If you woke up panicked this morning that your smoke alarm was going off, or that two angry alley cats were making sweet, angry alley cat love under your bedroom window: RELAX. It was just Sally Field scream-crying because Maria Shriver achieved what Sally could not: the successful pairing of her beloved offspring to a celebrity.
It’s been nearly a year since Chris Pratt and Anna Faris broke the internet’s heart by announcing their marriage was over. I assumed it was only a matter of time before Chris made up for lost time by getting with many actresses and models. Instead, he remained pretty quiet, save for one lonely rumor about dating Olivia Munn. Six months after he officially filed for divorce, Chris has gone paparazzi public with who might be the person he’s currently dating.
Chris Pratt & Katherine Schwarzenegger Look Smitten on Picnic Date https://t.co/9qkgP5dfDp
— TMZ (@TMZ) June 18, 2018
Chris and Katherine’s picnic happened at a park in Santa Barbara on Sunday. Sources tell TMZ that Chris picked Katherine up at her house and they drove there together. As if her last name doesn’t give it away, Katherine is the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. According to her Instagram bio, she’s a lifestyle blogger, and an ASPCA ambassador. Uh oh. I don’t know how long I see this relationship lasting. It’s over the minute Katherine asks Chris what he thinks of fostering and he answers: “Is that the temporary ownership thing where you have a pet until you decide to dump it outside or give it away on Twitter?”
Mostly, the MTV Movie & TV Awards will give their Movie of the Year award to something shitty but popular (example: the Twilight saga sweeping the category from the years 2009 to 2012). But sometimes the stars align and MTV is able to give the award to a movie that is both good and popular, and this year was one of those years. Black Panther ended up taking home a bunch of awards.
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris seemed like the goofy, frivolity-filled
, pet-abandoning couple that you could go have beers with until they weren’t anymore. They announced their separation last August and ultimate frat brah Chris filed for divorce in December. Chris recently got very deep and told Entertainment Weekly that “divorce sucks.” Us Weekly reports that his ex Anna agrees with Chris’ astute take on the emotional complexities of ending your marriage. She said so in a SiriusXM Hits 1 radio interview on Thursday.
With two failed marriages under her belt, Anna Faris ain’t so sure she gets the fuss with marriage. Gurl, you better take that back of the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor is gonna haunt your ass! Continue reading
Kevin Smith went on Facebook Live to offer more details about his heart attack and it turns out the only thing scarier to Kevin than death itself, is the thought of people looking at his little dick. And since he had to get crotch shaved like John Cena to get a life-saving LAD stent put in, a whole bunch of people got a good look at his tootsie roll. And now you’ve pictured it too, and for that I’m terribly sorry.