Last week, a Kitty Pryde vs. Star-Lord battle was born when Ellen Page tweeted about Chris Pratt spitting out words regarding his Bible cleanse on The Late Show, and called him out for belonging to a church with anti-LGBTQ views. Ellen called for Chris to talk about that, and talked he did, saying that his church accepts all people‘s money and doesn’t turn down a check its back on anyone, the way he turned his back on that old cat he gave away on Twitter.
You might be thinking, “Err, exactly which anti-LGBTQ church are you talking about?” Today, we’re talking about Hillsong, that “alleged” money-making cult ran by the Hobby Lobby Terry Richardson, Pastor Carl Lentz. Justin Bieber was the Jesus of Hillsong before moving on to some other hipster church called The City Church. Hillsong is not a normal church, it’s a cool church, and it may dress itself up like a skinny jeans-wearing liberal hipster who marches in Pride Parades and holds up a Planned Parenthood sign at the Women’s March, but it’s against abortion and doesn’t exactly embrace gays. Chris Pratt is a member of Hillsong, and yesterday, Ellen Page called him out for it.
Chris Pratt And Katherine Schwarzenegger Probably Won’t Take Anna Faris Up On Her Offer To Officiate Their Wedding
Chris Pratt and Anna Faris had one of the politest and most efficient divorces in recent memory (even if it seemed to have lasted an eternity), so it’s not surprising that they maintain a warm and supportive relationship. Both have moved on, Anna’s got her cinematographer boyfriend, and Chris just got engaged to Jesus by way of Katherine Schwarzenegger. Anna recently addressed the engagement on her podcast Unqualified and said that Chris texted her the news the very next morning. She was so happy for them, she hinted she would be willing to officiate the wedding herself! But it’s unlikely they’d accept. According to People, they will probably want Jesus to handle it.
Chris Pratt (my 11th favorite Chris after Chris Crocker, Chris Farley, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Rock, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Tucker, Chris Cooper, Chris Isaak, and Chris my former Brooklyn weed man) is currently doing a 21-day fast based on the Bible, and I guess he’s taking that Christian shit all the way and is abiding by this commandment:
Thou shalt not fuck your piece until you’ve married their ass. (Sexodus 69:69)
Because he’s now engaged to his girlfriend of around 7 months Katherine Schwarzenegger. Chris let Tim Tebow know that he’s not the only one who ain’t going to live in sin (and also not the only one who can deliver a truly natural engagement photo).
Chris Pratt is looking more and more like his old self these days. He was was recently photographed poolside, taking his old friend Mr. Tumtum out for a walk. But Chris isn’t about that life anymore. As we know, he takes his orders from above and so he’s turned to the bible for guidance. Chris posted an Instagram story telling his fans that he’s embarked on a “Daniel Fast” which is “21-days of prayer and fasting”. Shit, any 21-day fast would have praying to God every 10 minutes to just go ahead and strike me down.
While it feels like some celebrities will still be fighting out their divorce battle well into the next decade, others seem to want to get it done fast and quick so they can move on in whatever way they so choose. Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are one such couple. TMZ is reporting that one year and three months after calling it quits, their divorce is in the can and they’ve wrapped up all the details.