When I was but a lad (like 13 maybe?), I checked out Helter Skelter from the local library (remember those?) one summer and gave myself the permanent terrors. I had to read the book on our front porch in direct sunlight because of hippie chicks with large knives creepy-crawling into houses and murdering everyone for silly reasons decades before. To this day, I have a recurring nightmare where I’m alone at night in my childhood home and the doorbell rings and I open it to find a grinning and (for some odd reason that I assure you is not about lust) naked Charlie Manson asking if he can come in. *horrified scream*
America’s premier boogeyman died the other day, but the terror lives on. As evidenced by the probably boring story above, everyone wants to share theirs about how scary he was. Walter White’s no exception! Bryan Cranston tweeted about an encounter he had with Tiny Murder Jesus when Charlie was at the height of his powers lording it over the flower waifs at Spahn Ranch. Continue reading
When most of us heard how Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey are two of Hollywood’s biggest turds with their predatory behavior, most of us were happy with the idea of shipping them off to a jackass colony to never be seen or heard of again and – most importantly – give Robin Wright the fictional throne of America she has always deserved! But not everyone thinks it should be over. Enter Bryan Cranston. Continue reading
Some people in Hollywood have been accused of really bad things and continued on to have extremely successful careers, like Woody Allen. Others get accused of bad things and it’s all downhill for them. Kevin Spacey, for example. It was recently revealed he’s allegedly a huge creep and he promptly discovered himself without an agent, a publicist, and incoming paychecks. But will Kevin Spacey one day bounce back, perhaps performing in a one-man show called Choosing To Live As A Gay Man? If Bryan Cranston is Kevin Spacey’s Ask Zandar, the answer is: probably not.
Two years after Nicole Kidman
finally escaped the clutches of Scientology divorced Tom Cruise, there was a rumor that she was dating Lenny Kravitz. This was back in 2003 before famous people filled their thirst quotient by debuting their relationships on social media. Nicole never really confirmed that she got with Lenny, but they were papped together a bunch of times and people just put two and two together. Now we know their relationship was a lot more serious than just some T9 booty call texts sent on a Motorola Razr at 1am.
The continuous PEOTUS (that acronym just sounds right) mocking on Saturday Night Live keeps on going. This week’s political hilarity that was Donald Trump electing agency heads to seemingly destroy said agencies from within hasn’t escaped notice. Last night’s Trump-effing featured Bryan Cranston reprising his Emmy-winning role as Walter White from Breaking Bad. The sketch deals with Trump hiring Walter to head up the DEA. It’s funny because PEOTUS recently hired a climate change denier to lead the Environmental Protection Agency. Ok, it’s not that funny. Can we just hurtle into the sun now?
Watch the glorious return of Walter White below.
Bryan Cranston has recently added his name to the long list of famous Americans who claim they will pack up their stuff and migrate north to Canada if armpit cyst Donald Trump becomes President of the United States next week.