Category: Blind Items

Blind Item: I Guess, You Guess

April 2, 2014 / Posted by:

At The Cut, a woman who worked as a personal assistant to a Hollywood actress type wrote about the entire nightmare of an experience and says that by the end of it she was an empty shell of herself since her soul seeped out of her body. So basically, she felt like you after any given work day. The live-in assistant wouldn’t give up her name and wouldn’t name the mess she worked for. The assistant thought she was going to be a production assistant for the celebrity, but quickly learned she was going to be a beck-and-call bitch.

Most of the shit that the celebrity made her do seems like normal PA crap to me: have Starbucks on her bedside table every morning, watch the news at 5am so she could tell the famous ho what’s going on in the world, check the book reviews, buy the best-reviewed books at Barnes & Nobles, get her food, print out her schedule, read scripts with her, blah blah blah. It’s not like she was changing her tampons for her or anything. The assistant lived with her, so she really didn’t have any time to herself and she’d stay at the actress’ nanny’s apartment when she wanted to get away. But the crazy bitch of an actress did make her do some fucked-up shit. The actress made the assistant break up with her boyfriend, because she didn’t want to do it and she snuck weed into her assistant’s travel bag. The assistant writes that she used to pick up the actress’ “herbs” and she didn’t find out until later she was actually picking up her good shit. She writes this about the time she was a drug mule and didn’t know it.

Once when we went to a film festival, I flew out early so I could lay out the clothes she would wear. When she got in, she was like, “Did you get my stuff?” What stuff? “Oh, I put some stuff in your bag.” Oh my God, I went on a fucking plane carrying drugs for you? I could have gotten arrested! You could have at least told me so I knew what I was doing, and put it in the bag that’s not checked! What are you doing to me? At least ask and say, “Hey, do you mind carrying for me?” Not that I would have said no, but at least I could have put it in a concealed location.

The assistant finally quit that bitch, because the actress promised to take her to some international film festival. The actress later took back the invitation, because she wanted to go with her boyfriend instead. I know, unforgivable right (served on a bed of lukewarm sarcasm).

I know you’re all going to guess BETTY WHITE!!!, but here’s some clues anyway:

- The actress is a single mom.

- The actress loves the good shit.

- The dude that the assistant had to break up with for the actress is a “very prominent actor” that was in a movie with the actress.

- One time the assistant was with her family and the actress called her up and made her leave them. The actress wanted the assistant to drive her to therapy. Therapy turned out to be a palm reader that the actress got a coupon for in a gift bag at an awards show.

- The actress took meds for an STD. The assistant later called the ex-boyfriend to tell him the actress has an STD.

And that’s that!

The assistant doesn’t say when all this shit went down, so I don’t know if the actress is still a single mom. Here’s a not-totally complete list of actresses who were single moms at one point: Kate Hudson, Minnie Driver, Sandra Bullock, January Jones, Charlize Theron, Michelle Williams, Sofia Vergara, Denise Richards, Jenny McCarthy, Mary-Louise Parker and Sharon Stone. I don’t think it’s January Jones, because she’s not going to any international film festivals and she gets high from snorting the fears of others around her, not from smoking the good shit.

I’ll guess Kate Hudson? But really, it’s probably Betty White.

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

April 1, 2014 / Posted by:

This A list male designer thinks things are different this time around and that his latest barely out of teens male model really loves the designer and not the $25K a month allowance that the designer is paying him each month. Plus the apartment rent. (CDAN)

Calvin Klein?

So if you’re a barely legal twink who’s thinking of going to nursing school, because one day you want to get a job at a retirement home where you’ll wipe up diarrhea crust off of old, wrinkly asses and spoon feed mushed rutabaga into the mouths of pepaws, hold off! While you still have the face of a virgin fetus, move to NYC and bat your eyes at Calvin Klein so he’ll hire you as his kept bitch. You’ll still feel professionally fulfilled since you’ll spend most of your days wiping diarrhea crust off of an old, wrinkly ass and spoon feeding mushed rutabaga into CK’s plastic mouth, but, bitch, you’ll be making $25k a month!

