Category: Bye Bitch

Kendall Jenner Is Ditching This Year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

August 31, 2017 / Posted by:

Kendall Jenner, one of Victoria’s more recent secrets, is skipping the 2017 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show because she has skankier panties to fry and a bigger cash to check. TMZ says expensive underwear company La Perla is tossing millions at Kendall to work her America’s Next Top Model third-episode-of-the-season-caliber modeling into their britches, and that shit comes with a non-compete! So no more Vicky for Kenny, which is a shame because it’s the one night of the year people younger than 900 tune into CBS.

While I’m not surprised La Perla has a non-compete clause, I am surprised they have their French lace panties in a wad thinking Victoria’s Secret is actual competition. Every time I walk by a La Perla, I get anxious thinking they make you take an AP French exam before they let you try on a thong. Meanwhile, I see Victoria’s Secret more often than not slumming it in the corner of a mall next to Old Navy! Check out Kendall’s first Le Perla post below:

write to me 🌹 @laperlalingerie #LaPerla_Ambassador

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

This leaves thwacking Ariana Grande with angel wings and playing the “How long can you walk down a runway with a pout while Leonardo DiCaprio wolf whistles from the sideline” game to the likes of Gigi and Bella Hadid and perpetual angel Adriana Lima. I’m also sure Kendall realized Taylor Swift has an album to push, so she would naturally be there. Tay and Leo both view that shit as open hunting season for squad members and girlfriends. Get out while you can, K!

Pic: Wenn.com

Abby Lee Miller Has Officially Become Inmate Miller

July 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Today was the day that toe-tapping off-stage monster Abby Lee Miller was expected to check into the big house to serve a one-year prison sentence for bankruptcy fraud. Entertainment Tonight says she turned herself in at 12:05pm, two hours before her 2pm deadline. Now if you want to be scratchy-voiced screeched at for your lazy turn-out, you’re going to have to get in your car and take a trip to cell block D (or wherever they’re housing her money-scamming self).

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Beyonce’s New Lips Are Not Up For Debate

May 5, 2017 / Posted by:

When will these silly mu’fuckas learn that Country Time’s favorite representative, Beyonce, is not to be fooled with? You can talk all the shit you want to about about Jay Z’s camel face and Blu Ivy’s hair, but the minute you come for the Queen, the Beyhive begins pulling razor blades from their weaves and using Michelle Williams’ CDs as ninja stars. In other words: RUN BITCH! This was a lesson that MediaTakeOut.com (AKA everyone’s favorite nosy girl from ‘round the corner) learned the hard way.

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The Latest “Friday The 13th” Reboot Has Been Killed

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

jasonv

A strange thing happened recently. Hollywood decided they didn’t want to go through with another reboot of a movie from the 80s. But it wasn’t because they didn’t want to ruin childhoods again. It’s all about money. Multiple sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount has dropped plans for their Friday the 13th reboot.

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“Duck Dynasty” Is Going Away After 11 Seasons

November 17, 2016 / Posted by:

If whoever put together that masterpiece ad lost their job, may Mariah Carey’s Photoshop team hire them immediately because they have some next-level skills.

Cabela’s answer to ZZ Top (aka The Robertson family) pulled out their hunting rifles and shot down their show Duck Dynasty after 5 years and 130 episodes. All of the ducks in Louisiana did a celebratory conga line…. until they realized that only the show is gone, not the family and so they flew for their lives while trying to remember to not get horny when Phil Robertson blows his family’s mating call whistle.

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