Category: Bye Bitch

Abby Lee Miller Has Officially Become Inmate Miller

July 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Today was the day that toe-tapping off-stage monster Abby Lee Miller was expected to check into the big house to serve a one-year prison sentence for bankruptcy fraud. Entertainment Tonight says she turned herself in at 12:05pm, two hours before her 2pm deadline. Now if you want to be scratchy-voiced screeched at for your lazy turn-out, you’re going to have to get in your car and take a trip to cell block D (or wherever they’re housing her money-scamming self).

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Beyonce’s New Lips Are Not Up For Debate

May 5, 2017 / Posted by:

When will these silly mu’fuckas learn that Country Time’s favorite representative, Beyonce, is not to be fooled with? You can talk all the shit you want to about about Jay Z’s camel face and Blu Ivy’s hair, but the minute you come for the Queen, the Beyhive begins pulling razor blades from their weaves and using Michelle Williams’ CDs as ninja stars. In other words: RUN BITCH! This was a lesson that (AKA everyone’s favorite nosy girl from ‘round the corner) learned the hard way.

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The Latest “Friday The 13th” Reboot Has Been Killed

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:


A strange thing happened recently. Hollywood decided they didn’t want to go through with another reboot of a movie from the 80s. But it wasn’t because they didn’t want to ruin childhoods again. It’s all about money. Multiple sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount has dropped plans for their Friday the 13th reboot.

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“Duck Dynasty” Is Going Away After 11 Seasons

November 17, 2016 / Posted by:

If whoever put together that masterpiece ad lost their job, may Mariah Carey’s Photoshop team hire them immediately because they have some next-level skills.

Cabela’s answer to ZZ Top (aka The Robertson family) pulled out their hunting rifles and shot down their show Duck Dynasty after 5 years and 130 episodes. All of the ducks in Louisiana did a celebratory conga line…. until they realized that only the show is gone, not the family and so they flew for their lives while trying to remember to not get horny when Phil Robertson blows his family’s mating call whistle.

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Shailene Woodley Doesn’t Want Anything To Do With That Made-For-TV “Divergent” Movie

September 9, 2016 / Posted by:

Hollywood actress with a heart of organic patchouli Shailene Woodley may have started out her career on television, but that doesn’t mean she wants to go back there any time soon. Shailene Woodley is a movie actress now. And she recently said that there’s no way she’s going to slum it on (chokes back bone broth barf) television if the final film in the Divergent series is released there.

In July we learned that thanks to the poor box office numbers that Divergent: Allegiant brought in, Lionsgate was thinking about releasing the fourth and final film, Ascendant, as a made-for-TV movie or a television series. Ascendant hasn’t started filming yet. One thing is for sure: they better start auditioning brown-haired actresses for the part of Tris. Shailene tells Screen Rant (via Entertainment Weekly) that she will not show up on the first day of shooting if Ascendant is the kind of thing that will pop up in a future TV Guide.

“Last I heard they were trying to make it into a television show. I didn’t sign up to be in a television show. Out of respect to the studio and everyone in involved, they may have changed their mind and may be doing something different, but I’m not necessarily interested in doing a television show.”

I can see where Shailene is coming from. This would be like agreeing to drive 45 minutes for a date at the Cheesecake Factory and then getting a text message while you’re waxing your crotch that says “Just checked my bank balance. Can we change it to cheesecake bites from Sonic?” Um, no we can’t. Do not try to bait-and-switch me with a drive-through when I was promised the luxury of the Cheesecake Factory.

Pic: Splash

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