Long before Charlie Hunnam was a muscled-up method thespian, he was a barely legal twink (see: above in a still from Queer As Folk) who got quickie married to a chick he only knew for a few weeks. When Charlie Hunnam was around 18, he went to an audition for Dawson’s Creek and that’s where he met Katharine Towne, who’s two years older than him. Three weeks after Charlie and the star of The In Crowd (or Sunday if you watched Buffy) got together, they went off to Vegas and became husband and wife. Charlie says that they were in love, but this reads like either a green card situation or a major dickmatization/coochmatization situation.
After a day of posts about Lyme disease fakers, Suge Knight shit, Shia LaBeouf going nuts again and the death of Don Rickles, what we all need is a dose Charlie Hunnam in a suit. I won’t even ruin this moment by copy and pasting a new quote he dribbled out about ignoring his girlfriend for months for the sake of his art. Not today.
Charlie, seen above working a Parasite Hilton wonk eye, put on his best movie star drag for last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z. Charlie has a true Hollywood glow about him and I’m talking about that damn thick bronzer. Charlie’s makeup artist must’ve set the bronzer gun to “Real Housewife At A Reunion Show” and went wild. Trick looks like he’s been making out and rubbing his face against Mr. Jay from America’s Next Top Model, and yes I want pictures.
Charlie is also the opposite of Stephanie “Excuse My Beauty” Yellowhair, because while she likes tans on her legs, not face, he likes tans on his face, not the rest of his body. Charlie is new-ish to this movie star thing, so I’ll forgive him for not matching his hands to his face.
And here’s more pictures from last night’s premiere including Robert Pattinson (working hair that I’m guessing was cut by a hyperactive toddler with safety scissors), Sienna Miller (who wore a dress made of crib skirts) and a skinny Brad Pitt who was dressed like a grandpa going to an off track betting place.
Charlie Hunnam admitted a few months ago that while he was filming The Lost City of Z in Colombia, he went method by ignoring his girlfriend Morgana McNelis. At the same time Charlie was pulling his method acting antics on Morgana, his co-star Robert Pattinson might have been running the same game on him.
During an interview with Screen Daily, Charlie admitted that before they started filming The Lost City of Z, he had a few rehearsals with Sienna Miller, but none with Robert because he wanted their relationship to evolve naturally on screen. Charlie says that he doesn’t think he said more than ten words to Robert off-camera.
“I didn’t know if he was just ‘in that zone’ or if he genuinely didn’t like me. There was a real distance between us. But it creates the right dynamic on screen.”
But don’t worry, they’re sort-of friends now.
“He’s reached out to me subsequently, making overtures for us to be friends now, so I think it was about the work.”
Since asking someone if they’re method acting seems to be just too difficult, maybe actors should be required to have some kind of signal to let everyone else on set know that they’re decided to go method. Just so that no one is awkwardly standing around, scratching their heads and wondering what they did to piss so-and-so off. They could wear little vests like service dogs that say: “PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED – I’m not being a dick, I’m just method acting.”
Here’s Charlie looking like he’s auditioning for the role of ‘Cocky College RA from 2003′ at CinemaCon in Las Vegas yesterday.
Charlie Hunnam has gotten his ass out many (many) times on Sons of Anarchy and pretended to have sex on Queer as Folk. If you Google “Charlie Hunnam sex scene“, plenty of stuff comes up. I know, I totally just walked into a boner joke there. Since Charlie has so many sex scenes on his resume, you’d think that was a sign that he really enjoys doing them. Nope.
In 2013, it seemed like a sure thing that Charlie Hunnam would be the one blandly spanking Dakota Johnson in a movie version of Fifty Shades of Grey. Charlie seemed excited about it, but then all of a sudden, he quit the movie. Charlie blamed it all on scheduling. If that scheduling conflict was a person, this would be where they should cut Charlie a check for therapy, because he’s still so traumatized from quitting.
A few years ago, Charlie got melodramatic while talking about quitting Fifty Shades, saying he boo-hooed on the phone to director Sam Taylor-Johnson for 20 minutes after he quit. According to Charlie, quitting was the most “emotionally destructive and destructive thing” he’s ever had to do professionally. Apparently time hasn’t healed that memory for him. During an interview with Elle to promote The Lost City of Z, Charlie was asked if he ever saw Fifty Shades, and it sounds like that’s never going to be something he’ll do.
“I haven’t. I developed a friendship with [director Sam Taylor-Johnson], but that was a somewhat traumatic experience for me. I didn’t want to open that wound.”
Honestly, having a feel-bad flashback is the least of the reasons for why Charlie should never, ever see Fifty Shades of Grey. He thinks he’s traumatized now? Wait until he actually watches it. About 10 seconds into the unintentionally awkward scene where Anastasia meets Christian, Charlie’s body would become paralyzed with fear as a cold bead of sweat rolls down his face. And he will realize just how massive of a bullet that scheduling conflict helped him dodge. It would be like Charlie’s version of It’s A Wonderful Life, except it would end with Charlie scrambling to find the remote control and crying “Enough! Enough! Turn it off, Clarence, I’ve seen enough!”
Sexercise advocate Charlie Hunnam isn’t one of those humblebragging, false modesty types when it comes to his physical attractiveness. You know the ones. When someone extremely good-looking is all “oh, I really hate my ankles” and you and your fupa want to choke the life out of them? That’s not Charlie. He’s hot, he’s got a movie to sell (The Lost City of Z) and he can acknowledge that you want to do him. It’s not always helpful, though, to have people constantly throwing their panty-wrapped phone numbers at you. (He sure didn’t like it when I did it. I’d like those back please, Chuck.)