First the likes of Adele and Celine Dion learn that Katie Price is back in the live singing game, and now they’re learning that Britney Spears is singing live during her shows. This is probably the real reason why Adele might retire from touring. How can she ever compete with the live vocal stylings of the Cheetos chanteuse?
I’m using an old picture of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton as wax figures, because Lindsay has a better chance of getting Paris’ wax figure to show up to her party than the real thing. But what’s the difference really.
“That’s not a picture of Sasha Velour.” – all of the Sasha Velour fans who watched her lip-synch on the RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9 finale.
Anyone who has seen a live Britney Spears performance has said for decades that the day she actually sings during a show is the day that water becomes dry, bears stop shitting in the woods and the Pope converts to Judaism. I went to see Brit Brit’s show in Las Vegas and either she was lip-synching or her vocal cords are time travelers who can go back to the 90s, because her voice sounded a lot like her auto-tuned voice on her old albums. But Brit wants all of the hating bitches to stop saying she doesn’t sing live, because she does. I’m gonna go ahead and type “GIRL, STOP” in all-caps so you don’t have to.
According to a report from security firm ESET (via The Independent), a Russian hacking group named Turla committed digital deviousness by using Britney Spears’ Instagram page to spread malware. On February 6th, a user named asmith2155 left a comment on a picture of Britney in a bodysuit that read: “#2hot make loved to her, uupss #Hot #X.” The user was actually a Turla hacker, and the comment contained a link to a malicious Firefox extension designed to steal people’s data. Basically, it was a virus. No word on whether or not Britney responded to the hacking news like this:
Fortunately, only 17 people clicked on that link. ESET calls that number “quite low” (sorry Turla!), and thinks it might have been a test hack. Or maybe nobody wanted to learn more about asmith2155’s 2hot tips for making loved. The picture is still up, but the comment has been deleted. Those hackers might want to work a little harder on their bait next time. That comment was filled with spelling errors, nonsense hashtags, and random empty flattery. If you want more than 17 clicks, you’ve got to at least attempt to look a little different than most of the other fan comments on a Britney pic.
Open Post: Hosted By Brit Brit Proving She Doesn’t Need A Silly Mic To Fill An Arena With Her Organic Live Vocals
Celebrated live singer Brit Brit Spears is currently gracing Asia with her authentic nightingale singing skills, and she showed the world that she’s not only a frugal queen by reusing her costumes and sets, but she’s also an environmentally friendly green queen by saving electric bills. Brit Brit’s mic never has to be turned on since she’s capable of touching the ears in the back row of an arena with her crisp and pure vocals.
During her show at the Yoyogi National Gymnasium in Tokyo over the weekend, Brit Brit did “I’m A Slave 4 U” on a pole while wearing the kind of mask that Liberace would wear if he played Jason in Friday the 13th. Brit must’ve decided that her mask was getting in the way of giving the people her all, because she tried to rip it off. For a few seconds, she tussled with that mask as thought it was another squirrel who mistook her weave for its nest. While the fight between Brit and the bedazzled mask went on, her raw vocals didn’t waver once! Celine Dion could never ever.
And what’s truly amazing is that Britney circa 2017 sounds exactly the same as Britney circa (insert the date when the post-production crew finished putting the layers of robotic effects on her vocals for Slave 4 U).
To celebrate the start of Gay Pride Month, Billboard asked A-list superstars of the music world like CupcakKe, Cousin Dionne Warwick, Celine Dion, Belinda Carlisle and Liza to write a love letter to the LGBTQ community. Brit Brit Spears wrote words of sweetness too, and since she (or Daddy Spears), knew that hater whores like myself would say there’s no way she wrote that letter herself, she gave Billboard receipts.