They were both still married when they started secretly seeing each other in 2013.

Since then, they have each separated from their spouses. Those breakups were widely reported in the press.

The spotlight on their personal lives apparently isn’t stopping them from moving forward with their own relationship! In fact, we have two stunning developments to report.

The first: They are moving in together! Yes, already. His house.

Why the rush? That’s the second stunning development: She is three and a half months pregnant with his baby!

Wait until her husband finds out!

BONUS CLUE! The song “Summertime” contains two clues about the expectant parents. (Blind Gossip)

I was going to guess Chris Martin and Miranda Kerr, but this blind item was posted on March 31st and not April 1st. Besides, the clue from the song “Summertime” is probably the lyric “You’re daddy’s rich and your mama’s good-looking.” If the lyric was, “You’re dad’s a cunt and your mama’s good-looking,” then I’d guess this was about Chris Martin and Miranda Kerr. So I’ll guess Miranda Kerr and that Australian billionaire she’s supposedly rubbing her kewpie doll parts on.

This foreign born former A list mostly movie actress who still has A+list name recognition had another meltdown when her A list mostly movie actor husband met up with his girlfriend who is about 40 years younger than him. The actor thought that he had an understanding with his wife about it. Apparently not. (CDAN)

CJZ? And I hope after her meltdown over Michael Douglas’ supposed side trick, she sat on the bed and expressed her feelings by busting out her “malfunctioning animatronic figure” performance of Send in the Clowns.

There’s more than meets the eye to this actor’s sudden and unexpected sobriety. He never had a reputation as a partier, and when he recently announced he’d given up drinking, questions arose. Why did he quit? The inside story is that our seemingly straight leading man was in the habit of getting liquored up and cruising Craigslist for twinky young guys. One of these playful hustlers caused a loud incident in which police were almost called. He paid the kid to keep quiet and that close call is the reason he stopped drinking. (Janet Charlton)

B. Coop. Exhibit: A?

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

March 27, 2014 / Posted by:

This B list mostly television actor who always talks about his family values and doesn’t take roles that compromise his values was at a strip club in Tijuana this weekend. I wonder what his wife thinks about that. (CDAN)

I don’t think the tip of Kirk Cameron’s fingers have even come close to touching the bottom of the B-list, but if there’s a God and that God is annoyed by Kirk Cameron’s sanctimonious shit as much as we are, this blind item is about him. And please let our eyes be gifted with a picture of the most annoying Cameron (which is saying a lot, see: Candace Cameron and Cameron Diaz) sitting all by his lonesome in the middle of a Tijuana strip club with nothing but a Subway sandwich on his lap. But you know, he probably wasn’t at a Tijuana strip club. He was at a Tijuana donkey show. Kirk was only there because he thought a “Tijuana donkey show” is a show where they recreate birth of Baby Jesus in the manger.

While hanging out with his baby mama and his harem, this A list everything guy managed to find time to have sex with a pap. Our A lister said he just wanted to do his part for good relations. (CDAN)

Simon Cowell? And I’m guessing the pap did it, because after years of taking pictures of the furry mincemeat pies on his chest, she could no longer resist the urge to drown her face in them.

This Actress wants you to think that she is down to earth, but she is not.

She was at JFK International Airport, waiting for an flight from New York to London, when she had a meltdown over the boarding procedure. She was at the front of the line, but the airline was boarding people with special needs and people with small children first.

Our Actress began yelling at the ticket attendant. This isn’t an exact quote, but pretty close: “But you should have let ME board first! I’m in first class! I need to be let on the airplane first! I can’t board with the rest of these people! It’s too chaotic with small children and people in wheelchairs! I have a first class ticket! Do you understand what that means? That means that I get everything FIRST! I eat first, I drink first, and I board first! That’s what first class means!” (Blind Gossip)

Goopy Paltrow doesn’t want you to think she walks the same earth as you, so I’ll go with America’s Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence?

