Shocking to absolutely no one with any previous knowledge of Chris Brown, his relationship with Nia Guzman, the mother of his 2-year-old daughter Royalty, is every kind of messy. They fought over child support. They fought over custody. She accused him of giving their daughter asthma by exposing her to weed and cigarette smoke. Well, a judge recently put an end to a bunch of their battles, and TMZ says Chris came out the clear winner.
Just in case you forgot that Chris Brown was still a giant Sam’s Club-sized asshole who has to destroy everything he gets within arm’s reach of. TMZ says that the owner of several World’s Shittiest Boss mugs is currently in trouble with Ibiza police after he allegedly trashed a rental house.
Chris Brown is currently touring around Europe, and he rented the villa in the picture above for the last week of June. Yes, someone was dumb enough to rent their house to the human tornado of trouble known as Chris Brown. Sadly, the landlord found this out the hard way. Chris was supposed to be out of the house at a certain time, but he wasn’t leaving. The landlord called the cops in an attempt to remove him, but it turns out Chris Brown wasn’t the only problem inside the house. According to a police report, it was allegedly a disaster. There were knife marks on the wall (from either throwing knives or just straight-up carving into the wall), someone had peed on one of the beds, and there was vomit everywhere. The piss and the barf I understand, but knife marks? Were they doing the damn Mamushka?
The landlord claims Chris Brown also still owed him $26,000 for rent, but after adding up the cost of all the damage, that number is closer to $60,000. A source close to Chris says that the rent issue has been settled, and that the reason it hadn’t been paid on time was due to a banking issue on the landlord’s end. No word on if the cash Chris Brown transferred to the landlord also included the money for the alleged damages.
I know that landlord couldn’t have predicted that his house would have ended up worse than the inside of a port-o-potty at a Florida State Fair. But seeing the name “Chris Brown” on the rental agreement should have been their first indication that their villa was in for a bad time. Let this be a lesson to future landlords: If Chris Brown wants to rent your house, it’s probably a good idea to call up your insurance company and make sure your policy includes Chris Brown Coverage first.
Pull out your list of people who have had enough of Chris Brown’s bullshit and handed in their resignation papers. It’s time to add another name. Last week we learned that Chris’ manager of four years, Mike G, stopped working with Chris back in May after he allegedly received a “drug-fueled” beating from Chris Brown. Yesterday we learned that around the same time, a tour manager named Nancy Ghosh quit after he allegedly cornered her on his tour bus and unleashed a “threatening, drug-fueled tirade.” Now TMZ is saying that Chris Brown’s publicist has followed Mike G and Nancy out the door. And surprise, surprise, there was drama.
If I were Chris Brown and just found out I was in trouble with Suge Knight, I’d be making the same “You in danger, self” look too. Because if there’s ever been a person you don’t want to piss off, it’s Suge Knight.
Page Six says that Suge Knight has filed a lawsuit against Chris Brown and nightclub 1OAK regarding Brown’s disastrous pre-MTV VMAs party at 1OAK back in 2014. The messiness started when someone tried to take out Chris Brown and ended up shooting Suge Knight seven times instead. Three others were shot and one ended up in critical condition. Two years later, and Suge is allegedly still feeling the aftermath of that shooting. According to the lawsuit, Suge claims to have ongoing complications, including a blood clot, from being shot in his chest, arm, and abdomen at Chris’ party. Um, are we sure that blood clot is from a bullet that was shot during Chris Brown’s party and not one of the millions of other times Suge Knight has been shot?
Back in 2012, Chris Brown decided to hire a new manager in an attempt to fix the Tupperware container of rotten leftovers that was his reputation. Chris was still trying to climb back from violently beating on Rihanna before the Grammys in 2009, as well as deal with the public’s perception that he was an all-round asshole. So he hired a guy named Mike G to help him repair his image, get him out of debt and off drugs. In an unfortunate twist of irony, TMZ says Mike G is suing Chris Brown and claiming he beat him so bad he ended up in the ER.
Just like Justin Bieber, Chris Brown is on a quest to cover his body in as many random tattoos as possible. Well, it appears that he’s gone ahead and added another piece to his collection, and this time it’s a portrait of his 2-year-old daughter, Royalty Brown. Ah, the toddler portrait tattoo; the sophisticated second cousin to the infant footprints.
The Daily Mail says that early this morning, Chris Brown threw up the picture you see above to Instagram, followed by a picture of his shoulder with a not-finished portrait of Royalty on it. Not long after, he grabbed a bottle of Spray nine and scrubbed any trace of said pictures from his Instagram. So basically, that’s what I mean when I say he might have gotten a tattoo of his daughter. We can’t really confirm it, since the Instagram proof no longer exists. But of course, some people managed to grab a copy before he deleted them. This is what Chris Brown’s new tattoo of his daughter allegedly looks like.