Category: Bon Jovi

And Several Mid-To-Late 30-Something Women Just Creamed Their Hanes Her Ways

December 24, 2011 / Posted by:

I don’t know about you, but if I was a junior high school girl circa 1987, I would be experiencing my first downtown moistening after seeing these pics of New Jersey’s finest – Jon Bon Jovi – showing off the bod. Can you tell I’ve had an entire bottle of champagne, two White Russians, and three shots of Bailey’s in CHOCOLATE CUPS YOU CAN EAT? It’s like a fat drunk’s greatest fantasy – a shot of booze YOU JUST STUFF IN YOUR MAW. And to the commentator who snarked that Boston can’t be a drinking city because we don’t have a legal happy hour – think again, chief. We work around that shit.

Jon is shooting us down in a blaze of glory by showing off his middle-aged millionaire bod on the beach at St. Bart’s. Rich people have a lot of time on their hands. So much time that photographing kelp is a cherished pastime. Seriously, all Jon Bon has to do is tour every five years and shit out an album with a passable adult contemporary single and money falls on his face. That’s a hot job.

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From The Department Of Random Ass Shit

November 7, 2010 / Posted by:

At the 2:00 mark in the video above, RiRi glides out onto the stage to sing “Livin’ On A Prayer” with Bon Jovi. This happened at a pre-MTV EMAs concert in Madrid last night. I’m not going to ask “Whose idea? What kind of drugs? Or why was is this necessary in life?“, because I’m actually enjoying this.

From Jon Bon Jovi’s nip slip teases to RiRi’sYour momma on low-grade E and orange juice” moves (TAKE THAT, DEMI MOORE!), this is just the kind of mess I needed today. And RiRi has scored some extra credit for dressing like one of Dracula’s third-tier concubines. That shit she’s wearing is definitely from Fredrick’s of Hollywood’s Illuminati Sweetheart collection.

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