The Blast reports that Corey Feldman was recently busted for speeding in a hotboxed RV filled with Angels. Apparently Corey’s STILL tearing up the highways and byways of America with his Angelic 2 the Core Tour, which has been on the road since June and is booked through November. Dude’s got stamina, I’ll give him that.
In case you somehow missed it, Corey Feldman’s Corey Feldman & The Angels: Angelic 2 The U.S. Summer Tour 2017 is still in full swing. With Metallica, U2 and Paul McCartney stealing the limelight this summer, it’s understandable that Corey’s “heavanly” tour might have slipped under the radar. Corey and his band have been working hard since June with his off-brand Charlie Sheen cum Bob the Magician cum Michael Jackson impersonator situation.
Last night, sometimes-actor/singer Corey Feldman made good on his previous threat to marry his 27-year-old girlfriend and band-mate, Courtney Anne. Courtney is Canadian and Corey believes that in Trump’s America, his now-wife would stand to be deported. But instead of running to the courthouse, they hauled ass to Las Vegas for a quickie Vegas wedding with a dress, vows, vegan wedding cake, and an ice luge (I assume).
Corey Feldman Doesn’t Want Donald Trump To Deport His Canadian Girlfriend So He’s Going To Marry Her
Even before the diarrhea-dipped clump of dick cheese won the presidency, several American celebrities prepared to slide the word “eh” into their daily vocabulary, because they vowed to run their asses off to Canada if he beat Hillary Clinton. But Corey Feldman is on the opposite side of that. Corey wants to stay in the country and he wants his Canadian piece/main angel to stay too. Corey is afraid that while rounding up Mexican immigrants, La Migra is going to pick up his girlfriend and slingshot her back to the land of authentic Swiss cuisine and Sandra Rinomato. So he put a ring on it.
During Corey Feldman’s triumphant comeback performance on Today yesterday, many were so mesmerized and hypnotized by his artistry and graceful moves that they didn’t even notice that he committed an unforgivable attack on this country by dropping the American flag. I noticed, and figured it was either nothing or Corey was declaring his allegiance to Russia. But some who did notice, immediately went into OUTRAGE mode and tweeted that he needed to apologize for being so damn disrespectful or take his commie ass out of this country!
Everything I know about reincarnation I learned from the accurate documentary Little Buddha, and in it, they say that reincarnation is when a spirit is reborn in a new body. I am now questioning the accuracy of that documentary, because they didn’t mention anything about how reincarnation can happen to somebody who is already alive. Because it can. That fact became crystal meth clear to me this morning while watching Corey Feldman’s triumphant return to Today. It’s obvious that Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Prince and Tupac have been reborn inside of Corey Feldman!