One second after that picture was taken, there were no lemons on that tree and the basket was filled with nothing but lemon bits and juice because they all busted from being so close to the goth sexiness of Cher!
The London premiere of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Making An Unneeded Sequel For A Check went down today, and while one of the movie’s main stars, Lily James, wore a damn ball gown (somebody tell her she ain’t Cinderella for real), the REAL star of the movie, Cher, didn’t even try, because she doesn’t need to. She’s Cher, bitch! (copyright: Chad Michaels) While looking like Kat Von D’s dream wedding officiant, Cher proved to the young hos that she doesn’t need to put on some brand new couture gown to kill bitches. Cher pulled one of her old Witches of Eastwick costumes out of storage, dusted it off a bit and threw it on her body as her hair people took the Hot Sticks out of her mane. And even while working an old rag, Cher still outshined them all.
I mean, even Meryl Streep knew that there’s no point in even trying when Cher’s going to be there, which is why she dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher. But then again even if Cher wasn’t there, Meryl would still have dressed like a late-80s New England high school substitute drama teacher.
During a hiatus in their marriage in 2015 and 2016, Colin Firth’s wife of 21 years Livia Giuggioli hooked up with a childhood friend named Marco Brancaccia. According to Livia’s side of things, Marco was a casual thing to pass some time before returning to her husband, and that Marco got stalker-y and obsessive. But Marco’s side of the story was that Livia was talking about trading in scones for cannoli, aka she was going to leave Colin for Marco. Obviously that didn’t happen. The only thing Marco ended up with was a stalking charge.
The Times UK says that Marco was charged with stalking in Italy. In March, Marco denied stalking Livia and Colin, but clearly the legal system saw otherwise. At a pre-trial hearing on Wednesday in Rome, prosecutor Maria Monteleone said they asked for a trial because they believed they had enough evidence of stalker-y behavior. Colin and Livia claimed that Marco had been harassing them for several months, with Livia saying Marco’s actions had her living in fear. Italian investigators seized Marco’s phone and computer, and reportedly found evidence of “abusive messages and emails” on both.
Marco Brancaccia faces up to five years in jail if convicted. Another hearing has been scheduled for July.
I’m glad for Colin that this is getting handled by the court. Because I just don’t know if I see him as a cold-blooded Liam Neeson in Taken-style vengeance-seeker. Or who knows? Maybe I’m way off the mark and Colin has much more in common with some of the characters he plays after all. In which case, I’ll be waiting with anticipation to read about this court trial getting temporarily suspended while they fix the glass Colin broke while throwing Marco through a window.
Last week we learned that Colin Firth and his wife of 21 years, Livia Giuggioli, were in stuck in the middle of some extramarital boyfriend drama of the highest degree. During a 2015/2016 hiatus in their marriage, Livia hooked up with an old childhood friend named Marco Brancaccia, who allegedly turned stalker once she decided to go back to Colin. It was the kind of affair that could turn a break into an official split, but not for Colin and Livia.
According to People, this story should be accompanied by some Ashford & Simpson, because they’re solid as a rock. A source says that Colin and Livia worked through the affair and subsequent stalker drama, and their marriage is all good.
“These two have a solid commitment, are on the same level, and worked through it. They got back together, and things are fine. They have a good marriage. It’s not uncommon for a marriage to go through periods where it seems stale, especially with children involved,” adds the source.
Colin and Livia have two sons together. As for their marriage getting stale, I’m sure everyone who would have chosen Mark Darcy over Daniel Cleaver just screamed “HOW EVEN THOUGH??“. Another source echoed the first by stressing that they have a “committed relationship.” Well obviously – if Colin didn’t immediately call it quits after opening WhatsApp and discovering sex pics from his wife’s side piece, I’d say he’s in it like a pair of cement shoes. Speaking of, you know that was probably something that was mentioned when they were working things out. “Don’t want to be a bother, but if we take another break, can I ask that you don’t pick someone who will message me after? Thanks in advance, love.”
Colin Firth’s Wife Admits To Having Had An Affair And Claims She’s Now Being Stalked By Her Ex-Side Piece
You know somebody’s been keeping it tight when a Dlisted search of their name mostly comes up with Birthday Sluts results. Sadly for Colin Firth, his days of notoriety based solely on sharing a birthday with Ryan Phillipe and wearing the shit out of a Tom Ford suit are numbered. According to The Times, he’s now part of an international scandal involving his wife of 21 years and her Italian Lothario ex-side piece whom the couple allege has been stalking her.
There was a time when Woody Allen would call up an actor or actress with a film role offer, and the response he’d receive might be, “Yes of course I’m available!“. But lately it seems like more and more of the voices on the other end of those phone calls are going to answer, “Uh…wrong number.” Colin Firth starred in 2014’s Magic in the Moonlight. Woody can go ahead and lose Colin’s number, because he has no interest in working with Woody again.
That haircut may be questionable, but it’s still no question that I would.
While Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s hair screamed army hipster dude and his beefed-up Ball Park frank body was squeezed into a tux, he posed with wife Sam Taylor-Johnson at the Venice Film Festival premiere of Nocturnal Animals today. Nocturnal Animals is Tom Ford’s second movie as a director and besides ATJ, it also stars Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal, Isla Fisher, Michael Shannon, Laura Linney, Michael Sheen and Armie Hammer. I skimmed through a few reviews from Venice and most of them were good and a few of them said that this is the MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Others said that Amy Adams’ performance may have earned her a place next to Leonardo DiCatchAHo and Julianne Moore in the It Took Fucking Long Enough But I Finally Got My Oscar club.
While reading the reviews, I noticed that Nocturnal Animals got an R-rating for “graphic nudity,” among other things. The “graphic nudity” may go down in this scene (via The Hollywood Reporter):
An eye-opening sequence that plays under the opening titles features a hefty middle-aged burlesque dancer in drum-majorette accessories but otherwise naked, dancing in front of a red curtain.
If that’s the only scene in the movie that has “graphic nudity” in it, then Tom Ford needs to retire from directing movies forever! I mean, if your movie has “graphic nudity,” as well as Jake Gyllenhaal and Aaron Taylor-Johnson in it, and none of the “graphic nudity” is done by either them, then you cannot be considered a serious auteur. I’m sure that’s one of the laws of cinema.
Pics: Getty, Wenn.com