All you bleeding heart monkey lovers out there who were ready to crucify Chris Brown for buying a baby monkey for his kid can kindly extinguish your torches. It turns out Chris didn’t buy his daughter a pet monkey after all. He bought it for himself. Quick, somebody get a lighter, we’ve got to light all these torches back up again!
“Haunted“ (*eye-roll*) documentary star Chris Brown was obviously never given the memo reading A) never give a pet as a gift and B) never give a wild animal as a pet as a gift. Chris posted a clip on Instagram of his 3-year-old daughter Royalty cuddling with her early Christmas present – a baby marmoset monkey. Continue reading
Chris Brown is finally breaking his silence about the night he and ex-girlfriend Rihanna re-enacted the limo scene from What’s Love Got To Do With It? inside a Lamborghini after a pre-Grammy party in 2009. The aftermath of that fight declared Rihanna the winner while Chris was transformed from happy, dancing heart throb into the second coming of Ike Turner. In the years since, Chris has remained tight-lipped about the incident, but now with his new documentary Chris Brown: Welcome To My Life, he’s ready to tell it all!
An awards show really isn’t an awards show until some kind of drama breaks out at the afterparty, and this honor goes to Migos and Chris Brown. I wonder if the court still thinks that Chris Brown doesn’t need violence prevention classes? Just wondering out loud here.
Last week, Karrueche Tran was granted a 5-year restraining order against Chris Brown, and in addition to keeping his abusive ass away from her for five years, it was also reported that he had to attend domestic violence prevention classes. During the hearing, Karrueche said that Chris had beat her in the past, so TMZ says the court ordered him to attend a 52-week program.
As it turns out, there was a clerical error and he doesn’t have to go those classes after all. The courts filed a document on Monday with an amendment to Karrueche’s restraining order explaining that the issue was not raised at the hearing, and the court doesn’t require him to participate in a “batterer intervention program.”
Whoever discovered that mistake must have had a real tough decision on their hands. That’s the kind of internal conflict that brings out the shoulder angel and devil and I bet even they couldn’t offer any help. The angel probably said, “Normally I’d tell you to be honest, but let’s face it, that dude should be forced to take a whole year of violence classes.” And the devil said, “This would usually be where I’d disagree with the angel, but I think we’re on the same page. If I had to encourage you to do something wrong, maybe scratch out 52 and change it to 104.”
Much to Chris Brown’s chagrin, he legally can’t act like a raging pile of shit to his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran anymore. Sure he’ll still try many times, but at least Karrueche has the law firmly on her side for the next half-decade.