Category: Britney Spears

Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears Forgetting What City She Was Performing In

August 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Britney Spears had a “Durh, where did I just fly five-hours in a private jet to?” moment while performing in the UK for her tour. While she was in Brighton putting on a hugely gay performance for their Pride celebrations, no one seemed to have informed Britney of that. In her defense, she focuses on memorizing her complex arm-waving choreography and doesn’t have space in that head for petty information such as “cities“. And well, Brit Brit probably never knows where she is, unless she’s in a Starbucks.  Continue reading

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Kevin Federline Thinks Britney Spears Is Pulling Some Famous Celebrity Behavior In Their Child Support Fight

July 31, 2018 / Posted by:

Kevin Federline decided 2018 was going to be the year of the fat wallet by demanding more child support money from his ex-wife Britney Spears. Ever since he made his first request, he’s been putting in a ton of work at getting that cash. This might be the most work K-Fed has done in a year. It was rumored a few days ago that Brit’s dad Jamie Spears is about to give K-Fed more money. The only problem is, K-Fed wants to deal with Britney, and he recently claimed that it’s hard to do that when she’s acting like she’s too famous for court.

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Britney Spears May Soon Be Engaged to Her Boyfriend Sam Asghari

July 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Technically, I should’ve posted a picture of Britney Spears and her boyfriend Sam Asghari together, but I think we are all deserving of a hard earned world break, so I’m just gonna leave this photo of YMCA construction man Sam here and let it marinate in your down low parts.

Because Britney Spears hasn’t learned anything from not being able to shake Kevin Federline‘s annoying ass from her life after they were married for only three years, US Weekly is certain that Brit Brit is about to make her hot model/fitness instructor boyfriend Mr. Brit Brit Spears the Third. Brit and Sam could soon be hitched to each other’s well toned and well baby oiled parts for all of eternity (er, or until they get sick of grinding on each other’s said parts), as an engagement announcement is expected within the next year.  Continue reading

Daddy Spears Is Trying To Give KFed More Child Support Money

July 28, 2018 / Posted by:

The child support drama/dramamine between Kevin Federline and Britney Spears could soon be coming to an end if Daddy Spears has his way. KFed’s been hitting the court stroll trying to get more cash for the two sons he sired with Brit Brit, but while Brit Brit is having none of it, Daddy Spears has apparently been angling a side deal with KFed to make him go away. Please, Daddy Spears, make him go away!

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Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears Singing Live On “The Tonight Show”

July 27, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s a Friday, so your ass better be parked on the couch clearing through your DVR and occasionally moving your laptop mouse to give the impression to your boss you’re actually working from home. It’s a good think you’re seated (and if you aren’t, please do so now) because Britney Spears went on Jimmy Fallon’s show last night to do that “Ew!” sketch that should have left us the same time the Obamas left the White House. Jimmy must have blackmail on everyone who is remotely been famous because he’s even swindled Michelle Obama into that shit, and Brit Brit was no different. At least she juiced up some of her appearance with her live vocals. Wait, what??

Britney played Abby, the camp BFF of Jimmy’s Sara, and I’m sure the Emmy committee lost its panties over Brit Brit’s natural abilities reading for cue cards and giving delayed responses to Jimmy. Sorry, Meryl Streep! Better luck at next year’s awards! Anyway, Jimmy teed up a little bit of the Our Lady Of Cheese Grits songbook by saying “I’m not a girl” at the 2:08 mark, and Britney crooning, “noooot yet a woman.” I’d be lying if I didn’t tear up a little bit thinking of my childhood era of sexual confusion, mild obesity, and denim-clad Britney. I just hope there’s a follow-up with the camp theme where Jimmy’s Sara complains, “Abby, why did you put my bra in the freezer again?!”  And Sara can respond, “Oops I did it again!” But we’ll have to stop there because anything more than five words, and we’ll exhaust those vocal chords!

Pic: YouTube

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