Category: Calvin Harris

Cheryl And Liam Payne Responded To The Break-Up Rumors By Doing The BRIT Awards Together 

February 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Nothing sells tabloids in England like transcripts of a wire-tapped phone conversation of the Royal Family or Cheryl Cole breakup rumors (what will her next last name be?!), but the latest round of relationship-on-the-rocks reports may be false…or at least not ready to be announced until some financial settlement is made. Cheryl was rumored to be in “crisis talks” with the father of her baby Liam Payne, and it wasn’t just a crisis of some of the fug fashion he rocks on Instagram. While the word was they were oh-so-close to breaking up, they both arrived to the red carpet of the BRIT Awards tonight in London looking like their usual Mrs. Robinson-and-boytoy selves. Continue reading

Taylor Swift’s New Album Is (Shockingly) A Burn Book Sing-A-Long

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift! Continue reading

MTV VMA’s Fashion: Everybody Please Report For Detention

August 28, 2017 / Posted by:

There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.

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Katy Perry Recorded A Song With Calvin Harris For His New Album

May 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Calvin Harris, former publicity boyfriend of Taylor Swift and guy who makes music, announced the release of his fifth album called Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 on Instagram yesterday. The video included a list of artists who will make an appearance, and wouldn’t you know whose name happened to pop up between Pharrell Williams and Big Sean? Oh, just his ex-girlfriend’s main enemy Katy Perry.

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Hmmm… I Guess Taylor Swift Needs More Material For Her Next Album

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

And that is definitely the look from a swan pool toy who so badly wants to throw itself off of that edge.

A couple of weeks ago, Calvin Harris released what many thought was a Taylor Swift diss track, and for reasons that only her PR Team knows of, she didn’t respond by rushing out her new single: a cover of Hey Mr. DJ called Hey Mr. DJ, Go Fudge Yourself (she’s not trying to get that parental guidance label). But TMZ says that the two julienned pieces of unseasoned cauliflower stalk don’t hate each other anymore. They’re texting each other again and the texts from Calvin don’t say: I h8 U and if we did more than hump each other over our bed clothes I would’ve given you THE CLAP and been happy about it!

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Calvin Harris Is Maybe Shading Taylor Swift Through His Latest Song

September 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Something tells me Taylor Swift is not going to order a jacket with that patch on the back of it. Just a hunch.

Calvin Harris and Taylor broke up almost four months ago, and he’s still finding ways to pull her hair when they cross each other in the cool locker hall. Calvin came for Taylor on Twitter, he came for her on Instagram, he maybe-shaded her relationship with Tom Hiddleston in the video for “Olé“, he came for her again to British GQ. Now he’s maybe-hating on her in his latest song. As it turns out, there’s someone out there who can drag a breakup for attention longer than Taylor Swift.  Continue reading

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