These country music stars are just not wilin’ out like they used to. This year’s red carpet at the Country Music Association Awards was tamer ‘enna a mule caught a nibblin’ in the marijuana patch. In fact, the only person on the red carpet to go full Nudie was the yodeling Walmart kid, who I guess is country famous now. You know, I yodeled in a Walmart once and never got invited to the CMAs. Of course I was yodeling through there with a quickness and headed straight for the bathroom; road-trip coffee diarrhea is nothing to joke about. For the most part, the ladies kept it simple with selections from the Gunne Sax prom collection, and the gentleman chose one or two items from the Sheplers catalog and paired them with black jeans. Of course, there were a few stand-out looks.
Only a few days ago, the internet was pissed at Carrie Underwood after she said in an interview that her 35-year-old womb was too old to be housing a bunch more kids.
“I’m 35, so we may have missed our chance to have a big family. We always talk about adoption and about doing it when our child or children are a little older.”
As it turns out, that quote threw everyone off the scent of the truth. Carrie has actually been carrying another baby the whole time.
Carrie Underwood fans have taken issue with a comment she made in Redbook magazine, a publication that seems pretty on-brand for Carrie Underwood fans. In the same Redbook interview where she revealed the shocking truth about her life-altering faceplant (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, wha?!), she also mentioned that, at 35, she’s worried the expiration date on her baby-making equipment is about to pass. For some reason, a number of commenters on Facebook, became incensed by this.
Back in November, Carrie Underwood cut up her face after falling down outside while taking her dogs out. It seemed like the fall was serious and that Carrie came out looking like Phantom of the Grand Ole Opry. But a fan photo later revealed that Carrie looked like herself. Because Carrie took a while to heal, there were conspiracy theories that her fall was a cover-up for plastic surgery. Carrie would like you to know that it wasn’t.
After an accident left Carrie Underwood with a bum wrist and 40 to 50 stitches in her face, she hid her visage from the world so that no one would recoil in horror at how hideously disfigured she was. In reality, she basically continued to look like Carrie Underwood. But it was a traumatic event for her, and she recently told the story of how it all happened. She also says her “big reveal” wasn’t supposed to be so dramatic.
I wouldn’t blame you if you forgot that Carrie Underwood supposedly has a new face after fucking up her born-face from a serious fall last November. She had to get 40 to 50 stitches in her face. Carrie made a big announcement about the accident, which made it sound like she had been horribly disfigured. But then a fan caught her at the gym several weeks later and she looked fine with the exception of having what appeared to be a jacked up Doonese hand. A week ago, Carrie posted a picture of herself, in profile, on Instagram. Fans seemed perplexed by her assessment of her injuries as she looked perfectly normal. Of course, it being a profile, her final form was still cloaked in mystery and intrigue. Last night at the ACM Awards (that’s Academy of Country Music Awards which are held in addition to the CMA’s for reasons), Carrie debuted her new single “Cry Pretty” as well as her new face.