This male celebrity screwed up and his celebrity wife kicked him to the curb. He has made public statements about wanting her back and claims that he is doing everything possible to be a good and faithful husband.

Ha! Not even close!

Cheater has a secret girlfriend! Let’s talk about her.

She is a college student, which makes her a lot younger than Cheater. Tall girl with long, blonde hair. College Girl is attending school in the United States but is originally from another country. She is not famous.

The couple was set up by a mutual Friend. He has the same profession as Cheater, but is not quite as famous as him. Friend is from the same country as College Girl.

Cheater and College Girl have been quietly and carefully dating for several months now. He is rich, so he flies her out to stay with him wherever he goes.

So the next time you hear Cheater talking so sincerely about how hard he is working to get his wife back… know that he is shedding those crocodile tears right before hopping back into bed with his girlfriend, College Girl! (Blind Gossip)

Robin Thicke. Period. The end. Goodnight.

I was doing some research on a film from back in the day that has come up a few times in the past week. It has come up because the star of the film has some other projects she is plugging now and a lot of the old stories about the movie are resurfacing. There will be a blind about that movie next week. while doing the research though, I saw one of my favorites in the cast list and clicked on her name to see what she is up to now. When I clicked, I had to blink a couple of times because I thought to myself that couldn’t be right. She would never do that. It turns out she would. She is an actress who has literally been around forever, but never looks old. She is considered a mostly television actress and had a nice long run on a hit cable television show that ended not that long ago. She is known though for something much more important in history. I consider her to be the first “it girl.” The first time that term may have been used. That is a big honor. Anyway, she has a secret that she only shared with a few people who got drunk with her back in the day in the club that will never be duplicated. She says she had sex with one of the most infamous people in history. She had so many details that no one left an encounter with her doubting her story. As far as I know she has not mentioned it to anyone in decades and my source from that club who was there every night and is still friends with her today says she never mentions it. She is afraid of the damage it might cause her career now. So, that is what makes what she is doing now, so damn interesting.(CDAN)

The club is obviously Studio 54, but when I Google “the first it girl” I get Clara Bow and unless Clara Bow is a vampire and has been around this entire time, this isn’t about her. I’ve got nothing and usually when I’ve got nothing, I guess Betty White. So I’ll go with Betty White and John Gotti? Solved it!

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

March 18, 2014 / Posted by:

Despite all the booze and coke and pot and pills and late nights and every other form of destructive behavior you can think of, this A+ list entertainer(singer) is pregnant. That could possibly explain why she has decided to pretend she is domestic for now. (CDAN)

RiRi? If this is made of truthiness and RiRi spawned with Wheelchair Jimmy, that baby is going to be a giant forehead and its eyes are going to be where its ears are supposed to be. So basically it’s going to look like a beluga whale with legs.

He recently had to pause on work obligations citing health reasons. But this superstar didn’t seem all that sick. That’s because the health reasons were related to his wife. She’s been keeping a surprisingly low profile the last few months. Which is unusual because, well, the wife is rather pap-friendly. The immediate speculation was pregnancy and bump-hiding. But there was no bump when she showed up at a major event so it definitely wasn’t pregnancy.

Apparently there’s a painkiller addiction going on. And that’s the reason he couldn’t make it that time. She had an episode and it was serious enough that he had to bail on work and help her out. Not a side of him we see very often – you know, putting her before him. Something she must have enjoyed, though probably for the wrong reasons. Still, she seems to be getting off on his attention. And that’s worrying for those around her too. She’s addicted to the pills and also addicted to his care. (Lainey Gossip)

Coming soon, the Lifetime original movie Addicted To His Care: The Jessica Biel And Justin Timberlake Story starring an overcooked spaghetti noodle that’s been left out on the kitchen counter as Jessica Biel and that teacher from Glee as Justin Timberlake.

Since this famous young performer is frequently in the headlines about both her personal and her professional life, you probably think that you know everything about her.

