There was plenty of opportunity for some good old fashioned country music drama last night at the Academy of Country Music Awards (the ACMs, which are not to be confused with the CMAs, the other white meat of country music awards shows), but there was nary a whiff of grain alcohol-soaked card cheatin’, man stealin’, hair pullin’, cussin’ and a’fightin’, and hootin’-n-’hollerin’ at the event. The only scandal worth tellin’ a mule happened on the red carpet when Miranda Lambert, the savior of country drama, showed up looking like the cat who chicken fried the canary and ate it with a side of grits . She brought her new husband Brendan McLoughlin with her.
These country music stars are just not wilin’ out like they used to. This year’s red carpet at the Country Music Association Awards was tamer ‘enna a mule caught a nibblin’ in the marijuana patch. In fact, the only person on the red carpet to go full Nudie was the yodeling Walmart kid, who I guess is country famous now. You know, I yodeled in a Walmart once and never got invited to the CMAs. Of course I was yodeling through there with a quickness and headed straight for the bathroom; road-trip coffee diarrhea is nothing to joke about. For the most part, the ladies kept it simple with selections from the Gunne Sax prom collection, and the gentleman chose one or two items from the Sheplers catalog and paired them with black jeans. Of course, there were a few stand-out looks.
Only a few days ago, the internet was pissed at Carrie Underwood after she said in an interview that her 35-year-old womb was too old to be housing a bunch more kids.
“I’m 35, so we may have missed our chance to have a big family. We always talk about adoption and about doing it when our child or children are a little older.”
As it turns out, that quote threw everyone off the scent of the truth. Carrie has actually been carrying another baby the whole time.
Carrie Underwood fans have taken issue with a comment she made in Redbook magazine, a publication that seems pretty on-brand for Carrie Underwood fans. In the same Redbook interview where she revealed the shocking truth about her life-altering faceplant (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, wha?!), she also mentioned that, at 35, she’s worried the expiration date on her baby-making equipment is about to pass. For some reason, a number of commenters on Facebook, became incensed by this.
Back in November, Carrie Underwood cut up her face after falling down outside while taking her dogs out. It seemed like the fall was serious and that Carrie came out looking like Phantom of the Grand Ole Opry. But a fan photo later revealed that Carrie looked like herself. Because Carrie took a while to heal, there were conspiracy theories that her fall was a cover-up for plastic surgery. Carrie would like you to know that it wasn’t.
After an accident left Carrie Underwood with a bum wrist and 40 to 50 stitches in her face, she hid her visage from the world so that no one would recoil in horror at how hideously disfigured she was. In reality, she basically continued to look like Carrie Underwood. But it was a traumatic event for her, and she recently told the story of how it all happened. She also says her “big reveal” wasn’t supposed to be so dramatic.