chance after they called it quits on their engagement six months ago. And as you can see above, yeah, they’re together again. In case it wasn’t clear enough from Courteney and Johnny’s faces, which totally say: “Why yes, we did get to second base in the limo on the way over!“, they also confirmed they were officially back together to UsWeekly with the following exchange:
Courteney Cox: “Well, we love each other and we are – yes, we’re happy!”
Johnny McDaid: “I don’t know if you can put a label on what makes us work so well. But I know that I’ve never loved like I love this woman. So if that’s enough, then that’s enough.”
Courteney Cox: “How do I go after that? It’s poetic. I’m literally going to sound like a toad!“
A source from last night’s BMI Pop Awards also chimed in and told UsWeekly that Courteney and Johnny were “in their own little world“, and that they “stared lovingly into each other’s eyes” and exchanged “goofy little grins” all evening. Goofy little grins? Gross, who are you, Ross and Rachel?
Courteney and Johnny didn’t tell UsWeekly whether or not she has pulled her engagement ring out of whatever desk drawer she threw it in back in November. Maybe they’re taking things slow. Although I’m sure it doesn’t matter to Jennifer Aniston, who has no doubt already yanked her old Maid of Honor sash from Courteney’s first wedding out of storage and started getting to work on planning a booze-filled bachelorette party in Mexico.
Here’s more of Courteney and Johnny at the BMI Pop Awards last night looking like they just came from a city hall wedding.
When it was rumored that the entire cast of Friends was going to reunite, people who watched all of that shit religiously had the same reaction I would have if an It’s A Living reunion was announced. They squirted out a foamy stream of excitement. But it turns out it wasn’t really a reunion. They just sat at the same table and said words together at NBC’s tribute to James Burrows which taped in L.A. last night. Johnny Galecki, who dressed up like a snobby French gallery owner, posted a picture on Instagram of the cast of Friends with the cast of The Big Bang Theory. Matthew Perry isn’t in the picture because even he doesn’t want to be seen with Kaley Cuoco. No, Chandler’s in London doing some play, so he couldn’t make it.
Never mind that Courteney Cox’s transformation into the plastic baby of Pete Burns and Michael Jackson is almost complete, I don’t think I ever really noticed how much of a hot silver top daddy Matt LeBlanc is now. And seeing him behind Jim Parsons and David Schwimmer is giving me Joey/Ross/Sheldon gay spit roast fantasies.