You don’t.

She wants to be seen as this sexy girl that drives men wild. She still gets lots of publicity thanks to that one very famous boyfriend (who is also in the entertainment industry), and the fact that he intensely and publicly desired her is all she wants you to know about her love life.

Are you ready for the truth?

Half of her intimate encounters… are with women! She is not just experimenting. She is definitely bisexual. And she really should stop sleeping with her female employees, because those girls love to talk! (Blind Gossip)

Selena Gomez? And this is your cue to ask, “Eh, didn’t we already know she was into girls since she was dating Justin Bieber and shit?”

This actor is smart and funny and has been in a couple of the biggest movies of all time. He is not married and finds it easy to pick up women.

This actor is B list. Mostly movies although he has dabbled with some television. His is the face that women love and combine that with the movie roles he has played and women melt. They love the guy. His wife loved him too. She didn’t know at first because he was good at hiding it. At some point in that marriage he gave up though and decided he wanted to be more free. No more marriage. He is giving her everything she wants. He is on a roll with guys right now. After so many years of hiding he is filming in a town right now and in front of the public he still flirts and pretends to love women but he has been going through almost the entire population of gay men in town. (CDAN)

The thought cloud above my head was filled with a picture of Ryan Gosling until I got to the word “wife.” I have no clue, but if anybody figures this out and knows what town he’s filming in, let me know, so I can drag my ass there, become an official citizen and then get in line.

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Connie Britton Might’ve Been The Mystery Celebrity Who Didn’t Want Her Baby To Wear Diapers

January 22, 2014 / Posted by:

While talking to E! News at the ABC TCAs a few days ago, Connie Britton turned that shit into an episode of Before They Were Stars when she said that Scandal’s Katie Lowes, who was also there, used to be her son’s nanny. After Connie said that, people (including Brandon who sent this in to me) who watched Katie on Jimmy Kimmel Live a few months ago suddenly got the image of Katie holding Connie’s baby over the toilet while making shit chanting grunts to lure the caca out of his butt. It’s a living, I guess. Katie told Jimmy that before she got the job on Scandal, she had a bunch of shitty jobs, but the shittiest job (punned on purpose) she ever had was working as a babysitter for a crazy-brained celebrity who didn’t like her baby wearing diapers. It wasn’t a medical thing. Katie said that cloth diapers were around for emergencies or whatever (Side note: If I was that nanny, it would be ALWAYS be an emergency), but she mostly had to rely on the baby letting her know that it was toilet time by making the face you make every time you watch an episode Keeping Up With The Kartrashians.

At the 1:15 mark below, Katie shits out the story and since she signed her name in blood on a non-disclosure agreement she wouldn’t give up the name of crazy bitch who won’t let her baby’s ass be imprisoned by Pampers.

I know a check is a check and I’ve done grosser and more painful things for less money (see: working as a telemarketer for about 6 hours), but damn. I’ll never know how Katie’s shit-summoning grunts didn’t turn into laughs. She should’ve just put on a Justin Bieber song, turned her head and held her breath. That baby’s butt wouldn’t have stopped barfing. Connie (whose ginger hair I just want to roll around on) might’ve outed herself as a member of The Anti-Diaper League, but I’m still not sure. I don’t know if Connie is the “hold my baby over the toilet and make him shit like a bird” type. Yeah, I’m going to go with Alicia Silverstone. Eat like a bird, shit like a bird.

Here’s Connie and her kid Eyob at LAX a couple of days ago.

Pics: Splash

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

November 6, 2013 / Posted by:

What Real Housewives husband thinks he is getting away with his current affair. He thinks the woman is wrapped around his finger. She has photos and cell phone video and his perfect world is about to come crashing down. This is a huge one. Tabloid covers for weeks. (CDAN)

Teresa Giudice and Juicy Joe from The Real Grifters of New Jersey? I wouldn’t call “probably going to spend a long time making government grilled cheese on a prison cell radiator” as living in a perfect world, but I’ll still guess these two pieces of down river trash. And as his world comes crashing down so will my eyesight, because I know I won’t be able to help myself if the pictures of his greasy orange chimp dick leak.

