Even though Cardi B was supposed to be the voice of Alexa in those Super Bowl Amazon commercials, a new report is making me hope that Cardi swiped an Alexa from the set to use to order What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Because Cardi might be pregnant. Continue reading
Last night’s Bruno Mars Appreciation Ceremony, er, the Grammy Awards was chock full o’ boring ballads, but one part kind of brought out the funnies and it was a skit involving musicians reading Fire And Fury (the book by Michael Wolff about all the allegedly crazy and stupid shit going down in Trump’s house). Everyone from Cher to Cardi B took turns reading about Trump’s love for McDonald’s and maniacal ways, but the “surprise” reader at the end was Hillary Clinton. Trump’s supporters naturally lost their minds seeing their favorite punching bag take time away from Cardi B’s gift of sound effects. Continue reading
When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.
Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.
Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.
And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.
The nominations for the 60th Grammy awards were announced this morning, and Jay-Z led with eight nominations. I suppose you could say that Jay-Z is the Beyoncé of this year’s Grammys? Although she actually got one this year too, for Best Rap/Sung Performance. I’m sure it’s a big day in the Knowles Carter house. Congratulations on your Grammy nomination, Beyonce! And also, you know, good job on all the ones you got today too, Jay-Z.
To me, the song Bodak Yellow is Satan’s mating call to let us know he’ll be returning soon, and Cardi B is the glamorous mistress of evil doing her master’s bidding. Because that song makes absolutely no sense, but even mistresses of evil deserve love. And now with the announcement of Cardi B’s engagement to Offset from Migos I’m sure VH1 is already in talks with her on how they can make money off a marriage that will probably last about ten seconds longer than Offset’s career.
Cardi B is fairly new to the music industry, and she’s already hit some major fame milestones (like getting hissed at by Azealia Banks on Twitter). Over the weekend, Cardi B experienced the age-old musician tradition of smoking so much weed that you and your crew get kicked out of a hotel while on tour. The only problem is, Cardi B claims she wasn’t smoking weed, and that her hotel eviction was nothing but a case of blatant racism.