The President Of The United States’ favorite TV star loves Twitter almost as much as he does. And they both use it to spew racist malarky, but only one of them has been pressured to apologize and is facing actual consequences. Roseanne Barr has officially crossed the line after a racist tweet prompted consulting producer Wanda Sykes to finally quit that bitch. Now ABC has just announced that they too are quitting that bitch and canceled the fuck out of Roseanne.
It’s a dark day for cartoonishly bad CGI sharks, movie title puns, and the bank accounts belonging to Tara Reid and Ian Ziering. Entertainment Weekly says that SyFy isn’t making anymore Sharknado movies after its sixth one. The tornado made of live sharks and somewhat-alive careers will stop spinning and dump everything back into the ocean where it first began. The makers of Sharknado 6 tweeted yesterday that it will be released in August.
— Sharknado (@SharknadoSYFY) March 29, 2018
Both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will return, as will Vivica A. Fox and Cassie Scerbo. EW says the plot of Sharknado 6 involves time travel. The fifth one, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, involved Fin’s son Gil getting sucked into a massive sharknado and the subsequent destruction of the world. Basically, they’re going to go back and prevent the sharknados from ever happening. It also ended with Ian Ziering’s character meeting up with Dolph Lundgren, which means you can probably expect to see He-Man and Steve Sanders fighting…I don’t know, tornadoes filled with Nazi sharks?
I just hope that one of the things they do while they’re back in time is make a pit stop in 2001 and warn Tara Reid – actual Tara Reid – that unless she wants to do something called Andy the Talking Hedgehog, she might want to start screening Paris Hilton’s calls. At the very least they should tell her to lay off the unfiltered Marlboros. And when she asks why, they can pull out a should play her a recording of her truck-driving-through-a-gravel-pit voice from present day. That’s a better wake-up call than any Charles Dickens ghost.
After playing Captain America/Steve Rogers in at least 1.7 million different Marvel movies, it sounds like Chris Evans is ready to hang up his shield and tight blue pants and call it quits. Captain America is the second person this week that Chris Evans decided he’s done with.
Avengers: Infinity War – starring Captain America and everyone else – comes out a month from now. Chris will also appear in what is currently being referred to as Avengers 4, coming out May 2019. It sounds like Chris is done after that. During an interview with The New York Times (via The Hollywood Reporter), Chris implied he’s ready to retire by saying:
“You want to get off the train before they push you off.”
The Hollywood Reporter points out that Captain America is just one of several Captain Americas in the comic books. There are internet rumors that Chris’ Captain America might die in Avengers: Infinity War or Avengers 4. And they already have two Captain America’s waiting in the wings to take his place. Sebastian Stan (aka the Winter Soldier) and Anthony Mackie (aka the Falcon) are both rumored to be possible replacements.
Chris Evans first appeared as Captain America in 2011. Before that he played Johnny Storm in two Fantastic Four movies. So it’s probably time to get off the train before he’s stuck playing superheroes. But what is a basic brunette superhero hottie named Chris going to do then? Whatever he does, he better do it on the down-low, because the last thing he needs is all the other brunette Chrises (Pine, Pratt, and Hemsworth) finding out and following him. The trick is to get in early before the market becomes over-saturated.
So apparently Kanye West’s return to Instagram was a Valentine’s Day-only special. Just like the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate that have been replaced by Peeps and bunnies at CVS, Kanye’s Instagram account has come and gone.
It seemed to happen at a much slower pace than some other alleged creeps, but more people are cutting ties with alleged rapist Danny Masterson. In December, Netflix announced there would be one less douche on the range because Danny had been written off The Ranch. And then it was like, okay, so where is Danny going to work now? Well, he’s going to have a little trouble with that. The Huffington Post says United Talent Agency has dropped Danny as a client after 20 years.
UTA commented on their decision by simply telling HuffPo: “UTA no longer represents Danny Masterson.” A source familiar with Danny’s relationship with UTA tells HuffPo that the decision to drop Danny was made a while ago and it probably has to do with him currently being under investigation after four women came forward saying he raped them.
Danny signed with UTA around the same time he booked That ’70 Show. Before that he was playing Alicia Witt’s boyfriend on Cybill and the boyfriend in Beethoven’s 2nd. Normally I would say he could knock on his old agency’s door and try to get those boyfriend roles again. But with his current alleged reputation, I’m not sure anyone is going to want to cast him as someone who takes women out on dates. It seems like the only person who hasn’t dropped Danny is Scientology. Don’t worry Danny, I’m sure they still love you very much….just as long as your checks don’t start bouncing.
Comedy Central’s The Gorburger Show is a fake talk show starring an ego-driven monster puppet named Gorbuger that’s voiced by T.J. Miller. Although now it’s a former fake talk show. The Hollywood Reporter says that Comedy Central has decided to cancel The Gorburger Show after one season, thus putting the ego-driven monster and the ego-driven monster who voices it out of a job. But Comedy Central says the cancellation has nothing to do with the recent allegations against T.J. Miller, of which there are now more.