Theater queens and anybody who appreciates one-of-a-kind raw talent is putting on their sequined red mourning veil today and sadly singing, “Goodbye, Dolly.” There’s a very good reason for why it’s overcast and gloomy everywhere today (if you looked out your window and see sunshine, it’s just a mirage, shut up), because the world has lost a burst of bedazzled sunshine with a dollop of platinum hair on top. Sometimes when a legend dies, I say, “I didn’t think this was possible,” but this time I really mean it, and scientists are pushing all of their projects to the side to study how is it possible that the original Queen of Broadway Carol Channing, who we all thought would live until the bulb in the sun went out, died. But sadly for the world, Carol Channing died early this morning of natural causes. She would have turned 98 on January 31.
The holidays are over and famous actor types have taken off their bikinis and said goodbye to sunbathing their parts on a yacht in the Caribbean and put on a $10,000 borrowed designer gown to say hello to weeks of getting drunk on top shelf champagne while jacking off other famous actor types at award shows and film festivals. They all went back to “work” last night at the awards gala for the Palm Springs International Film Festival in wait for it… wait for it… Palm Springs, CA.
Reese Witherspoon won the Chairman’s Award for Wild, Julianne Moore and Eddie Redmayne won the Desert Achievement Award for Still Alice and The Theory of Everything, J.K. Simmons won the Spotlight Award for Whiplash, the cast of The Imitation Game won the Ensemble Cast Award and Rosamund Pike and David Oyelowo won the Breakthrough Performance Award for Gone Girl and Selma. And Bennyhill Custardsnatch and his fiancee of ten minutes Sophie Hunter walked away with the I See You Bitches Award.