Every good villain needs an animal sidekick for them to slowly pet as their mind fills with diabolical plans of destruction, like destroying JLo’s reputation as the biggest ice cold diva terror on any set, and destroying any tiny shreds of respect that the cast and crew of your show had for you. And Constance Wu has an animal sidekick in her pet bunny named Lida Rose! Don’t let that cutesy furry face fool you, Lida Rose (that’s a really hot and perfect name for a villain sidekick, honestly) is more than happy to carry out her malevolent mistresses’ wicked plans, and Lida Rose has a not-so-secret weapon: her butthole. Lida Rose’s ass is more destructive than that of a newbie bottom while getting butt boned right after eating Taco Bell and not douching.
Why do I get the feeling the cast and crew of Fresh Off The Boat just started an open text chain with the cast and crew of Hustlers, and that text chain is about to be filled with the eye-rolling emoji and the words “Oh, I KNOW.” If this story from Page Six is correct, then my guess about everyone shit-talking over text might be too.
Prayers up for Constance Wu. Against her wishes, the Huang children of Fresh Off The Boat will NOT find themselves weeping and motherless at the start of season 6. According to Indiewire, poor Constance still has a job as a lead on a network sitcom that will be eligible for syndication after about three more episodes. That buddy cop movie co-starring Katherine Heigl will just have to wait until FOTB is on hiatus. It’s not fair, and it fucking sucks. What’s a girl gotta do to get fired these days?
She can blame ABC President Karey Burke, who announced that Constance’s Twitter tantrum didn’t affect their decision to keep her on for the upcoming season.
“There’s been no thought to recasting Constance. We love what she does on the show. I did actually know that Constance had another opportunity had ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ not gone forward she would have pursued. But we never really considered not bring back ‘Fresh off the Boat.’ It was just too strong. I’m going to choose to believe Constance’s most recent communication about the show that she’s happy to return and the cast and crew is happy to have her back,” Burke said.
Karey, you got it twisted, girl! Constance said LOUD AND CLEAR: “it’s meaningful to make the choice to believe women”. You can’t simply choose to believe whatever makes you feel better. Constance said what she said, and she meant what she said. FOTB touched her inappropriately, and she doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Believe THAT!
Constance Wu woke up Saturday morning, noticed the internet calling her the most ungrateful diva TV actress since Katherine Heigl and sprang into action. Initially, she denied that her emotional breakdown on Friday on Twitter was over her show Fresh Off The Boat being renewed. Then she said she had a bad day. Now she’s admitting it was totally about the show getting renewed.
Constance Wu Didn’t Seem Happy With “Fresh Off The Boat” Getting Renewed, But She Says Her Tweets Were Badly Timed
Unless starring on her long-running, progressive sitcom for primetime TV pay is a contractually bound hell-pit of sexual harassment, working in studios without proper HVAC, and shitty craft service for Constance Wu, she sounded ungrateful and not happy about ABC renewing her show Fresh Off The Boat for a sixth season. This is the reaction you save for when you’re Kanye West and you learn Keeping Up With The Kardashians has been renewed for its 666th season.
You may have read that headline and looked at that picture and thought, “I don’t see her holding a copy of Artpop.”
The National Board of Review ceremony happened in NYC last night, and the winners were announced in November, so Lady Gaga already knew she won Best Actress. She didn’t have to worry about straining her Botoxed face muscles while trying to look happy as either Glenn Close or Olivia Colman took the win. A Star Is Born also won one National Board of Review awards for Bradley Cooper (Best Director), and one for Sam Elliott (Best Supporting Actor). Regina King was also there last night to accept the Best Supporting Actress award, and the cast of Crazy Rich Asians showed up to collect their trophy for Best Ensemble.