Firstly, allow me to say hello. Hello! My name is Kristian and this is my first day at Dlisted! I am a wannabe writer living in Toronto, who spends my time playing video games, smoking weed and making myself angry by reading the news before smoking even more weed. Now go look up some Jack’s Mannequin on AppleMusic and turn that shit up to eleven: it’s time to get 2006-level moody.
I really want to talk about how that loose off-white turtleneck makes Chad Michael Murray look like an unenthusiastic uncut penis. But not what we’re going to talk about today.
Chad Michael Murray announced earlier today on Instagram that his wife Sarah Roemer gave birth to their second child, a little girl. If this news is giving you a case of déjà vu, that might be because you’re thinking of the last time Chad talked about babies. Last month, Chad explained that he was missing from Netflix’s Gilmore Girls revival because he was too busy becoming a dad for the first time. Chad announced his latest baby news with the standard tiny-hand-holding-adult-hand pic.
Chad and Sarah have never released the name of their almost two-year-old son. So they’re probably not going to release the name of their new baby girl either. That’s probably because they’re private like that and want to keep some things a secret. Or maybe it’s because the names they picked out are just too normal for the children of a semi-famous actor. And they’re not saying anything, because Chad and his wife are scared they might get dropped by their agents and blacklisted from Hollywood if anyone found out they didn’t try super hard with their kids’ names. “What are those? Birth certificates? Those are obvious fakes. Those don’t belong to my children. I mean, who are Kevin and Stephanie? My kids are named…uh…Monstertruxx Daggyr and Soulstiss Quartz.”
Seen above is the Great Value Brad Pitt of early-00s television, Chad Michael Murray, as rich shithead Tristan Dugray in Gilmore Girls. Tristan was a main-ish character in the early seasons, so everyone figured that he would be brought back for Netflix’s revival, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. So of course Tristan came back, but Chad Michael Murray didn’t.