The show must go on – even if it means replacing the Gloved One with Our Lady of Cheetos. Ever since Leaving Neverland came out, radio stations and many ears have been thinking twice before playing Thriller or any other Michael Jackson album. The documentary details long-time sexual abuse allegations against MJ that were pretty horrific, so it seems now isn’t the best time to ask people to shell out Benjis on TicketMaster to hear old King of Pop hits. Chicago, you’re in luck! You get Britney Spears instead!
And then there was one. Britney Spears didn’t have the easiest 2008 (and not just because of that car ride Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan can’t stop blabbing about), and that ended up with her dad, Jamie Spears, and a lawyer, Andrew Wallet, in charge of just about everything in Britney’s day-to-day operations. Andrew has recently moved to resign from his post, leaving Jamie in charge.
Open Post: Hosted By Paris Hilton Recreating The Britney Spears Car Photo That Lindsay Lohan “Crashed”
Paris Hilton doesn’t exactly have the range to headline a Las Vegas residency, and she’s too prim and proper (cough) to open a bar and use its train wreck employees for a reality show – that’s for lowlife like her Aunt Kyle Richards’ frenemy Lisa Vanderpump! Instead, she’ll just go back to her own strengths: media whoring! Back in the glory days of being famous for just being a THOT at the Kitson cash register, there was a certain 2006 car ride with Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears that paid for every paparazzi in the parking lot’s mortgage payment for three years. Paris has gone on to say LiLo crashed the car ride (LiLo denies this), so now she recreated the car ride with what it seems like is who she would have wanted to tag along?
Lindsay Lohan is really out here trying to shill her new reality show Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club so she stopped by Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show to talk to him and promote it. Since Andy is the biggest shit-stirrer this side of a toilet flush, he brought up how Paris Hilton dragged Lindsay on his show last month. Paris said that Lindsay crashed her night out with Britney Spears in 2006 and that’s how the “iconic” (was it?) photo called “Three Wrecks Sitting In A Car” was created. Well, Lindsay is here to defend her “good” name (is it?).
Next month, the Las Vegas Strip was supposed to get another serving of pork rinds-encrusted TALENT when Britney Spears boggled audience minds with her raw vocals (not a typo, more on that later) and impeccable “flip that weave while walking back and forth” dance moves, but that’s not going to happen anymore. No, Brit Brit isn’t hanging up her tiara as the Princess of Las Vegas to finally fulfill her dream of quitting the business of show to run a cheetah milking farm that produces Cheetos (nobody tell Brit Brit that you can’t milk a Cheeto out of a cheetah). Brit Brit is taking a work hiatus for a sad reason, she’s going to help out her dad/one of the heads of her conservatorship, Daddy Spears, because his health is in a bad way.
I’ve been seeing a little too much of Paris Hilton these days and it makes me wonder if perhaps I’ve woken up in 2006 when her stale gaze and trademarked vocal fry terrorized us all on a daily basis. For whatever reason she keeps popping up like Punxsutawney Phil which means we all must be living inside of some kind of fame whore reboot of Groundhog Day remake with a shittier cast. And since we’re on the subject of 2006, Paris was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show last week and talked about that trinity of mess picture of her with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan as they were crammed into a tiny sports car like drunken circus clowns outside of the Beverly Hills Hotel.