And yet, Fox still has that disaster of a Lethal Weapon TV series plugged into life support? To paraphrase Andy Samberg’s character Jake Peralta: cool cool cool cool cool, the system makes no goddamn sense. Yes, I’m a Brooklyn Nine-Nine fan, and yes I’m more pissed than Scary Terry realizing he’s about to miss the farmer’s market.
Halle Berry was a presenter at the GLAAD Media Awards on Thursday and took a moment to mention one of the greatest films of all time – 2004’s Catwoman – and declare that she thought it deserved another “goddamn chance.” YES, IT DOES. The only thing wrong with this emancipation of a bad movie proclamation was Halle not working that Clan of the Cave Bear braid that she was sporting last summer. That braid took us all to Fascination Street. Was it for a movie? Was she exploring the woodlands in a much more barbaric time? Bring that braid back, Ms Berry. And lobby for a release a Criterion Collection cut of Catwoman, already. Sharon Stone (she played the villain) has already got an outfit for the release party to go with her derisive laughter.
Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.
If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my plastic recyclables from my paper.
There was a lot of messy fashion at the SAG Awards last night (prepare yourself accordingly after that jump below!). But obviously any effort that was put in was immediately cancelled out the second Kate Hudson returned to the scene of last year’s fashion crime and fully outdid herself in a fluffy Valentino vision of countrified love. I say love because, duh, the hearts a’plenty, but also because I love this dress. What’s not to love? Black velvet (check), pink beauty pageant chiffon (check), a high-lace neckline with corresponding bib of ruffles (checking furiously). The only thing missing is a pink parasol. Kate probably left it in the limo for fear of being mistaken for Miley Cyrus in a knock-off production of My Fair Lady called Decent Lookin’ Gal.
Here’s who else showed up and sizzled eyeballs with style.
Beaumont Gino who?
Gee, no, you see, that’s my actual name! My parents are comedians. I’m still learning to roll my eyes properly because I’m a newborn.
If most of yesterday’s news gave you the sads, today is bursting forth with new life! On July 1st, Get Out writer, director and producer, Jordan Peele, and the Brooklyn Nine-Nine actress, Chelsea Peretti, welcomed their first child, a baby boy named Beaumont Gino Peele.
On Saturday, 38-year-old Chelsea Peretti (Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine) announced that she’s pregnant in a pretty obvious way. Chelsea Instagrammed a picture of herself looking several months knocked up with a baby she made with her 37-year-old husband Jordan Peele. She captioned the photo: “beyonce schmonce.” It was very kind of Chelsea to give Beyonce many days worth of baby announcement attention before yanking the spotlight away like that.
Chelsea has also been hiding her pregnancy for the past couple months and probably because she’s private like that. When Chelsea and Jordan got married earlier last year, they did it in secret and their only witness was their dog.
This will be both Chelsea and Jordan’s first kid. The pun-loving middle-aged mom in me really wants to make a joke about how they should totally name their baby Orange. But really, Orange Peele sounds like a perfect name for a Florida drag queen, and that automatically classifies it as a good name.
Chelsea Peretti’s pregnancy announcement does more than just let people know she’s knocked up; it also shows that she’s absolutely nothing like her character on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. If Gina Linetti wanted to let everyone know she was pregnant, she too would have referenced Beyonce. But it wouldn’t have been via a two-word selfie caption. She would have recreated Beyonce’s pregnancy shoot by having Scully and Hitchcock take a red car from the impound lot and stuff it full of parking tickets folded into flowers.