To me, the song Bodak Yellow is Satan’s mating call to let us know he’ll be returning soon, and Cardi B is the glamorous mistress of evil doing her master’s bidding. Because that song makes absolutely no sense, but even mistresses of evil deserve love. And now with the announcement of Cardi B’s engagement to Offset from Migos I’m sure VH1 is already in talks with her on how they can make money off a marriage that will probably last about ten seconds longer than Offset’s career.
Cardi B is fairly new to the music industry, and she’s already hit some major fame milestones (like getting hissed at by Azealia Banks on Twitter). Over the weekend, Cardi B experienced the age-old musician tradition of smoking so much weed that you and your crew get kicked out of a hotel while on tour. The only problem is, Cardi B claims she wasn’t smoking weed, and that her hotel eviction was nothing but a case of blatant racism.
Rapper and fashion vanguard Cardi B has had a huge summer. Her debut hit “Bodak Yellow” has almost 177 million views on YouTube, and she just broke a Billboard Hot 100 chart record by being the first female rapper in 19 years to hit No. 1 completely on her own.
A lot of rappers, both male and female, have reached out and publicly congratulated Cardi. But it’s not all congratulations and champagne showers. Out of whatever damp dark crevice she was hiding in has crawled the Haterus Loudmouthicus, better known as Azealia Banks, to ruin Cardi B’s picnic.
There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.