It’s supposed to a happy day. Especially for a woman. Her weddingday recently was not a happy day. Unfortunately, she made it miserable, for herself and for everyone involved. And you make people miserable on a day that’s about celebration, you can’t really expect them not to talk sh-t about you, right?

She was raging all day. She was pissy about the flowers, she was pissy about the photos. She was so pissed she threatened to fire the florists and the photographers on the spot while they were shooting her in her wedding gown. It was the same with the wedding planner. Soon as she woke up that day, wedding day, she went nuclear on the wedding planner and started rearranging everything by herself. All her vendors were berated, the wedding planner was sobbing. Nothing was right that day. Not even her dress. She only wore it for an hour and then changed.

If you can’t help but be a hideous person on the day that’s supposed to be filled with love and joy… what does every other day look like? Is it too late to reconsider? (Lainey Gossip)

Recently married: Kelly Clarkson, Christina Ricci, Topanga from Boy Meets World, Rose McGowan and Kristen Bell. Kristen Bell and Kelly Clarkson eloped and as much as I’d like to think that Rose used some of her best Jawbreaker lines to curse out bitches at her wedding, I’m going to guess this is Christina Ricci? Or Lainey wrote this blind from the future and she’s talking about Kanye.

This pretty actress already has a couple of children by a couple of different celebrities.

She is almost done with having children. Almost. She has now decided that she wants to have a third child… but not with Daddy 1 or Daddy 2!

That’s right. She has already set her sights on Daddy 3! He is also famous. No big surprise there. They have been quietly seeing each other for a few months now. Daddy 2 (with whom she is in a committed relationship) has no idea. (Blind Gossip)

Almost” = Almost Famous = Kate Hudson? Since she only procreates with rock stars, I’ll guess the sperm her ovaries have their eyes on belongs to……. Chris Martin? Expose this, Vanity Fair!

This former A++ list politician visited a film set in NYC and spent 45 minutes in a trailer with his main squeeze actress friend. Well, not main squeeze. I mean the guy is married. No one even bat an eye that the two were spending time alone in her trailer. It was the second time he has visited the set but the first time the trailer was rocking. (CDAN)

Bill Clinton and Gina Gershon? Or Bill Clinton and pretty much every actress who shot a movie in NYC recently?

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

October 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Two unfaithful wives. The First Wife is still trying to figure out if she wants to be one. She and her husband have been through a lot the last few years, on both sides. It was before the trouble though when she had an affair with a colleague — still above the line, but with a smaller spotlight, both compared to First Wife and his own wife who’s just as famous too, and should be just as acclaimed. The affair was intense, so intense that First Wife wanted to end her marriage and he was going to end his marriage but then her husband needed her in crisis. So she helped him recover, and as soon as he healed, she fell apart. By the time she got it together, her moment with her lover had passed. He happily reconnected with his own wife (though she has no idea) while First Wife is struggling with what would have been.

As for the Second Wife – everyone’s been speculating about her infidelity recently but they might be focusing on the wrong target. The right target isn’t a billionaire but he’s a pretty successful player too, albeit on a smaller screen. Their involvement led to an award for her, and a divorce for him. She was attracted to him because “he’s the hot geeky type like her husband”. Both insist that they never moved past suggestive texting and heavy flirting and never ended up consummating their attraction. Bullshit. There was at least one night and that’s why she’s so freaked out about the takedown that’s been coming to her. She’d be happy if they stayed on the current scene they’re on so long as she doesn’t get busted for this one.

