I’m sure we’ve all done something for money that we regret. Luckily for us normals, whatever it was is probably safely filed away somewhere in the back of our minds under “Let’s Never Speak Of This Again”. Unluckily for academy award winning actress Brie Larson, her questionable transaction is about to be released in theaters and On Demand tomorrow.
Back in 2013, well before she won her Oscar for Room, even before she was on anybody’s radar with Short Term 12, Brie made a “Bollywood” musical called Basmati Blues about a scientist named Linda who develops a super strain of rice and gets sent to India by her evil corporate boss (who is named Gurgon (!), played by Donald Sutherland) for… well for reasons. After sitting on the shelf for 5 years, Brie probably thought she was in the clear but then here comes 2018 like “surprise, bitch!”.
A fresh glimpse of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth is probably the best part of this story. Marvel took a huge infodump (how nicely put) at San Diego Comic-Con this weekend. They debuted the new trailer for Thor: Ragnarok (aka Chris Hemsworth Has A Better Haircut And Remains A Thirst Trap), showed the first image of Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, and announced who would be playing the part of the FIRST Wasp in Ant-Man and the Wasp. It’s kind of a big name. I hope she sings “Cool Rider” in the movie to distract me, because I can only take so much of Paul Rudd’s “I’ll always be funnier than you” smirk. (And if you figured out who the actress in question is because of that song title, we are friends til’ the end.) Continue reading
Brie Larson won a lot of Best Actress awards last year for Room, so this year she got the job of presenting Best Actor at a few award shows. Casey Affleck won many Best Actor awards this year. Brie had to say Casey’s name twice and when she did, she did it with the least amount of enthusiasm as possible. I’ve seen STD results delivered with more oomph. Brie’s excitement level was set to “I’d Rather Be At The DMV On A Monday Morning” when she handed Casey the Golden Globe, and she didn’t clap when he won the Oscar. Brie meant to do all that.
And so does the face on the guy behind Denzel Washington.
When Casey Affleck won the Best Actor Oscar last night, a huge chunk of the audience stood up for him. Mel Gibson was probably thinking to himself, “Oh, sure, I get blacklisted from Hollywood for years for hating Jews, terrorizing women and being an overall demon piece of shit and yet you stand up for Casey Affleck’s creeper ass?” Actually, Mel Gibson would never think that. Mad Mel’s not that self-aware.
Emma Stone really didn’t have much to say about that junior prom princess dress when she reached Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last night. The face she’s making in that picture above kind of says all that needs to be said, really. It’s very “Please direct all Worst Dressed lists to my stylist.”
Room actress (and The Clash at Demonhead lead singer) Brie Larson was confirmed to play Captain Marvel in Marvel’s first solo female superhero movie yesterday at San Diego Comic-Con. Upon hearing this, Scarlett Johansson donned her Black Widow catsuit before showing up at Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige’s house to inquire, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You can watch Larson’s entrance to Marvel’s Hall H event below. Deadline reports that she’s been rumored to be Marvel’s #1 pick to play Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel’s civilian name) since earlier this summer.
— Fandango (@Fandango) July 24, 2016
Oooh, here’s the part where I get to utilize my insane comic book knowledge that prevented me from getting laid in high school! Marvel created Carol Danvers in 1968 as a supporting character to the male Captain Marvel. She got hit by a beam or something and became Ms. Marvel! She was sort of Marvel’s attempt to create the first “feminist” heroine. That translates as a female comic book character who didn’t defer to her boyfriend while constantly calling him “darling” and was allowed to punch things. Ms. Marvel got her own title in 1977, but it didn’t last very long. She was pretty minor until she joined the Avengers in the 80s and has since grown in popularity. They killed the male Captain Marvel off (with cancer, which isn’t very comic-booky) and she finally inherited the name (and a bomb-ass jumpsuit) in 2012. The flick is scheduled to come out in March of 2019. Jesus, I’m going to be piddling into my Depends and Marvel will still be turning the crank on the money machine.
Oscar-winner Brie’s talented so I’m sure she can pull this off. Luckily, she won’t have to wear Captain Marvel’s old costume which consisted of a leotard and the sluttiest superhero boots you’ve ever seen. Check them out in the gallery, along with some of Carol Danver’s other looks over the years (yes, she briefly had a star for a head), and shots of Brie looking decidely un-superheroic while shooting The Glass Castle in Montreal this past week. She looks like her trailer’s septic tank just glitched and she’s having to trudge over to the neighbors to use theirs.