Category: Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt Is Apologizing In Sign Language Now

May 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Whenever Chris Pratt has a movie to promote, there’s a 98% chance Chris will open his mouth and say something dumb several times, and his press tour will turn into an apology tour. Chris is promoting Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and he’s already said some things that have required him to slip into PR-sanctioned apology mode. His latest apology was delivered in ASL because he pissed off the hearing impaired.

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Sorry, Chris Pratt Fans, But He Won’t Take A Picture With You

April 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Chris Pratt is the goofy doofus holy grail for some celebrity selfie enthusiasts, but sadly they will never get the chance to add such a picture to their collection. Much like Justin Bieber and Emma Watson, Chris Pratt has no interest in taking pictures with fans. It’s not so much about privacy or spiritual emptiness; Chris Pratt told Cigar Aficionado (via People) that he’s too busy for it. He also doesn’t want people bragging about taking a picture with Andy from Parks and Rec.

“I’ve always been a pretty deferential, go-with-the-flow guy. But now I have to be economical with my time. If I go out and want to do normal things, I have to be comfortable disappointing people. So I just don’t take pictures with people. Because that’s not about enjoying the moment; it’s about stealing the moment to brag about later.” Now, when he’s asked to take a picture in public, he responds, ‘Would you settle for a handshake?’ And then they take the picture anyway.”

Of course they’d turn down a handshake. Unless it comes with a lasting skin disease, there’s no proof of meeting, and that’s worthless for brag points.

I’m still a little shocked that Chris Pratt is so strict with his picture policy. You’d think that a member of such a tragically under-represented demographic would happily increase their visibility by taking as many fan selfies as possible. If not you, Chris, then who?

In case you’re not yet tired of seeing Chris Pratt in a suit, here he is with Anna Faris at the London premiere of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 on Monday night.



Chris Pratt Felt That His Demographic Wasn’t Being Represented In Hollywood

April 22, 2017 / Posted by:

And I can see his point! When was the last time you saw a movie that had a straight white male as the protagonist, huh? I swear, if I see one more goddamn movie with a black lesbian in a wheelchair as the lead. Chris Pratt is nice to look at, but his actual demographic might be “30s, white, male, dumb.” Star-Lord did the cover of softcore gay porn mag, Men’s Fitness, and opined that Hollywood isn’t telling stories that represent people like him.

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Chris Pratt Was Surprised People Thought “Passengers” Was Creepy

April 20, 2017 / Posted by:

When Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence’s Two Sexy Goofs in Space film, Passengers, came out last December, many hated it. One of the major reasons why people weren’t feeling Passengers was because they found Chris Pratt’s character to be a bit of a creepy stalker. Chris Pratt is surprised that people felt that way.

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Chris Pratt Requests That You Stop Body-Shaming Him

March 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Chris Pratt is a slab of goofy hot, so I’ll do WHATEVER he requests of me… except praise his acting. Did you see Passengers? Oof. Jennifer Lawrence should have found the nearest life pod and rocketed her too-good-an-actress-for-this-shit ass off that ship.

Chris is currently filming Jurassic World 2 (side note: perhaps, maybe DON’T keep building an amusement park full of murderous dinosaurs?) and he’s been posting on social media what he’s been eating to keep his boyish figure while filming. Apparently, some need-to-get-a-job people have been giving him a hard time for looking too thin. Chris objects. What they SHOULD be giving him the business about is making sure Bryce Dallas Howard isn’t running around Jurassic Park in heels again, because that was every level of stupid. #misogyny

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Chris Pratt Found Jesus Outside A Hawaiian Grocery Store

January 4, 2017 / Posted by:


Some people have experienced a Come to Jesus moment in their lifetime. They can happen in many ways. Your horrified uptight aunt catches you and your cousins sipping from a 30-year-old bottle of crème de menthe in the basement and drags you all to church, for example. In Chris Pratt’s case, he came together with Jesus (that sounds really wrong) outside of a Hawaiian grocery store back before he was famous.

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