Less than two months ago, Kristen Stewart made things with St. Vincent celebrity-official by posing for pictures at a Vogue fashion event together. Kristen usually plays it coy when it comes to who she’s rubbing up against, so I took that public event to be the domino that was about to knock down the rest of the dominoes that lead to a chapel and a priest and matching hers n’ hers all-black hipster wedding ensembles. It appears that might not be the case.
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year award happened last night in Hollywood and the dress code must’ve been: MESS! Because most of them were.
Gwen Stefani (in the gallery) looked like an off-brand quinceañera Barbie and Zendaya (also in the gallery) wore some floral glove things that made it look like she just double fisted a flower fairy. And then there was Amber Heard whose dress looks like it was made out of the dusty curtains, crib skirt and pillow trim from an old-timey rich baby girl’s nursery. That dress is what Miss Havisham would wear if she was finally evicted from Satis House and had to make coins by selling ass at a brothel.
Amber hasn’t worked many red carpets ever since she settled her divorce from the angry scarf rack, so maybe she purposefully wore something busted. That way reporters wouldn’t ask her about Johnny Depp, because they’d be too busy wondering who and what the hell she’s wearing. Well played!
And here’s a zillion more pictures from last night including Lena Dunham who worked baby bangs and a constipated face.
On Wednesday night, Taylor Swift debuted the newest life-size collectible figurines in her famous friends collection, which included Zoe Kravitz, Dakota Johnson, and Suki Waterhouse. She was clearly saving last night to show off her best, most famous new squad member. Taylor and her pretty girl posse went out again in NYC, but this time they were accompanied by special guest Serena Williams. See Demi? Sometimes Taylor doesn’t check the box that says “tall super skinny blonde model” when she applies for new friends.
I wasn’t aware that Serena Williams was in the market to join a new friendship group. The last time I checked, she was still a card-carrying member of Beyonce’s squad. Maybe this is all part of a larger scheme in which Taylor has recruited Serena take down that jealous hater meanie Eugenie Bouchard from the inside. “Hey Serena, you do tennis, right? Listen, I’ve got a job for you…”
Taylor auditioned Serena as a friend back in July 2015 by “please welcome to the stage“-ing her at a concert in London during her 1989 Tour. Serena is also friends with Taylor’s second-in-command Karlie Kloss, as well as squad secretary-treasurer Gigi Hadid. Serena seems to have passed Taylor’s initial pre-squad evaluation. It will be interesting to see if she successfully completes Taylor’s squad initiation ritual. I’ve heard it involves a dozen pink cupcakes, a pinch of purebred cat fur, six lawyers, and a blood oath.
Here’s more of Taylor with her squad last night.
Taylor Swift doesn’t currently have a boyfriend in her life, which means she’s got a whole lot more time for her girl squad until the next one comes around. Last night, the most popular slice of Wonder Bread in the bag went to a private Kings of Leon concert in NYC with longtime squad members Lorde, Martha Hunt, Lily Donaldson, and Cara Delevingne. And she also brought out her new recruits.
Prepare to send a bouquet of “I’m sorry for your loss” roses to your cool teen cousin, for they will truly be shook to the core of their Nasty Gal choker by this news. According to The Sun, Cara Delevingne and singer St. Vincent (real name: Annie Clark) have once again broken up.
The Sun says they pulled the plug on their relationship during Cara’s promotional tour for Suicide Squad last month. A source says that Cara and St. Vincent liked each other, but the long-distance thing wasn’t working for them. No word on if their breakup was amicable or messy, but I like to picture Cara pressed a handful of her eyebrow hairs into St. Vincent’s palm and whispered “Remember me?” before her taxi pulled away.
This would be breakup number…three? I think? It’s confusing. 24-year-old Cara and 33-year-old St. Vincent started dating early last year, then they broke up a couple months later. Then they got back together. Then they broke up in July of 2015. Then they got back together. And now they’re broken up again. Stay tuned for next week when there will be a 50% chance that I will be typing the words “Cara Delevingne and St. Vincent are doing each other again.”
Neither Cara not St Vincent have confirmed this news themselves. But I’m sure that hasn’t stopped Kris Jenner from texting Cara and asking if she’d be willing to channel some of that recently single energy into some more gayelle-for-publicity action with Kendall Jenner. “Hi Cara! Tried to work the Harry Styles angle again, but it seems like people don’t care. Give me a call if you’d be willing to get some attention in the near future!”
August is usually the month people set their brains to “Fuck it, it’s summer” and do the bare minimum required to keep the train rolling. But not at Forbes magazine. They have been busy adding up the dollars made by famous people last year.
Last week we learned that for the second year in a row Forbes named Jennifer Lawrence the highest-paid actress in the world, and that The Rock was the highest-paid actor. Forbes released another list of super rich people, and this time it’s the world’s highest-paid models of 2016. If your bank account crawled into a corner and cried after seeing how much money JLaw and The Rock made for playing pretend, well, you better go set up a nice blanket in its favorite corner. Because Gisele Bundchen also made a whole lot of money.