Category: Christian Slater

The Hilarious O Faces From The Nymphomaniac Posters

October 10, 2013 / Posted by:

I wasn’t planning to see Lars Von Trier’s 5-hour-long CGI torture porn Nymphomaniac, because I’m afraid that watching 5 hours of Lars Von Trier’s idea of arty porn is going to make my gonads completely dry up and die. But now I really don’t need to see it after my eyeballs have laid themselves on the posters of each character hilariously jizzing. I just want to print them all out and wallpaper my front door with them, because this messy shit will keep all visitors away!

If you’ve always wanted to see Shia LaDouche, Christian Slater, Alexander Skarsgard’s daddy and Uma Thuman cum all artistic-like, your wish has been granted. Some of the slightly NSFW-ish posters (via ONTD) are after the cut. Warning: Most of these O faces look like OhImPushingOutThisShitHard face.  Continue reading

Florida Won’t Let Christian Slater Be Great

November 30, 2012 / Posted by:

It took Christian Slater 4 hours of waiting to vote on Election Day, but he voted in Miami. Christian gave himself a pat on the taint for being a responsible American and all that. But then a few weeks later, The Miami-Dade County canvassing board let a bitch know that masturbating with a banana peel for 4 hours would’ve been a better use of his time than standing in the voting line for 4 hours, because his vote didn’t count. Christian’s signature didn’t match the signature they have on file, so they put an X over his votes. Yes, they did Christian Slater like that.

Christian tweeted a picture of the letter today. And here’s the tweets about his Voting Day Drama on November 6th:

Every vote count…except for Christian Slater’s. I know, I know, this is BREAKING NEWS and yet another nugget for our overflowing “Florida” file. But I brought it up, because I really feel that from now on we should refer to Christian Slater as “Christina D. Slater.” It has a much better ring to it. Saying “Christina D. Slater” makes me lift my shoulders while winking.

Source: Buzzfeed via HuffPo

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