Category: Carson Daly
Blake Shelton Wrote A Song For Gwen Stefani Instead Of Wedding Vows
Oh wow, more details about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s celebrity soulmate wedding. These two got hitched in Oklahoma over the Fourth of July weekend because ‘MURICA! And yesterday, People Magazine released a bunch of photos. Now Carson Daly, who officiated that shit like it was a very special episode of The Voice, has gone on NBC’s Today to share exclusive wedding deets. He reveals that Gwen read her own vows and Blake rudely one-upped her by performing a special song he wrote called, “Reach the Star” (owwww, my eyes rolled back too far!). And even though the wedding sounds like it was sponsored by NBC Universal, the couple’s former The Voice co-star Adam Levine was not in attendance. Hopefully, someone else stepped in to fill the role of “douchebag who hits on all the bridesmaids.”
Because You Can Never Get Enough “Tiger King,” Here’s A Roundup Of Daytime TV’s Halloween Extravaganzas
It’s All Hallows Eve eve, and that means it’s time to see what magical and amazing Halloween costumes are possible when you have the budget of a major television network at your disposal and access to the best hair, costume and makeup professionals in the business before realizing that your mom and her 1970s Singer sewing machine did it better.
As usual, Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest went with a wide selection of trending Twitter topics for inspiration, serving up a plethora of 2020 pop-culture costumes. And also as usual, the folks at Today made a big, chaotic, and possibly demonic mess with a salute to Broadway. And Ellen DeGeneres, well she tried to play nice this year by dressing up as a nurse “inspired by the real superheroes of 2020,” but got her ass dragged for not going as the maybe more appropriate Nurse Ratchet instead. This is Halloween 2020, what did we expect?
The Dance-Themed “Today” Show Costumes Were A Beat Behind
The Today studio is haunted by the spectre of Matt Lauer dressed as Lucy from The Peanuts, and it shows. Of course, it wasn’t just Matt that brought a pox upon the Today studio that day, though he ultimately posed the greatest existential threat. October 31, 2015 was the day the earth’s core fissured, allowing Satan’s demonic load to germinate upon the soil, his evil issue taking the form of humanoid creatures capable of evil the likes of which have never been seen, in hell or on earth. The Today group costume has been whack ever since. This year’s is the worst one yet with a confusing and vague “Everybody Dance” theme. Where is the specificity? Where is the cohesion? Where is the gyrating blood lust invocation summoning the infernal damned to take their rightful place on the throne of man? Are we expected to quiver in the face of Al Roker with a Carlton Banks sweater over his shoulders and ill-fitting golf pants? Not today, Satan!
On This Halloween, “Today” And “Good Morning America” Terrorized The 80s
For many Halloweens, the hateful demons at Today have give us many soul-melting night terrors by doing their hosts up like dark-sided creatures that crawled out of the sticky asshole of Hell. Like the time they dressed the entire Today show crew as Peanuts possessed by Satan, and the time they committed a horrible case of blasphemy by dropping a Matt Lauer shit all over the pristine image of earth angel Dolly Parton. They played it mostly safe this Halloween. I say “mostly safe,” because I hate them for causing my nipple tips to tingle and my b-hole ring to quiver while looking at Jenna Bush Hager in man drag as Goose from Top Gun. I should call 911 and report Today for actually making me get moist in the tip over drag king Jenna Bush Hager.
Today went with an 80s theme this year. Well, most of them did anyway. Hoda Kotb got lost in the early-70s while making her way to the 80s.
*NSYNC Got Their Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame Today, And Justin Timberlake Actually Showed Up
While that may look like a group of middle-aged dorks visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of their favorite actor, Adam Sandler, before going to party at 4pm at Dave & Buster’s, it’s actually middle-age-ish dorks getting their Hollywood Walk of Fame star today. If me Googling “How can I relieve my sciatica pain?” didn’t confirm to me that we all get old, this picture of *NSYNC did.
Like all of us, *NSYNC’s fans are getting old, but thousands of them still pulled their IcyHot-slathered limbs out of bed at the hour of the dead this morning to camp out in Hollywood to see Chris Kirkpatrick (looking like Guy Fieri’s #1 fan), Lance Bass (looking like a South Florida realtor), JC Chasez (looking like the country’s least popular Vincent Vega impersonator), Joey Fatone (looking extra DILF-ey, you can judge me for that), and Justin Timberlake (looking like a ~hip~ preacher of a new age church).
Those Messes From The Today Show Ruined “The Peanuts” For Everyone
Those damn Santa Ana winds (Note: If you’re a weather-themed drag queen looking for a name, consider Santa Ana Winds.) must’ve swept in some serious shit, because my allergies are acting up like Justin Bieber during a Norwegian TV performance. I’ve been overdosing on Benadryl, so when I first saw these pictures of the Today hosts in Peanuts drag for Halloween, I thought the medicine kicked on the “hallucination” switch in my brain. This is what it would look like if those mutant creatures from The Hills Have Eyes disguised themselves as Peanuts characters to lure children into their cave. I have three words for this: MWA MWA MWA?! That’s Peanuts grown-up talk for “WHY, GOD, WHY?!”