William Bradley Pitt is the Ja Rule of the Lower Ninth Ward and William Bradley’s name will forever be associated with the Make It Right foundation, no matter what he does moving forward. And much like Ja’s Frye Festival did, MIR is going down in flames. Page Six reports that the foundation is essentially broke, hasn’t built a new house since 2016, hasn’t updated its website since 2015, and last publicly posted its tax filings in 2014. Brad’s been pointing fingers and trying to get his name removed from a class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of MIR homeowners who wish being presented with a nasty cheese sandwich was the least of their worries. They are suing because the MIR homes they bought with their hard-earned money are garbage. And potentially life threatening.
Yeah, it’s The Sun but it’s Sunday, so let’s run with it, shall we? Charlize Theron and Brad Pitt are reportedly a thing now, after “kindling their romance over the Christmas period.” And they were supposedly introduced by Charlize’s craggy and cranky ex Sean Penn! Sure, you’re slightly shaking your head at how this one is total bullshit by my, wouldn’t it make the veins in Angie’s forehead pop with rage if it was true? Charlize doesn’t waste time trying to cultivate a saintly image at the UN! She shills perfume in beautifully shot television ads, makes movies, and lives her damn life. We like that in a screen goddess!
Now that her divorce with Brad Pitt has moved past the custody phase (I think? Like I don’t want to jinx her), Angelina Jolie is starting the follow-up struggle: recovering her tattered public persona. It’s hard to come out of a malicious divorce without looking like an evil bitch, and considering how many “sources” were popping up to spill some tea, Angie definitely didn’t. But here she is talking about her kids, so how can she be a bitch?
You know who’s a really great father and super nice guy who’s just basically awesome? William Bradley Pitt. He really is the best. Hey, hey, hey, eyes over here! Focus! Brad’s practically never even been to New Orleans. He’s nothing but a devoted father who recently had “several” of his kids over to his house for a fun sleepover to celebrate his birthday! Does that sound like a guy who would be involved in any shady goings-on? Not on your life!
Last week, the people of the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans really laid into Our Patron Saint of Being Uber Hot In The 90s, Brad Pitt, for the crappy houses his Make It Right Foundation made. Well, it’s a new week and so that means new legal proceedings, because even though Brad just came off a messy legal battle with his ex, Angelina Jolie which is kind of over, the people of New Orleans want him to once again feel the high-octane thrill of being raked through the coals of the legal system.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may be stitching up the gaping wounds they gave each other during their wreck of a custody fight, which has wrapped up (for now), but those damn sources are still talking and adding more layers of messiness to this tragic saga that already has more messy layers than me walking to my mailbox in 60 degree weather (moving back to California gave me lizard veins and skin, okay?). A source tells UsWeekly (via The Daily Mail) that Brad thinks his relationship with two of his sons, 17-year-old Maddox and 15-year-old Pax, is broken, and that could be from something Angie said to Pax. The source claims that Angie told Pax that Brad never wanted to adopt him. “Aaaah, I always knew that halo was a knock-off bought at a pawn shop and you were secretly one of us,” said Satan proudly to his fellow fallen angel Angie.