After nearly two years of dating, Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost have decided to get married. Congratulations! People reports that ScarJo’s publicist confirmed the news to the Associated Press on Sunday. I’m not surprised that Colin didn’t break the news himself during Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update segment. One host already declared his intention to spend forever with a stunning charismatic star, and that was Seth Meyers and Stefon back in 2013. And there’s really no point in trying to top what can never be topped.
God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost have yet another set of precious memories to paste in their Celebrity Relationship Milestones book that your agent gives you when you hook up with another famous person.
Last night’s next step took place at the Emmys, where Colin co-hosted with his SNL Weekend Update partner Michael Che. Scarlett and Colin made their first official red carpet debut back in April at the Avengers: Infinity War premiere, then went a little fancier a month later at the Met Gala. Last night was their official awards show couples walk on the…what color would we call the Emmy’s carpet last night? Rice Krispy Treat beige? Sure.
Scarlett wore a Balmain dress, while Colin continued to look like that one groomsman at his high school buddy’s wedding who can’t wait to run to his car and trade in his dress shoes for sneakers. But all that really matters here is ScarJo’s dress, which looks what a housekeeper at a resort would do if asked to fold bath towels into a gown instead of a swan.
Once inside, it wasn’t about Scarlett anymore. Here’s Colin and Michael’s monologue, in which they began with a shout out to the #MeToo movement.
Then they went on to talk about TV’s diversity problem. That’s when I’m sure Scarlett considered standing up and volunteering her services as a recently-woke diversity expert. “Pro tip, television: In the event you do create more diverse characters, try not to hire people that look like me to play them.”
ColiScar isn’t a great celebrity couple name (are any of them, really?), but I’m going with it, because when you look at it real quick, it reads as “CuloScar.”
It’s been a little under a year since Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live became the object of jealousy for a million nerd boners by wet humping on Black Widow. Since then, there’s been riveting sighting after riveting sighting of Colin and Scarlett Johansson sucking face. I guess things are serious enough for them to agree to forever be bonded in movie premiere pics, because ScarJo brought ColiJo (I refuse to call him CoJo since there is only one that matters to me) as her date to the premiere of Nerd Movie: Will Make Infinity Money in L.A. last night.
As the relationship of one blonde A-list Hollywood actress and her brown-haired boyfriend bites the dust, another continues to thrive. Is this the circle of life they were talking about in The Lion King? I think it might be.
Scarlett Johansson was in my city?!?! WHY DID I GO TO P-TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND?!?! I can see drunken bears inappropriately costumed as handmaidens from Gilead any old October! People reports that ScarJo was sighted at boyfriend Colin Jost’s comedy gig in Boston Saturday night.
Does this mean she’s case dismissed the lawyer? Ugh, I should be shunned for that one. Scarlett and Colin have been an item since May, and he recently went all in on his gushy love for her when asked at the Emmys. They were spotted leaving the Wilbur Theater after his show. They were holding hands and everything!