Category: Bond Shit

Danny Boyle Will Direct The Next “James Bond” Movie And Promises A Bond Girl Fit For The #Metoo Era

March 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Daniel Craig’s last go round (definitely, maybe, probably, I’m sure, unless it isn’t in which case next to last at most but probably last, for sure) as James Bond will be directed by Danny Boyle and, according to Page Six, it will feature a Bond girl who is more than the sum of her parts (traditionally that adds up to tits, ass and a confusing pan-european accent). Danny recently said he wants to make a Bond girl who is compatible with the “modern world”.

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Harry Styles’ Name Has Come Up As Another Choice For The Next Bond

January 23, 2018 / Posted by:

Over the years, we’ve heard talk of the possibility of a Black Bond (Idris Elba), we’ve heard talk of a Thirsty Bond (Tom Hiddleston) and there was even talk of an Aussie Bond (Hugh Jackman)! But is the world ready for talk of a Baby Bond? While Flinty Bond (Daniel Craig) still has the role on lockdown for one last go-round, one of the editors on Spectre, Lee Smith, had the brilliant idea that Harry Styles should be the next James Bond, reports The Daily Mail.

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Sony Is Throwing $150 Million At Daniel Craig To Play James Bond Again

September 6, 2016 / Posted by:

Last week, the always-truthful British literary periodical known as The Sun said that Bond producer Barbara Broccoli and the head bitches at Sony came up with a short list of actors who could possibly replace STAINS eyeball twin Daniel Craig if he really decides to hang up his tux for good. Idris Elba, Tom Hiddleston, Michael Fassbender, Luke Evans, Aidan Turner, Charlie Hunnam, James Norton and Billy Elliot were all on that short list, according to The Sun. But well, the always-truthful American literary periodical known as Radar claims that the head bitches at Sony aren’t even thinking about touching that short list and are instead sending dump trucks full of gold bars to Daniel Craig’s house, because they really, really want him back. Those around Tom Hiddleston better brace their eardrums, because I have a feeling that the internal scream he’s been holding in for months is going to come shooting out of his mouth when he finds out that he dad-danced at a Selena Gomez concert and played patty cake with Taylor Swift’s cats for NOTHING!

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