Infinite disaster person Charlie Sheen has somehow convinced a model-type to be his newest future mistake. Or the other way around? Either way, he’s obviously still #winning.
The Daily Mail (via New York Daily News) reports that Charlie introduced the latest goddess to the paparazzi outside of a restaurant in Santa Monica. Her name is Julia Stambler (more like: HelpMeOhGodHelpMeHeCrazy2017 on Twitter), but Charlie lovingly refers to her as “Jools.”
Shortly after Charlie Sheen took a blowtorch to the bridge connecting him with Two and a Half Men back in 2011, he immediately shit-talked his replacement, Ashton Kutcher.Well, Charlie has finally recognized what a goblin he was to Ashton.
Charlie Sheen has a direct-to-TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families, which I’ve learned isn’t a documentary about the people who receive his child support checks. It’s appropriate that Charlie is promoting a movie with the word “mad” in the title, because Charlie is still very mad at Rihanna for that time she wouldn’t wave him and his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi over to her table at a restaurant. He also had something to say about Jenny McCarthy, Selma Blair, and Jennifer Grey. You leave Baby out of this, Charlie!
Charlie Sheen has released a statement about the very messy and sad situation that his ex-wife Brooke Mueller and their 7-year-old twin sons found themselves in this week in Salt Lake City, Utah. And in true “Charlie Sheen always makes it messier” fashion, his statement comes in the form of a nonsense poem released exclusively to People magazine.
If you’re a Walmart parking lot drug dealer in the Salt Lake City area, a barefoot tornado of blond messiness may have tried to trade you a kid for a baggie of the bad shit last night. Because TMZ reports that Charlie Sheen’s ex and the mother of his 7-year-old twins, Bob and Max, caused a scene at a bar last night and they were all missing for a few hours.
Charlie Sheen has been really into this year’s World Series, because the Cleveland Indians played and that was the team used in his 1989 movie Major League. Two weeks ago, Charlie tweeted a picture of himself as Major League’s sexiest near-sighted fastball-throwing felon Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn and joked: “if called upon, I’d be honored.” Charlie Sheen even tried really hard (and failed, several times) to get to throw out the first pitch during any of the Indians’ home games. But one of Charlie’s smaller, more lucid dreams did come true last night.