My apologies to those of you who butt-birthed out a sparkly rainbow of excitement after looking at that headline and picture and thinking that Cyndi Lauper and Cher are going to star in a Broadway musical adaptation of a gay classic together. You know, like Showgirls: The Musical (Cyndi as Nomi, Cher as Cristal). Or Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?: The Musical (Cyndi as Baby Jane, Cher as Blanche). Or Death Becomes Her: The Musical (Cyndi and Cher alternating roles). As much as I want to see Cher’s Cristal sing out a riveting ballad called “You Are A Whore, Darlin'” to Cyndi’s Nomi, that’s a thing that will only exist in my dreams. They aren’t working together on Broadway and their projects are totally different. First up, Cyndi!
Sadly, Southern rock pioneer Gregg Allman passed away yesterday after battling liver cancer, according to TMZ. The multiple Grammy award winner led the Allman Brothers Band for 45 years (his brother Duane Allman died in a motorcycle accident in 1971) and survived the death of his sibling and another bandmate, alcohol and drug addiction, and being married to Cher to become an elder statesman of rock. Continue reading
When Celine Dion knocked hos over with her angelic voice while dressed like Alexis Carrington going to her rival’s wedding, the other Billboard Music Awards performers not named Cher should’ve started packing up their shit. And when Cher took the stage, they should’ve picked up their shit and headed toward the nearest exit, because their services were no longer needed. Being a Billboard Music Awards performer who wasn’t Cher or Celine was like being the raw vegetable platter at a Super Bowl party. Everybody only touched the vegetables because they were waiting until the real stars of the night, the pizza dip and pigs in a blanket, were brought out.
CBS brought the axe down on Two Broke Girls after six seasons, according to TVLine. It’s a shame (for fans of that show and fans of legendary and ageless divas who hate Donald Trump), because they were in talks with Cher to play the mom of Kat Dennings’ character, Max. I only watched that show a couple of times, but it had some truly filthy one-liners, especially for network television. I always wondered if any leftover CBS fan oldies from the Murder She Wrote days ever stumbled upon that show and immediately died from clutching pearls too fast. Continue reading
28-year-old Colton Haynes, who came out out last year, has been dating 46-year-old floral artiste Jeff Leatham for a total of three seconds. Or maybe it’s been two or three months. I haven’t totally kept track of the goings on of Colton Haynes’ newly-ish out peen. Colton and Jeff haven’t been together that long, but I guess they’ve already been struck with stage 10 dickmatization and their hearts can’t stop barfing out love for each other, because they got engaged. And Colton’s flower daddy did it up. Jeff proposed to Colton with help from flowers, candles, an opulent Mexican resort, a fireworks show and CHER! The only way Jeff’s proposal could’ve been more glamorously gay is if a hologram Liberace serenaded them on a tiny gold piano while sliding down a rainbow as a bevy of swans in gold crowns presented Colton with his engagement ring.
If you follow Cher on Twitter, you know that Cher was passionate about bringing attention to the water crisis in Flint, Michigan that started back in April 2014. Cher’s twitter activism will soon be moving to a screen bigger than the one on your phone and will be longer than 140 characters. The Hollywood Reporter says Cher is starring in a Lifetime movie about the Flint water crisis.