Calvin Harris, former publicity boyfriend of Taylor Swift and guy who makes music, announced the release of his fifth album called Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 on Instagram yesterday. The video included a list of artists who will make an appearance, and wouldn’t you know whose name happened to pop up between Pharrell Williams and Big Sean? Oh, just his ex-girlfriend’s main enemy Katy Perry.
And that is definitely the look from a swan pool toy who so badly wants to throw itself off of that edge.
A couple of weeks ago, Calvin Harris released what many thought was a Taylor Swift diss track, and for reasons that only her PR Team knows of, she didn’t respond by rushing out her new single: a cover of Hey Mr. DJ called Hey Mr. DJ, Go Fudge Yourself (she’s not trying to get that parental guidance label). But TMZ says that the two julienned pieces of unseasoned cauliflower stalk don’t hate each other anymore. They’re texting each other again and the texts from Calvin don’t say: I h8 U and if we did more than hump each other over our bed clothes I would’ve given you THE CLAP and been happy about it!
Something tells me Taylor Swift is not going to order a jacket with that patch on the back of it. Just a hunch.
Calvin Harris and Taylor broke up almost four months ago, and he’s still finding ways to pull her hair when they cross each other in the cool locker hall. Calvin came for Taylor on Twitter, he came for her on Instagram, he maybe-shaded her relationship with Tom Hiddleston in the video for “Olé“, he came for her again to British GQ. Now he’s maybe-hating on her in his latest song. As it turns out, there’s someone out there who can drag a breakup for attention longer than Taylor Swift. Continue reading
“I wrote this song, damnit! I’m allloowweeedd to sing along! I’m just a girl having fun!” Taylor Swift (seen above looking like Sailor Moon’s luxe older sister having bathroom difficulties) attended the NYC Fashion Week debut of her friend and fellow Snake Squad member Gig Hadid’s clothing line yesterday. The show, a collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger, was officially titled “The TommyXGigi Show.” Per usual, it was actually “A Taylor Swift Moment feat. Gigi Hadid and Tommy Hilfiger.” She knows what she’s doing. Which is why she sang along to “This Is What You Came For,” the song she wrote for her contentious ex Calvin Harris to record with Rihanna, during the show.
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before Taylor Swift’s latest ex-boyfriend taps on the mic and starts talking about what it was like to date America’s Girlfriend. But until then, we’ll have to settle for hearing about it from the previous title holder. Calvin Harris is on the cover of this month’s issue of British GQ. GQ posted a couple of quotes from Calvin’s interview online, and they clearly know the road to page views isn’t paved with his thoughts on classy aftershave or whatever else they talk about in GQ. It’s all about Taylor. “Of course it is! It always is!” chirped Taylor Swift as she scrolled through her Google alerts this morning.
Former TSB (Taylor Swift Boyfriend) Calvin Harris won the MTV VMA for Best Male Video last night for “This Is What You Came For“, which is kind of funny, considering the video for “This Is What You Came For” is pretty much a glorified photoshoot starring Rihanna. Calvin couldn’t be there to accept his award in person because he was in the UK performing a show. Calvin did film an acceptance speech and he thanked everyone but a certain media-manipulating folk art doll, that is.