On Saturday, Brody Jenner went from the hot bro LC used to shed fake tears over on The Hills to husband to Kaitlynn Carter.
Back when it was first announced that 34-year-old Brody and 29-year-old Kaitlyn were getting hitched, I predicted their special day would be filmed for an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But it wasn’t filmed for anything, because as expected, neither Kendall, Kylie, or Caitlyn Jenner were there. Kendall and Kylie’s empty seats weren’t much of a surprise. Brody told People last week that neither of them RSVP’d to their invitations. To be fair, maybe he didn’t know their current address; I mean, he didn’t even know Kylie was pregnant.
Caitlyn, on the other hand, refused to go, because if there was going to be a Kaitlynn Jenner at that wedding being given the center of attention, it would be the original, godddamn it! Caitlyn reportedly let Brody know she had a “work commitment” that she couldn’t get out of. Thankfully, Caitlyn and her daughters can see everything they missed by purchasing this week’s issue of People:
Brody and Kaitlynn got married in front of 50 family members at a resort on Suma Island, off the coast of Indonesia. It was the same resort in which Brody proposed back in 2016 (they met at a party in 2013). Thank god Brody doesn’t have a TMI sex talk show anymore. I’m sure none of those 50 guests wanted to spend any time during the reception trying not to make eye contact with Brody on the mic as he asks if anyone has any questions about what he was planning to do in the honeymoon suit that night.
Caitlyn Jenner is once again eating a giant helping of Yankee crow today, as she addressed British Parliament during a diversity lecture to bemoan how Donald Trump has set back the transgender community by 20 years. No shit, Sherlock…I mean…good for you, Cait! Continue reading
Before today, the closest I would have pictured Caitlyn Jenner getting to the words “speaking in Parliament” might be an Instagram sponsored content ad for gimmicky teeth whitening gum from France called Parlez-Mints. But BuzzFeed says that Caitlyn will deliver a keynote diversity lecture to the UK Parliament on May 9th.
Caitlyn Jenner Hid Her Gender Confirmation Surgery From The Kardashians Because She Didn’t Trust Them
Caitlyn Jenner has faced a dilemma since she transitioned. In her previous identity as gold medal Olympian and Kris Jenner punching bag Bruce Jenner, she was a dyed-in-the-wool conservative Republican. Since she embraced her true identity, she’s had to deal with the realization that some of her fellow conservative Republicans have never exactly welcomed the transgender community with open arms. In fact, their big stupid leader has already banned trans people from serving in the armed forces (despite the fact that thousands already do).
During the comedy of
terrors that was the 2016 presidential election, Caitlyn tried to bridge the ideological gap between her fellow trans people and her fellow Trump-loving buds in the GOP. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to take. Despite still occasionally sporting a MAGA cap, Caitlyn has since said she hates POTUS and has now formally denounced him on Twitter.
Since 2016’s “Well, It Was Nice While It Lasted“- themed election, celebrity transgender woman and automotive death dealer, Caitlyn Jenner, has received side-eyes for being a Trump apologist. The side-eyes have now become a “is this bitch for real?” full-on glare. Caitlyn was recently spotted wearing one of those “Make America Great Again” asshole-identifier ballcaps. President Donald Trump recently announced his intention to ban transgendered people from serving in the US military. Hence, it’s good that Caitlyn was wearing her asshole-identifier, so there was no mistake.
Caitlyn defended herself to TMZ and told this loooonnggg, convoluted, bullshit-scented story about why she wore the hat and how she actually despises Trump. She’s blaming golf lust, Starbucks, and her purse. Be careful not to break a nail while furiously pressing the button marked “damage control,” lady. Continue reading