When Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced the end of their almost 9-year marriage, they said they wanted to “share the truth” about why they were calling it quits so that no one heard any “alternative facts.” If you believe blind items and internet rumors, then you might have guessed that was their way of getting ahead of people whispering that Channing had been picking up women who weren’t his wife. Whatever you may have heard about Channing’s extracurricular activities, Jenna kindly asks that you please not believe any of it.
“Happy to clarify that absolutely none of these rumors are true. The reason our statement was so positive [was] because that’s the reality of the situation.”
And according to a source, there’s no hate and their relationship wasn’t killed by side pieces, just a lack of romance.
“They honestly do still love each other and that’s not just for show. That love turned more into a friendship rather than the passion they felt when they first met and fell in love.”
The source adds they definitely won’t be getting back together, but that they will continue to be the best parents to their 4-year-old daughter Everly. The source says that “the fact that they get along is everything.” So there’s no drama, none, zero! They just grew apart, and that’s that. But if you still aren’t convinced, then please join me in picturing a pissed-off Jenna whipping handfuls of Channing’s stripper bow ties at her husband after he returned home at 3am reeking of various Victoria’s Secret body sprays. It’s probably not true, but it’s a fun visual.
All us basic betches had a reason to grab the Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough late last night when Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced they split up. First Kermit and Miss Piggy, then Chris Pratt and Anna Faris and now this?! Who is next?? Chicken nuggets and waffle fries?? Channing and Jenna kept it sweet in their break-up note, and it may have something to do with them being done months ago. Continue reading
Stocks in Ginuwine Inc. just went through the roof. Channing Tatum is available for private parties in the champagne room for the first time in almost 12 years because, he and Jenna Dewan Tatum have officially separated. His pony, is waiting, come on, jump on it. They were married for almost 9 years, which is 19 years in real world time, so this is pretty big news. Channing and Jenna, who met on the set of 2006’s Step Up, announced the split via Instagram just to make sure no “alternative facts” (smiley face) start floating around.
Channing Tatum’s been eschewing boring old press junkets in favor of a cross country promotional tour for his upcoming NASCAR themed heist movie, Logan Lucky. Channing and crew have been popping up in places where regular Americans go with their own MAGA (Make American Grind Again) campaign and chopping it up with the locals.
Channing Tatum recently opened the official Magic Mike male stripper show in Las Vegas, and he’s been doing the press rounds for it. E! News showed him a bunch of pics of other male celebrities and asked him to come up with stripper aliases for them on the spot. Channing dialed his mind from: “did I really sign up to star in a gender-swapped reboot of Splash?” to: “play cutesy with the press” and gave it the old college try.
Here are some of Channing’s suggestions followed by mine:
Channing: “Rusty Sparkplug”
Me: “Bronzer Buttplug”
Channing Tatum: “Debonair Dogleg”
Me: Forget the game for a mo and let’s wonder why Channing is mentioning Clooney’s dogleg. Does he know something about what George is packing that we don’t? Hmmmm.
Channing: “The Unicorn”
Me: Can I use “buttplug” again?
Channing: “The English Muffin”
Me: “Jailbait Joey”
Channing: “The Tattooed Kid” (but, judging by his expression, he totally wanted to go with “Irritating Shithead”
Me: “Irritating Shithead”
Channing: “The Deep Experience”
Me: Bitch, please! (Unless he was being shady, then sure.)
Me: “Secret MAGA”
Watch Channing Tatum objectifying his fellow himbos below.
The shady paycheck-analyzing bitches at Forbes have released their annual “Actors with too many undeserved dollars in their wallet” list (aka Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors of 2016). For the second year in a row, Johnny Depp has topped the list.
Forbes figured out the most overpaid actors like this:
Our rundown of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors looked at the last three films each actor starred in before June 2016, save animated films, movies where the actor appeared in an insignificant role, or movies that were released on fewer than 2,000 screens.We then deducted the estimated production budget from the global box office for each film according to Box Office Mojo to come up with a limited definition of each movie’s operating income. We took the total operating income from the star’s three most recent significant films then divided by the star’s estimated pay for those films to come up with a final return on investment number.
Math isn’t my strongest brain function, so I’m taking Forbes’ word for it.