PS. Everyone mentioned here is a major celebrity. (Lainey Gossip)

The First Wife is Catherine Zeta-Jones? Around the time that Michael Douglas lied to us all when he said that he had throat cancer (he really had tongue cancer), CZJ was directed in a movie by Bart Freundlich. Bart Freundlich is married to Julianne Moore. CZJ boning on Bart Freundlich is kind of hard to believe. If you even think about cheating on ginger goddess Julianne Moore, your peen will fall to the ground, slither to a storm drain and find its way to HELL. CZJ’s snatch probably knew that Michael Douglas was going to lie about having throat cancer and put the blame on it, so it got revenge by getting on another dick.

The second wife is Goopy Paltrow? Exhibit: A. The only major award that Goopy has won since marrying Chris Martin is the Emmy she got for Glee. I don’t think of any those hos on Glee are married, so I’m guessing this blind is talking about a producer whose name isn’t Ryan Murphy.

Expose her, Vanity Fair! But try to expose her before December 25th so Christmas can come early!

At some point I think people should just get divorced rather than to resort to what this married B list celebrity/reality show host puts female guests through. If you are a stripper or escort or just a pick up he is hiding from his A+ list celebrity wife you have to sign a five page confidentiality agreement that is in Spanish and English and is in BOLD print and to sign it before you ever get a chance to meet with the celebrity. Their photo is also taken signing the agreement and stapled to it. He could just have sex with his wife too I suppose. (CDAN)

Mario Lopez’s wife isn’t even hanging on to the Z list, so I’ll guess Nick Cannon?

It is hard to believe that this former A list tweener was once this naive but for almost a year she had no idea her boyfriend was also sleeping with a guy. A much older guy. So there was our tweener about to have a procedure to take care of her pregnancy and her boyfriend who got her pregnant was having sex with an old man. Must have been one heck of a Thanksgiving at her house. (CDAN)

Miley and Justin Gaston? Or Ashlee Simpson, Ryan Cabrera and Papa Joe? And now I need to go and pour Clorox in my eye sockets until the images drown out.

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

October 25, 2013 / Posted by:

What young stud recently had a threesome with a mother and her daughter? Hopefully it was enjoyable for all three of them considering he’s been juicing his muscles. Do youthful hormones counteract the supposed dick shrinking effects of steroids? If he doesn’t stop, ironically he might have to start putting his shirt on. Bacne doesn’t look good on Instagram. (Lainey Gossip)

Justin Bieber? Duh. I wouldn’t be surprised if the mother and daughter were Pimp Mama Kris and one of her hos. ILLEGAL! The boiling jizz ceremony from the last episode of American Horror Story: Coven isn’t as dark-sided or disturbing as a threesome involving Justin Bieber and PMK. Get my veil and rosary out of storage, because I need to go to church and be cleansed.

This former A list talk show host who probably wishes she had not got fired so she would still be famous got fired because she snorted lines of coke off her celebrity boss’ desk and bragged about it after. She has been trying to get her old job back but won’t be able to until her old boss moves on. (CDAN)

Whitney Cummings and Chelsea Handler? But Whitney only got fired because Chelsea was pissed she didn’t share. No, I have no idea who this is, but my soul feels like it just inhaled a whole lot of helium from picturing Joy Behar snort a line off the picture of Henry Kissinger that Barbara Walters keeps on her desk.

This actor is getting a divorce. The couple will say that it is due to “irreconcilable differences.” Want to know the real reasons? Of course you do!

There are actually two big reasons for this divorce. We will give you the first: drugs! He has become a total cokehead. He refuses to go to rehab, and she just can’t deal with him anymore. He may be incredibly handsome on the outside, but he is super messed-up on the inside! (Blind Gossip)

Tom Welling? Or Clint Eastwood, because I’m sure Dina Eastwood has caught him snorting Metamucil off of his empty chair’s seat at least once.

This A list mostly movie actor needs to have a hit soon or he is going to drop to B list. Maybe that is why he is going so method for his current role. Anyway our actor was spotted at a club the other night with a guy who is most definitely not his girlfriend. Someone brought out a cell phone to take a photo and our actor went off on the guy and then two others got involved and the guy taking the photo was bombarded by people screaming at him about outing people. No punches were thrown but hey, lots of screaming. A shove perhaps? A finger poke? (CDAN)

Jakey Gyllenhaal?

