Category: Coachella

Beyonce Raked in $60 Million For Her Netflix Deal, And Got $8 Million For Her Coachella Set

April 20, 2019 / Posted by:

The Beyhive got their stingers in a twist when their Google alerts went all dingy this week with the vicious claim that Ariana Grande got paid twice as much as their leader Beyonce to headline Coachella. I mean, it makes sense, since Ariana had the best four members of NSYNC in her Coachella show, and Beyonce didn’t even TRY to get O-Town for hers. But because this is not a belated April Fool’s Day prank, and anyone on their meds would know that we are living in real life world and not The Upside Down, of course there is no way in Hell, on God’s Green Earth, or while Beyonce is still living and breathing (and probably into the Afterlife, who are we kidding) that type of wage gap disparity would actually happen to the Queen of the Honey Bucket Pot.

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The Cops Were Called To Remove Bella Thorne From Her Ex-Boyfriend’s House

April 19, 2019 / Posted by:

If your path should cross with a ModThorne stan today, I urge you to be gentle with them. They are going through it. TMZ reports that Bella Thorne and her boyfriend, Mod Sun, broke up at Coachella. To make matters worse, just a few days later, Bella was papped kissing another man. I guess the old adage “what happens at Coachella stays at Coachella” doesn’t apply when you live your life like everyday is Coachella. And a totally Coachella thing to do is to sneak into your ex-boyfriend’s perma-tent (AKA a house) to get your shit when he’s not home, only to have his entourage call the cops on you. Thus ends another chapter of Bella’s new book/zine/8th grade journal, The Life Of A Wannabe Mogel. Who in your life needs a hug right now?

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Ariana Grande Took Over For Justin Timberlake For An NSYNC Reunion During Her Coachella Set

April 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Could it be that we finally have an answer to the age-old philosophical debate: Is Justin Timberlake necessary? Judging from the reaction of fans who watched Ariana Grande’s Coachella set last night, the answer is: Who? According to Vulture, as the headlining act for Sunday night, Ariana gave thousands of NSYNC fans the night of their lives by reuniting the band, sans JT.

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Solange Has Dropped Out Of Coachella

April 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Hey all, I’m thrilled to be joining the writer slaves who toil for Michael K! I’m queer, I’m here, and I love a bagel and a shmear! I live in the crazy alternative universe that is Florida. And I’m the only one here who does not own a gun, which will probably get me kicked out of the state for admitting, but there you go. Now let’s get into Solange kicking herself out of Coachella.

Solange Knowles, AKA “Basement Baby”(christened by Michael K, lo these many years ago) is apparently sitting out Coachella…in the basement, or rather, in the studio, according to Vulture. Coachella tweets that it’s due to “major production delays.”

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Kanye West Will Bring His “Church” Service To Coachella…..

April 1, 2019 / Posted by:

Congrats to Kanye who found a way to make Coachella even more insufferable…

Coachella announced this year’s line-up back in January and one of the artistes who was rumored to be a headliner, Kanye West, was notably not on it. It was then reported that the reason Kanye wasn’t going to be at the show was because he’s a self-obsessed douchenozzle who wasn’t happy the festival couldn’t accommodate his stage-desires. Apparently he didn’t give a fuck about any of those rich people dressed up in Native American headdresses needing to have access to portable bathrooms; he just wanted his giant dome! Well he didn’t get it, but I guess his artistic vision has told him that the people should get to pee in a closed space, because he’s going to Coachella and taking his kult, I mean, church with him.

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Kanye Pulled Out Of Coachella Because They Wouldn’t Build Him A Giant Dome

January 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Can you blame Kanye West? What other kind of structure at Coachella would be large enough to contain his mammoth ego planet-sized talent? Kanye decided not to headline this year’s Drugs-Enhanced Music in the Desert Festival (aka Coachella). And it’s been reported that he pulled out two days before the Coachella lineup announcement because they wouldn’t build him a giant dome. What – you thought it was something as simple as he didn’t want to be upstaged by the hot chicks with the raw talent in BLACKPINK?

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