Gird your loins: Idris Elba may soon be making your butthole quiver while wearing a perfectly-pressed suit and shooting bad guys as the one and only James Bond 007. Sorry Harry Styles, but honestly Bond doesn’t wear any floral-printed suits so he’d probably hate it anyway.
Daniel Craig’s last go round (definitely, maybe, probably, I’m sure, unless it isn’t in which case next to last at most but probably last, for sure) as James Bond will be directed by Danny Boyle and, according to Page Six, it will feature a Bond girl who is more than the sum of her parts (traditionally that adds up to tits, ass and a confusing pan-european accent). Danny recently said he wants to make a Bond girl who is compatible with the “modern world”.
Over the years, we’ve heard talk of the possibility of a Black Bond (Idris Elba), we’ve heard talk of a Thirsty Bond (Tom Hiddleston) and there was even talk of an Aussie Bond (Hugh Jackman)! But is the world ready for talk of a Baby Bond? While Flinty Bond (Daniel Craig) still has the role on lockdown for one last go-round, one of the editors on Spectre, Lee Smith, had the brilliant idea that Harry Styles should be the next James Bond, reports The Daily Mail.
While Tom Hiddleston is off staring into a bathroom mirror and tearily trying to convince his reflection that he totally could have been James Bond, Hugh Jackman legitimately could have been Bond. But according to Hugh, he turned it down.
Here you go, Tom Hiddleston – it’s my treat to you: the perfect picture to print out and tape to your mirror if you’re the type who likes to shout out their emotions at physical symbols of their sadness. Well, you know, when you’re done screaming at that cursed I Heart TS tank top, of course.
Page Six says that the seemingly never-ending search for the new James Bond is over and it’s….Daniel Craig. Congratulations, Daniel Craig, you did it!