Category: Claire Danes

Claire Danes And Hugh Dancy Are Expecting Baby Number Two

April 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Claire Danes and her husband Hugh Dancy are expecting baby number two. The couple already have a 5-year-old son named Cyrus Michael Christopher Dancy, which is far too many names. According to Us Weekly, Claire broke the news to Howard Stern when she appeared on his SiriusXM show today. It came up while they were talking about an acrobatic, nude sex scene she had to shoot for Homeland. When she spilled the tea, Howard and company seemed incredulous and said that she didn’t look pregnant. But Claire said that was because she was sitting down. Claire clarified her situation for Howard (via Us Weekly):

“I am pregnant. I’m seriously prego … I’m deep into my second trimester,” the Homeland actress, 39, revealed on the show, but did say she’s keeping the gender private.

I don’t know nothing about birthin’ no babies, so “second trimester” doesn’t really tell me much. I need to know where that is on the universal fruit scale. Are we talking tangerine, orange, grapefruit or honeydew melon?

Claire outran the karma police last time she came down with a case of the zygotes and Hugh didn’t bounce and leave her for tasty Danish morsel Mads Mikkelsen. I mean, who would blame him if he had! Will Claire escape the curse of Mary-Louise Parker once again?! Only time will tell.

Pic: Wenn.com

Naomi Watts Might Be Rebounding With Claire Danes’ Sloppy Seconds

July 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Naomi Watts really did a number on me last year when it came out that (despite Liev Schrieber’s versatility in bouncing from a Shakespearean role to playing Cotton Weary in Scream) Liev would NOT maintain his 11-year part in pleasing Naomi’s Aussie cooch. The duo split, and garbled out the typical “We have huge love and respect for one another and high hopes for it to remain that way going forward” ca-ca. That is the usual prerequisite in Hollywood, before one of them fucks a member of the hired help and then has to buy them a Prius as hush money.

Well, it seems Naomi’s role as a horny therapist in Gypsy is sending tingles to her lady bits, as Page Six reports. Supposedly, she’s bumping Down Unders with her TV-husband (and MasterCard “Priceless” guy!) Billy Crudup. Continue reading

Now For Claire Danes And Her Fashion Tribute To 2004

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

At least I assume that’s what’s supposed to be going on here? Claire Danes must either be working out the kinks of a new prescription from her optometrist, or she legitimately wanted to dress in this outfit for the Met Gala. I think it’s the second option. But mostly because I want to believe there’s a stylist out there who successfully convinced Claire Danes to work some aspiring early-00s European trance DJ realness.

Claire Danes’ Met Gala ensemble is something Stefon would describe in a Why She Looks A Mess support group. Claire’s outfit has everything: cargo pockets, the cheapest curtain panel from IKEA, Cameron Diaz’s old hair, those folded paper fans your auntie makes when she’s too hot in church, pants from a Pussycat Dolls fire sale.

That whole outfit, which you can thank Monse for, gave me a major flashback to about a decade ago. I had a very similar shirt. Except mine had way more grommets and laces, and I definitely wore it with a pair of knock-off stiletto Converse that I bought for $19.99 at Zellers. Although I never would have paired it with those cargo-pocket formal pants like Claire. Pseudo-combat style mixed with suburban wannabe? Ugh, so tacky!

Pics: Wenn.com

There Might Be An Old Man Feud On The Set Of “Homeland”

October 7, 2016 / Posted by:

The faraway look on Claire Danes’ face in that picture above could either be because she just had a flashback to how orange she was at the Emmys last month or because the negative “I hate you” energy from standing between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin is giving her a tension headache. Page Six says it’s the second one.

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If The Definition Of A Question Mark Was A Dress, It’d Look Like This

June 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Cate Blanchett was at the Tony Awards in NYC last night, because she’s making her Broadway debut later this year in a show that isn’t Hamilton. (I know, why are other shows even bothering?) Judging by that butchered-up look on Cate Blanchett’s body, I’m guessing that she was also there, because she knew that most thi-turr people play it safe by wearing the most boring dress at Lord & Taylor, so she needed to give the public something that’ll hurt their eyeballs and make their retinas curl. Thank you, Cate!

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Betsey Johnson Brought Ten Tons Of “It” To The CFDA Awards

June 7, 2016 / Posted by:

It was very nice of Betsey Johnson to remove her name from the nominees list, and therefore give people like Beyonce a fighting chance at taking home the CFDA’s Fashion Icon award. I’m assuming that’s what happened. Betsey Johnson has always been my favorite fashion weirdo. Even when I was very little and my knowledge of fashion was limited to skorts and whatever the look is called when you loop the bottom of a t-shirt through the neck hole, I knew that she was the definition of effortless, carefree WTF style. Effortless, because she always looks like she put in zero effort. Carefree, because I’m sure she’s free of cares when it comes to what anybody thinks about her. And WTF, because I still cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with those glue-in hair extension.

Betsey brought her carefree WTF style to the CFDA Awards last night. Betsey Johnson gave everyone “getting-her-groove-back grandma” mixed with Janice the Muppet and a side of boxed wine buzz. She’s on vacation from all her worries and troubles and the collection agency that won’t stop calling and demanding payment for that pesky overdue TJ Maxx credit card bill, and she doesn’t care who knows it! Betsey looks like she’s about to climb over the bar at her all-inclusive Mexican resort, grab a bottle of rum and a handful of limes, and smoker-bark over to her friends Buffy, Bambi, and Binky: “See you in the pool!” I want to be this version of Betsey Johnson when I grow up.

Of course, there always has to be a runner-up in the Pageant of Life, and I choose to give that honor to Selma Blair.

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