While that may look like a group of middle-aged dorks visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of their favorite actor, Adam Sandler, before going to party at 4pm at Dave & Buster’s, it’s actually middle-age-ish dorks getting their Hollywood Walk of Fame star today. If me Googling “How can I relieve my sciatica pain?” didn’t confirm to me that we all get old, this picture of *NSYNC did.
Like all of us, *NSYNC’s fans are getting old, but thousands of them still pulled their IcyHot-slathered limbs out of bed at the hour of the dead this morning to camp out in Hollywood to see Chris Kirkpatrick (looking like Guy Fieri’s #1 fan), Lance Bass (looking like a South Florida realtor), JC Chasez (looking like the country’s least popular Vincent Vega impersonator), Joey Fatone (looking extra DILF-ey, you can judge me for that), and Justin Timberlake (looking like a ~hip~ preacher of a new age church).
When it was confirmed that Justin Timberlake is headlining the 2018 Super Bowl halftime show at the U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, Minnesota, many said that he should rise from the bowels of the stage flanked by his boys Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, and Joey Fatone, followed by letting Janet Jackson rip part of his pants off. But even though Justin and Janet are allegedly good now, she wasn’t approached by him to join him on stage. As for NSYNC, Joey Fatone swore that there wasn’t going to be a reunion at the Super Bowl. As it turns out, Joey might have been fibbing, because every member of NSYNC have been spotted in Minnesota this week.
Former boy band impresario and convicted Ponzi schemer Lou Pearlman died in a Florida federal prison on Friday night. He was 62. Lou was the corpulent cousin of Art Garfunkel (!) who gave us the Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, O-Town, LFO, and Aaron Carter.
The last time I wrote about NSYNC, a group dumb teenage me spent $55 to watch from behind a pole in the nosebleed section, Lance Bass was talking about how no one from NSYNC got an invitation to Justin Timberlake’s 2012 wedding. It was really upsetting news. How dare he do his four stage brothers like that?
It was JC Chasez’s 40th birthday yesterday, and he could have served up some pettiness by not inviting Justin Timberlake to his party, but he didn’t. Every member of NSYNC showed up to JC’s birthday party at The Nice Guy last night. They even posed for a group pic that Justin put on Instagram. At least I think that’s Justin; it could also be Martin Freeman in Jason Mraz drag.
The Nice Guy usually has a strict no photography policy, but they were obviously willing to make an exception for such an important reunion. Maybe Justin asked them to bend the rules because he was afraid that nobody would believe he hung out with the other members of NSYNC if he wasn’t getting paid to. That’s smart of him. Without seeing photographic proof that he was there, I would fully believe that Justin RSVP’d to JC’s party with a note that said: “Sorry, but I still think I’m too good for the rest of you NSUCKERS, so don’t count on it.”
Here’s a bunch of pictures of Justin, Jessica Biel, Chris, and Lance leaving JC’s party last night. When Joey Fatone left The Nice Guy, he grabbed a TMZ camera and pretended to be a pap. Then he “pretended” to ask them if they’re hiring and who he should contact with his resume.
If you’re anything like me, you started your morning out sitting somewhere in a daze, desperately reaching for the coffee maker from across the room like some kind of bunkassed Jedi while inviting Daylight Saving Time to blow you. Reading that Chris Kirkpatrick got married and watching some old N’SYNC videos on YouTube is doing a better job breathing life into me than coffee ever could. Between the TLC-wore-it-better satin pajamas, Justin’s moldy Top Ramen hair, JC dry humping a padded cell and Lance Bass as a chick magnet, this is better than caffeine.
Anyway, fifth runner up in a 1998 spring break Adam Duritz lookalike contest Chris married Karly Skladany on Saturday with all his band members in attendance. Loose-lipped Lance (also his Craigslist username) gave a few details about the wedding during his XM Satellite radio show Dirty Pop (via USWeekly) on October 29, including Chris having little interest in the “finer things”, resulting in the renting of Joey-Fatone-size-fits-all tuxedos.
“What’s really hilarious to me is that we went to get fitted for our tuxes at Men’s Warehouse — and he got us the cheapest tuxes there he could possibly get, which I think is so Chris and very lovely,” Bass revealed during his show. “I mean that’s just who he is.”
He joked: “I think its hilarious to know that Justin Timberlake is going to be in a Men’s Warehouse tux ushering the wedding.”
“Chris is a cheap ass motherfucker and should know I don’t get out of bed for less than Armani! The only good part about this crap is knowing Timberlake will be at the reception, busting out the Electric Slide in rented pants steeped in so much dried groomsman ball sweat, no amount of dry cleaning will ever get it out.”
Weddings these days seem so over the top and self-indulgent, knowing someone had a shitload of money to spend and didn’t is a nice change of pace. Looking at you, Kanye. All this wedding really needed to be successful was some floor-clearing “Bye Bye Bye” marionette choreography, Justin doing an impromptu “Dick In A Box” performance while grinding on Chris’s grandma, and the always classy Reichen Lehmkuhl crashing the open bar, declaring his love for Lance and being forcefully removed from the premises by Jessica Biel.
(Pic via Twitter)
I should’ve warned you to put on a pair of goggles and a mouth mask before staring at that picture, because now you’ve probably got L.A. Looks gel crusties stuck to your eyeballs and you’re choking on a cloud of White Rain hairspray fumes.
Millions of 20-somethings and 30-somethings are recovering this morning after the teenager inside of them blew up while reading about how ‘N Sync may reunite at the MTV VMAs this Sunday. Justin Timberlake is getting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award and Page Six says that during his performance, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone will sashay out for an ‘N Sync reunion. ‘N Sync all hung out together on Friday night at Justin’s show in Miami, so that means their reunion is TOTALLY going to happen or Lance, JC, Chris and Joey were only there for the open bar.
I am all for this reunion, but only if they reunite with those outfits and hairstyles too. Justin needs to break up with Keratin and bring back his uncooked Ramen noodle hair and JC needs to remind George Clooney who the true King of the 90s Caesar Cut was. And I really miss Lance Bass looking like a middle-aged lesbian comedian from the 90s who never really made it and always accuses Ellen DeGeneres of stealing her life! And those pajama tops….. and Joey Fatone’s gorgeous brunette angel wing bangs. I am lost in this picture and could go on and on…