Category: Bye Bitch

Ding Dong “Megyn Kelly Today” Is Dead (UPDATE)

October 25, 2018 / Posted by:

Kathie Lee Gifford just told the full-time bartender in her dressing room to pull out the good stuff, because it’s time to celebrate now that it looks like the head bitches at NBC News are finally dumping the blonde reason for why the Happy Hour of Today (read: the fourth hour starring KLG and Hoda Kotb) is getting lower ratings. And then KLG will kick her leg, hop onto the cabaret stage she had built in her dressing room next to the bar, and belt out, “Grey skies are gonna cleeeeear up,” as her assistants ask the bartender for a stiff shot since they’re going to need it if their boss is starting off the day with show tunes.

Just a quick minute after Megyn Kelly dribbled out a canned apology for being a college educated 47-year-old former lawyer and “journalist” who has lived in New York City for years and didn’t know that blackface is racist, The Hollywood Reporter said that a source whispered in their ear about the demise of her show at Today. NBC News is reportedly going to put Megyn Kelly Today out of its misery at the end of this year. Megyn is currently in the middle of a $69 million three-year contract with NBC News. Cut to Black Santa sauntering up to Megyn to give her the gift of a pink slip this Christmas.

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Suge Knight Has Officially Been Sentenced To 28 Years In Prison

October 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Suge Knight has finally been sentenced after taking a plea deal for his 2015 hit and run murder case. Since Suge has a tendency to surround himself with shady characters, I expected his legal team to pull a fast one with a forged doctor’s note saying he shouldn’t serve any longer than a week due to a chronic prison blanket allergy and/or debilitating toilet ghost phobia. But TMZ is reporting that he was sentenced to 28 years.

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Suge Knight Has Taken A Plea Deal For His 2015 Hit-And-Run Murder Case

September 21, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s a small blessing Suge Knight looks good in orange (that’s the first and last compliment I’ll ever give to him), because he could possibly spend the next 28 years head-to-toe in the color. According to TMZ and CNN, Suge Knight’s 2015 hit-and-run murder case is finally over and it ended with him pleading “no contest” to manslaughter.

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Les Moonves Has Stepped Down As CEO Of CBS

September 10, 2018 / Posted by:

It looks like people will be C-ing a whole lot less of Les Moonves’s alleged power-tripping BS around CBS (that pun was clunky, but I regret nothing). At the surprise of maybe only Julie Chen, wannabe Janet Jackson destroyer Les Moonves has stepped down as chief executive of the CBS Corporation after even more assault and harassment allegations surfaced.

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Scarlett Johansson Has Dropped Out Of “Rub & Tug”

July 13, 2018 / Posted by:

It would appear that whatever little voice was telling Scarlett Johansson to make some supremely questionable career decisions took a late lunch recently and forgot to come back. Because the voice that tells her to think twice about the consequences clearly got some one-on-one time and advised her to rethink that whole “playing a trans man who looks absolutely nothing like me” thing. Scarlett is no longer playing trans man Dante “Tex” Gill in Rub & Tug.

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Geoffrey Rush Has Quit A Stage Production Because Of The #MeToo Allegations Against Him

July 10, 2018 / Posted by:

During the great #MeToo reckoning, The Daily Telegraph published an account by a woman from the Sydney Theater Company who accused Geoffrey Rush of “inappropriate behavior” by a woman from the Sydney Theater Company. Just like that, Geoffrey’s reputation was giving off some serious Cassanova Frankenstein vibes, something he didn’t like. He filed a defamation suit against The Daily Telegraph. Geoffrey claimed the allegations killed his career and forced him to hide in his house.

Geoffrey might have been exaggerating a little when he said that nobody wants to give him a job, because he landed the role of Malvolio in Melbourne Theater Company’s production of Twelfth Night. Geoffrey recently quit Twelfth Night and blamed it on those allegations.

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