Category: Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera Went Natural* For Paper Magazine

March 26, 2018 / Posted by:

*Natural-looking, I mean. It is still Christina Aguilera, after all. Paper might have been dead-set on a stripped-down Christina for their latest issue, but I refuse to believe that’s what they got. I’m not a scientist, but I wouldn’t be surprised if years of exposure to industrial-grade cosmetics has caused her skin to develop a codependent relationship with them. Christina might have agreed to no-makeup makeup, but her skin probably screamed, “LIKE HELL! I’ll agree to three layers of foundation instead of six, but that’s as low as I go.

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Christina Aguilera Wrote Her Song “Infatuation” After Finding Out Her Ex Is Gay 

March 23, 2018 / Posted by:

While Shangela is off telling Hillary Clinton to keep that guest house in Chappaqua open so she could move in and write What Happened 2: The Shangela Story, RuPaul seems ready to forget all about RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 3 and move ahead to season 10 of Drag Race. Christina Aguilera popped by to be the first guest judge, but it was a little bit of tea dropping after the show that got bits in a bunch. Continue reading

Not Everyone Enjoyed Christina Aguilera’s Karaoke Tribute To “The Bodyguard” At The American Music Awards

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Any doubt that the American Music Awards are the last-minute high school project version of the Grammys was removed last night when Christina Aguilera took to the stage for a tribute to the 25th anniversary of the soundtrack to The Bodyguard. We know it wasn’t a tribute to Whitney Houston, because at no point during Christina’s “most-confident bridesmaid at the bachelorette karaoke party” performance did anyone report seeing a disrespected ghost scream “Hell to the NO” while attempting to yank the mic plug from a power outlet backstage.

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Pink No Longer Loathes Christina Aguilera

August 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Pink is back on the music scene, and, while she recognizes there are plenty of Tinseltown cat fights, her and Christina Aguilera’s pussies are quite content, thankyewverymuch. As all things seem to go these days, her get real moment stemmed from a Twitter troll. Everything these days comes from Twitter trolls. Racist shit, bullying, U.S. Presidential “diplomacy”…sometimes all in one Tweet!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Drunktina

August 28, 2016 / Posted by:

As Brit Brit Spears did her mouth stretches (aka chew gum) to prepare to LIP SYCNH FOR HER FRAPP at the MTV VMAs tonight, her one-time arch rival Christina Aguilera brought out the return of Drunktina for the paps outside of the Up & Down Club in NYC on Friday night. Xtina’s official human walking cane/piece Matthew Rutler must have been on babysitting duty on Friday night, because a friend and a bodyguard were the ones who helped her conquer the difficult sport of drunk-walking in heels. That friend or employee deserves a prize or a raise, because she held it together while inhaling the booze fart that Xtina’s red lipstick-covered b-hole pooted out. Drunktina’s fart face gave that away.

Xtina’s look here is “grunge Jessica Rabbit” meets “Wynonna Judd in Private Benjamin” meets “casual Friday Peg Bundy” and that is the look, but she loses major points and also disappointed me with that faded lipstick game (see: pictures of her in the car below). Unlike her indestructible lip liner, Xtina’s lead-based mouth paint faded a bit on her top lip. I always thought that the only way to remove Xtina’s lipstick is with a sandblaster and a prayer. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

And those of us who are watching the VMAs tonight will probably be channeling Drunktina. The only things that will get us through that show will be the sweet nectar and (NSFW!!!) McDonald’s new and improved McChicken with secret sauce. I know, I’m acting like the new McChicken is still available and like the Kartrashians didn’t already buy out their entire supply.

Pics: Splash

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