“Michael, for why did you post another picture of the papier mâché puppet who plays Michael Jackson in that TV movie the world doesn’t need?” – you
Earlier this week, Donald Trump said that his inauguration will have plenty “of movie and entertainment stars,” and he wasn’t telling lies. So far his inauguration’s got the runner-up of America’s Got Talent 5, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and The Rockettes. (Although, there’s a slight chance every Rockette will boycott, so Trump might have to get the next best thing: Tiffany Trump rigged up to a bunch of dancing dummies.) And now UsWeekly is saying that fellow A-list reality superstar Caitlyn Jenner will be at his inauguration on January 20th. Caitlyn better make a stop over in NYC so she can get an outfit at Lucy and Ethel’s Dress Shop, because I hear that all of the “dress shops” in DC are fresh out of gowns.
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year award happened last night in Hollywood and the dress code must’ve been: MESS! Because most of them were.
Gwen Stefani (in the gallery) looked like an off-brand quinceañera Barbie and Zendaya (also in the gallery) wore some floral glove things that made it look like she just double fisted a flower fairy. And then there was Amber Heard whose dress looks like it was made out of the dusty curtains, crib skirt and pillow trim from an old-timey rich baby girl’s nursery. That dress is what Miss Havisham would wear if she was finally evicted from Satis House and had to make coins by selling ass at a brothel.
Amber hasn’t worked many red carpets ever since she settled her divorce from the angry scarf rack, so maybe she purposefully wore something busted. That way reporters wouldn’t ask her about Johnny Depp, because they’d be too busy wondering who and what the hell she’s wearing. Well played!
And here’s a zillion more pictures from last night including Lena Dunham who worked baby bangs and a constipated face.
“So I guess that means I’m the only one nervous about this?” said the baby growing inside Mel Gibson’s girlfriend’s body. Yes baby, it looks like you’re the only one.
A million lawsuits came out of Caitlyn Jenner’s crash on PCH that killed Kim Howe and a couple of them have been settled up. Caitlyn’s lawyers, and insurance company, have already settled with Jessica Steindorff, the driver of the Prius involved in the crash, and the stepchildren of Kim Howe. Caitlyn is still dealing with the lawsuit that was filed against her by the family who was in the Hummer that Kim Howe’s Lexus crashed into after Caitlyn crashed into her. Caitlyn has also hit Jessica Steindorff with a lawsuit. Basically, everyone’s getting sued for that crash, so don’t be surprised if you get served with a lawsuit in connection with it even though you were far, far away from it and have nothing to do it. We’re all getting sued for it! And now Caitlyn Jenner has dragged her good friends the paparazzi into it. The paparazzi have had a rough couple of weeks. First, they get betrayed by Taylor Swift, and now they get betrayed by Caitlyn!
Caitlyn Jenner, who must be feeling herself after that Sports Illustrated cover (the one in that odd jumpsuit taken against a random wall in SI‘s lobby), has announced that she will be in Cleveland during the Republican National Convention. She won’t be attending the RNC, but she will be attending a brunch organized by the American Unity fund for pro-LGBT conservatives. They’ll be meeting to call for increased bipartisan support for LGBT rights. Well, I’d rather be adjacent to the RNC than adjacent to the Kardashians. Hell, I’d rather be adjacent to Lassa fever.
Caitlyn explained her July 20 Q&A brunch in a statement to The Daily Beast.
“The party conventions are like the political Olympics, and I’m excited to be headed to Cleveland to stand with my fellow LGBT Republicans and allies,” Jenner said in a statement sent to The Daily Beast. “As a proud Republican and transgender woman, I want to support courageous Republicans who advocate for LGBT freedom. Our country’s nondiscrimination laws must be updated and this cannot be achieved without bipartisan support. Congress needs to act, along with almost thirty Republican states, to update our nondiscrimination laws. I want to do my part to persuade more Republicans to support freedom for millions of LGBT Americans.”
Caitlyn’s got a lot of people scratching their heads with what the Beast refers to as her “complex political identity.” Her LGBT rights advocacy is an odd juxtaposition with her admiration for noted feminist and desiccated armadillo scrotum Donald Trump. Jenner recently opined that Trump would be “good for women’s issues.” Er, um, wait, ok…I guess?
Jenner also admits that the Republican Party hasn’t exactly been paving the way for queers.
“I sit on the Republican side, and when we do get a candidate, I certainly will talk to them,” Jenner said in March. “I admit that the Democrats, as far as trans issues, are better than the Republicans,” she added.
Nevertheless, she can only make the GOP look good at this point. If this means they haven’t invited her down, then they’re as ridiculous as their future presidential nominee. Caitlyn is a supernova celebrity star! And, according to The Daily Beast, the GOP “has been having trouble lately at attracting star power, both political and pop-cultural.”
They couldn’t even get Montell Williams! Because he’ll be down the street introducing Caitlyn at her Q&A. Fools. Who else are they going to get? Clint Eastwood and his chair friend again? Whiny Elizabeth Hasselbeck? If they don’t start taking this seriously, they’re going to end up with Victoria Jackson giving their opening address. And she’s going to be wearing a scrunchie and cherry-picking quotes from the Bible. It won’t be pretty.
Here’s more shots of Caitlyn Jenner leaving Trancas Country Market in Malibu on July 3.
Caitlyn Jenner (who I still can’t with that cheap Kardashian Kollection for Sears-looking jumpsuit she wore on the SI cover) has let it be known time and time again that she gets a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart for Conservative types. So it should come as no surprise that she still has good thoughts about Republican presidential nominee hopeful and human overcooked buffet omelette Donald Trump.
The last time Caitlyn verbally patted Trump on his gross back, she was saying that despite being a total pig around women, Donald Trump would be good for women’s issues. Caitlyn still thinks he’d be good for women, and now she’s added the LGTB community to the list of people President Trump would do good by. Caitlyn got into it while discussing trans health during a recent interview with STAT (via People). Caitlyn isn’t officially endorsing Trump, but she’s not exactly not endorsing him, either.
“Everybody looks at the Democrats as being better with these issues. But Trump seems to be very much for women. He seems very much behind the LGBT community because of what happened in North Carolina with the bathroom issue. He backed the LGBT community. But in Trump’s case, there’s a lot more unknowns. With Hillary, you pretty much know what you’re gonna get with the LGBT community.”
Somewhere, Donald Trump is reading that and thinking: “Excuse you, Caitlyn, but I will always fight for the LGTB community. Ladies with Good Tits and Butts have always been, and will always be, my top priority.”
But of course Caitlyn thinks Trump would be good for women. Caitlyn spent so many years around the Kardashians that the only “issues” she knows to be important to women are real-looking fake hair, injectable plastics, and high-density makeup. “Look, Trump knows women. For example, he uses the same brand of thick orange facial spackle as my daughter Kylie.”