Back in the 90s, all Julia Roberts had to do was fart on camera (or just do Mona Lisa Smile…same difference), and a production studio would fork over $20 million. These days, Hollywood is pinching pennies, realizing audiences care more about the CGI than who is starring in a flick. Why pay for Meryl Streep when you can just hire one of those Westworld robots? It doesn’t mean you’re going to see The Rock and other actors in line at the soup kitchen…it just means they’re paid differently (aka back-end deals). Or, if you’re him, you just say you won’t Tweet about the movie you have opening on Friday unless the studio forks over a cool million dollars. Continue reading
If it looks like a doddering old pepaw, and makes weird, questionable remarks like a doddering old pepaw, then guess what. It’s a doddering old peeaw! That’s the lesson learned from Burt Reynolds’ attempt to explain his “say what now?” comments to Hoda Kotb on Today about her purdy mouth and his love of a 7-year-old Sally Field who he didn’t actually meet until she was 31.
Burt Reynolds is 82 years old. Some people in their 80s are still sharper than the spines on a cat’s dick and have got the energy of youngins a third of their age (see: Rita Moreno and Jane Fonda). But other people in their 80s, have the energy of a corpse that’s been reanimated using half-depleted AA batteries found in your grandma’s freezer, and say weird shit. Burt Reynolds falls into the second category.
Burt was on Today this morning, and when he wasn’t becoming Subway Jared’s new favorite actor, he was hypnotized by Hoda Kotb’s anti-Brielle Bermann lips.
Burt Reynolds has been on a roll while promoting his new memoir. Burt committed a sin by talking shit about Boogie Nights, the gift of a movie that gave-us a coked up Julianne Moore talking about taking a pottery class and now he’s brought a load of outrage on top of his polyester toupee by saying that Charlie Sheen deserved to get HIV.
Burt’s 79-year-old ass was on the British talk show Loose Women (via People) on Monday and he was asked about Charlie Sheen’s HIV diagnosis. I remember during the whole AIDS PANIC!!! era of the 80s, The National Enquirer or some shit like that said that Burt had AIDS and he later said he was afraid that rumor was going to ruin his career. You’d think that’d make Pepaw Burt a little bit sensitive, but nope. Burt Reynolds went full Burt Reynolds. Those rose-colored glasses are strictly for show. The alleged wife beater said this:
“He’s handled it badly, I think. His father is a very, very decent man and a dear friend of mine. I feel bad for him but Charlie, I don’t feel bad for him. He’s getting what he deserves. If you’re going to misbehave like that, they’re going to get you.
He misbehaved badly. Very badly. But you know, when you’re that age, it’s tough. All those things are coming at you and it’s difficult.”
Many people on Twitter called Burt ignorant and said he was pushing a stigma, and even if Burt knew what a Twitter was, he wouldn’t give a fuck. Burt wears colored glasses on a day that isn’t October 31st, so he obviously doesn’t care. If you shook his stache out, you wouldn’t find one fuck in there. Burt is your grouchy grandpa who’d tell you that you deserved it and to quit crying when you crack your skull open on the headboard while jumping on the bed. “Just pour some ammonia on your head and go get me a hard candy” is probably what he’d say.
And here’s Pepaw Burt out in London: