It looks like people will be C-ing a whole lot less of Les Moonves’s alleged power-tripping BS around CBS (that pun was clunky, but I regret nothing). At the surprise of maybe only Julie Chen, wannabe Janet Jackson destroyer Les Moonves has stepped down as chief executive of the CBS Corporation after even more assault and harassment allegations surfaced.
It would appear that whatever little voice was telling Scarlett Johansson to make some supremely questionable career decisions took a late lunch recently and forgot to come back. Because the voice that tells her to think twice about the consequences clearly got some one-on-one time and advised her to rethink that whole “playing a trans man who looks absolutely nothing like me” thing. Scarlett is no longer playing trans man Dante “Tex” Gill in Rub & Tug.
During the great #MeToo reckoning, The Daily Telegraph published an account by a woman from the Sydney Theater Company who accused Geoffrey Rush of “inappropriate behavior” by a woman from the Sydney Theater Company. Just like that, Geoffrey’s reputation was giving off some serious Cassanova Frankenstein vibes, something he didn’t like. He filed a defamation suit against The Daily Telegraph. Geoffrey claimed the allegations killed his career and forced him to hide in his house.
Geoffrey might have been exaggerating a little when he said that nobody wants to give him a job, because he landed the role of Malvolio in Melbourne Theater Company’s production of Twelfth Night. Geoffrey recently quit Twelfth Night and blamed it on those allegations.
James Woods has recently found himself without an agent. Yes, James had an agent, but that agent recently quit, proving with absolute certainty that even when you’re getting paid to deal with James Woods, it still isn’t worth it. But it’s the way his agent quit that will make you feel extra-warm today.
The President Of The United States’ favorite TV star loves Twitter almost as much as he does. And they both use it to spew racist malarky, but only one of them has been pressured to apologize and is facing actual consequences. Roseanne Barr has officially crossed the line after a racist tweet prompted consulting producer Wanda Sykes to finally quit that bitch. Now ABC has just announced that they too are quitting that bitch and canceled the fuck out of Roseanne.
It’s a dark day for cartoonishly bad CGI sharks, movie title puns, and the bank accounts belonging to Tara Reid and Ian Ziering. Entertainment Weekly says that SyFy isn’t making anymore Sharknado movies after its sixth one. The tornado made of live sharks and somewhat-alive careers will stop spinning and dump everything back into the ocean where it first began. The makers of Sharknado 6 tweeted yesterday that it will be released in August.
— Sharknado (@SharknadoSYFY) March 29, 2018
Both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will return, as will Vivica A. Fox and Cassie Scerbo. EW says the plot of Sharknado 6 involves time travel. The fifth one, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, involved Fin’s son Gil getting sucked into a massive sharknado and the subsequent destruction of the world. Basically, they’re going to go back and prevent the sharknados from ever happening. It also ended with Ian Ziering’s character meeting up with Dolph Lundgren, which means you can probably expect to see He-Man and Steve Sanders fighting…I don’t know, tornadoes filled with Nazi sharks?
I just hope that one of the things they do while they’re back in time is make a pit stop in 2001 and warn Tara Reid – actual Tara Reid – that unless she wants to do something called Andy the Talking Hedgehog, she might want to start screening Paris Hilton’s calls. At the very least they should tell her to lay off the unfiltered Marlboros. And when she asks why, they can pull out a should play her a recording of her truck-driving-through-a-gravel-pit voice from present day. That’s a better wake-up call than any Charles Dickens ghost.