Category: Bryan Randall
Sandra Bullock Went On “Red Table Talk” To Talk About The Challenges of Coparenting And Transracial Adoption
I used to think the ballsiest thing Sandra Bullock ever did was to threaten her reputation as America’s Sweetheart by marrying a probable “history buff.“ But she just took another big risk by appearing on Red Table Talk flanked by three distractively stunning women. Personally, I would never let my face be seen within an inch of Willow Smith and Jada Pinket Smith’s mugs, not when they are both bald-headed and lashed up. Nuh uh, I can look like a forgotten root cellar rutabaga all on my own, thank you very much. I do not need the contrast. But Sandy’s got a movie she needs us to watch so she put her glam squad to work and talked about surprising her (new at the time) boyfriend, photographer Bryan Randall, with the news that she was about to bring home a second child. With Willow just sitting there, barely a stitch of makeup and positively glowing. That is why, despite having once risked contracting every STD known to man or ape, Sandy speaking about transracial adoption and the challenges of co-parenting on Facebook Watch, might be the bravest thing Sandy has ever done. Couldn’t be me.
Sandra Bullock Adopted Another Kid After All
A couple of months ago, Radar said that America’s former sweetheart (1995-2009) Sandra Bullock adopted a little girl. At the time, Sandy B was really careful with her words and only said that she has one adopted child, her 5-year-old son Louis, living in her house and if she adopted another one, she’d tell everyone. Well, now she’s telling everyone on the cover of People that she has adopted a 3-year-old named Laila (pronounced Lila). Laila was in foster care in Louisiana. Laila & Louis sounds like the name of a local morning talk show where Louis says crazy, zany things and Laila always rolls her eyes at him while sipping from a mug of tea. I hope that morning talk show happens and I hope they take Live! With Kelly And Michael out!
Sandra Bullock May Have Adopted Another Baby
(Side note: A few months ago, Minions crap was absolutely everywhere and I couldn’t escape it. Everything at the grocery store was covered with their ugly faces and that trailer would play all the time. I couldn’t wait for the movie to come out so I wouldn’t have to see their Twinkie dick looking asses anymore. Today, while looking for a picture for this post, I scrolled through ten pages on the photo agency’s website and automatically picked this one without thinking. Those evil Minions have obviously infiltrated my brain. I can rid them from my brain by smoking more weed, right? Right. I’m sure that’s what WebMD says.)
Sandra Bullock must have read about Charlize Theron adopting another kid and said, “Oh no you didn’t, bitch. I better adopt another one too.” That’s exactly what happened. Radar says that Sandra recently made her 5-year-old son Louis a brother by adopting a baby girl. Sandra finalized the adoption and has already brought her daughter home to L.A. Apparently, Sandra’s dog shit vigilante/photographer boyfriend of less than a year Bryan Randall has already moved in with her. A source tells Radar that Bryan is going to help raise Sandra’s new baby:
“Sandra’s made it quite clear to Bryan from the start that she’s looking for a husband to raise kids with. She had the paperwork ready to adopt another child but really wanted to do it with the right man, and Bryan’s been checking every box so far. Everyone knows how terrified she is of giving her heart away again, but Bryan’s incredibly supportive, loving and a brilliant father figure. Sandra says he’s perfect.”
Perfect? Hmmm… We all know how Bryan feels about dog caca. I wonder how he feels about baby caca. It’s going to be really awkward and strange when Sandra’s daughter accidentally gets a little poop on the floor and Bryan picks it up and smears it all over that child’s crib while screaming, “Pick up your fucking baby shit!” That may make Sandra say, “Err, you know that heart I gave away to you, can I have it back?“
Sandra Bullock’s New Piece Is A Dog Shit Vigilante
We as a people disagree on pretty much everything, but I think we can all agree that abandoned dog shit is the worst. It drives people crazy and I’ve seen tricks nearly throw punches over it. I don’t like that mess either, because every time I walk my dog and he sees a pile of unclaimed doggy dumps on the sidewalk, he has to try to sniff it and I don’t want to see that nasty scat queen side of him. Not yesterday. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. But as much as everyone hates un-picked up pooch caca, nobody hates it as much as Sandra Bullock’s new piece Bryan Randall. If he sees you not picking some up, he’ll pick it up for you and then smear it all over your door.