Category: Cher
Susan Sarandon Says That Cher Stole Her Role In “The Witches Of Eastwick”
Debra Messing can really put her shank down finally because Susan Sarandon has decided that she really wants to hear a bouncer angel say, “Sorry, you’re not on the list, bitch,” while trying to get into the gates of heaven by starting an all-out war (not really, not at all) with honorary earth angel Cher. But Susan threw a PLOT TWIST at us, because even though she’s on Team Biden My Tongue And Voting For Joe and Cher is fully on Team Biden, this isn’t about politics. Susan has poured some 33-year-old tea by telling us that the role of Alexandria in The Witches of Eastwick was originally hers but that Cher, seen above exquisitely working one of The Slut Dress’ ancestors, swooped in and took it from her.
Cher Has Thoughts About Britney Spears’ Conservatorship
Fresh off from trying to volunteer at the Postal Service, Cher has used her tweeting-fingers for another cause. Cher is wondering why Britney Spears is still under a conservatorship and slapped at those who are using Britney as a cash cow, as Britney’s dad said, “Why is everybody looking at me?!” And, of course, Cher being Cher, if she’s got something to say, she’s going to say it. And if it’s on Twitter, it’s going to be accented with 50,000 emojis.
Cher Wants To Volunteer At The Post Office
You won’t find a greater patriot than Cher. And even though our greatest living American can’t type for shit, Cher has managed to make ALL CAPS and Emojis her shield and sword in the fight for America’s very soul. And in case you have mistaken Cher for some garden variety keyboard warrior, let me disembarrass you of that shameful notion. Cher would literally put herself in harm’s way to ensure your vote will be counted in the upcoming presidential election. Yes, THEE Cher tweeted that she wants to strut her fine ass down to her local post office to volunteer. And no, Cher is “NO,KIDDING.” She’s already made a few calls.
Thank God! There’s (Maybe) A New “Mamma Mia!” Movie In The Works
Never having seen Mamma Mia 1 or 2, I cannot truly wrap my head around the massive success of a movie about a hippie Meryl Streep running through the streets of Greece with Christine Baranski and a daughter who doesn’t know who her father is. Oh, and then Cher shows up out of nowhere. And then the hot guy on the jet ski…and then it’s over? (I took a break, mid-sentence, to watch both trailers and now I’m fully up to speed). Well, strap in gays and girls because after the first movie made more than $600 million worldwide, and the second one made $395 million worldwide, some genius decided that it might be worth it to make another one. Cut to Cher unplugging her landline telephone and adding “CAN’T. TOO BUSY” to every date in her 2021-2022 calendar.
Cher, Naomi Campbell And Kim Kardashian Did A Motorcycle Gang Themed Photo Shoot Together
One thing I’ll never do is question Cher’s judgement. However, I’m shocked and saddened to report that Cher participated in a photo shoot for the cover of CR Fashionbook magazine in which she shares billing with Kim Kardashian and Naomi Campbell. Naomi I can accept. Naomi has the range. But the fact that Kim and Cher played with wigs and motorcycles together, side-by-side, hurts my soul. Therefore, I must rely on my deeply held spiritual belief that there is a higher power at work here, and her name is Cher. Cher makes no mistakes.
The Great And Powerful Cher Is Not Satisfied With Wendy Williams’ Puny Apologies
If a feud between Wendy Williams and Cher over Joaquin Phoenix is the only celebrity feud we get this year, I’d be satisfied. As such, I humbly give thanks to Cher above for her blessings. Last week on her show, Wendy ran her mouth off about the Golden Globes and got to talking about Joaquin. And because she didn’t actually have anything to report other than that he exists in the world, she rambled on about his appearance. In doing so, Wendy noted that his lip scar made him “oddly attractive,” and then mimed a cleft lip before talking with her hands all the way in her mouth. Adam Bighill, a Canadian pro football player whose son was born with a cleft palate, called her out on Twitter. But since most people don’t know him from, well, from Adam, it might have ended with Wendy’s eventual apology (more on that later). However, I am beyond thrilled to report that Cher has gotten wind of Wendy’s antics and is ALL CAPS MAD. So mad in fact she’s calling for Wendy to be fired. God may have made Adam, but Cher’s the only higher power I acknowledge.