When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.
Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.
Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.
And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.
Since September 2016, former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar has been accused by 140 women, many who were minors, of sexual abuse. He was hit with several charges and pleaded guilty to molesting 10 girls. He’s already been sentenced to 60 years in prison on child porn charges, and faces another 25-to-life if enough of his alleged victims speak up in court. Nearly 100 women are expected to give victim impact statements in court.
The only problem was that some of his victims were threatened with a hefty $100,000 fine if they did speak out. Like former USA Gymnastics national team member McKayla Maroney, who accused Larry Nassar of molesting her starting at the age of 13. Many famous people offered to pay McKayla’s fine so she can testify, but they don’t have to do that now. USA Gymnastics released a statement last night assuring McKayla she wouldn’t get a $100,000 penalty for talking about Larry Nassar.
Stars, they’re just like us! They too can arrive at the airport expecting a simple flight, only to find themselves questioning the existence of Satan while languishing for hours in a soul-rattling airline hell. That’s what recently happened to Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, except they got to suffer in First Class.
Ah, babies. The perfect talking point. There will be no awkward or uncomfortable silences at Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s holiday dinner tomorrow. The second someone begins a potentially bad conversation (“Here’s what the government doesn’t want you to know about chemtrails…“), Chrissy can just whip out a picture of her ultrasound. And if that fails, I guess they could just send the dog out in a turkey costume.
But I doubt it will get that bleak, because this baby news is still new enough to keep everyone interested.
Earlier this month, bewigged reality television goodtime gal Kim Zolciak lowered the “cool mom” archetype to new depths by publicly offering her daughter’s oral favors so her son Kash could meet John Legend. Yes, that’s right. So THE SON could meet John Legend. It was 20-year-old Brielle Biermann who would have been strapping on the knee pads in exchange for goods and services for SOMEONE ELSE. Kim’s not exactly the most feminist pimp around, huh? John’s wife Chrissy Teigen saved Brielle from her human-trafficking mother by saying that there was no need for beej. The Zolciak-Biermann clan made it backstage to meet John without anyone having to spit or swallow. Heartwarming. Continue reading
To those of you who use the Twitter, you’re familiar with Chrissy Teigen and her epic, world class shade. She comes for blood and leaves no prisoners. For her, reading is fundamental, and the library is always open.
Especially in regards to Don Cheeto himself, president Donald Trump (or Donald Duck as my mother refers to him). Chrissy is known for letting her opinions fly out whenever she feels the need to spit the truth. She took to Twitter to discuss a few of the medical issues she’s acquired due to President POS and his administration of assholery.