Honestly this is the best blind I have heard in awhile. OK, so back a few years ago this at the time A+ list celebrity/singer who really was not doing much singing that was successful and spent most of her time just looking pretty and selling things except when people were calling her fat then she just sold things got cheated on. Well, she had cheated in another relationship so I guess this was karma.

What makes this so amazing is that her A list celebrity boyfriend at the time was so ready to end it that he was trying to do as much damage as he could and had sex with this then, and still now, A list country singer who he had a long history with. They had sex in the bedroom of the house he shared with the A+lister. He was not finished doing damage and hired a look-a-like hooker of the A+list celebrity to come over and she wore the celebrity’s lingerie and one of her wigs and the boyfriend filmed himself having sex with her. He then left the DVD on the nightstand with a note to the celebrity that said have a nice life. (CDAN)

Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo and Carrie Underwears? Who knew that Tony, who looks as dumb as a cracked anal bead and as boring as uncooked oatmeal, had it in him.

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Inexplicably, he’s been linked to some really hot, pretty famous women, even though he’s not exactly hot and he behaves, at least artistically, like a douchebag. What’s the attraction? Certainly not his sex moves. This won’t solve the mystery either.

When it’s time to fuck, he doesn’t like doing it at home. Which is weird because, well, he’s really weird about germs and touching. And you’d think his house would be cleaner than a hotel, right? So he and whoever he’s about to do it with are at the hotel. They’re about to do it. Only he won’t take his clothes off. Instead, he’ll always keep his underwear on, looping his dick through the boxer hole so as to minimise as much skin-on-skin contact as possible.

Maybe that’s why it never lasts? (Lainey Gossip)

Some of the known germaphobes of Hollywood are: Howie Mandel, Billy Bob Thornton and Marc Summers.

I don’t thinks it’s Howie Mandel, because Howie Mandel only fucks in a pool full of Purell while two guys in Hazmat suits standby to hose him down. Billy Bob Thornton and St. Angie have probably had blood sex, so he can’t be that much of a germaphobe. And Marc Summers has been married since the beginning of time, so I don’t think it’s him.

I’m going to guess Seth MacFarlane. He kind of fits and he seems like the type who would awkwardly fuck with his clothes on and his dick sticking out of his boxer’s piss pocket like a virgin 9th grader getting it on for the first time in the back of his parent’s car parked in the driveway. But if it’s really that serious and dude can’t take his chonies off to bone, he needs to invest in something called a portable glory hole. He can call John Travolta for a referral.

If there is one thing that publicists never tire of, it’s a staged photo.

Now, we’re not talking about the typical photo of a fake couple on the red carpet, or walking down the street holding hands, or sharing a meal at a public restaurant.

No, the best staged photos aren’t taken in public. The best ones replicate private moments, the ones that you aren’t supposed to see! They are meant to tell a secret story, one where the viewer fantasizes about what happens next.

A good example of this is a photo of a young male star on the floor, entangled with his girlfriend in a loving and “spontaneous” embrace. Of course, everybody has their clothes on, and their faces are cleverly obscured, but the publicists know that you will figure out who this clandestine couple is based on his tattoo… and what comes next based on their position.

Are you buying the hetero image they are trying to give him? Well, you shouldn’t. Because the girl in the photo isn’t the true love of his life. (Blind Gossip)

Harry Styles. Exhibit: EVERYTHING! But if he’s trying to prove he’s straight with this picture, he should’ve probably done a different pose, because it looks like she’s about to peg him missionary-style.

This war between A list mostly movie actresses who are also Academy Award winners has reached epic proportions. #1 won the award but has way less nominations. She is the one who started the fight and has also threatened to expose #2′s infidelities with her leading men. For her part, #2 has threatened to not only expose #1′s infidelities but also release recordings of #1 having sex with a co-star when #1 got too loud and everyone could hear them outside #1′s trailer. (CDAN)

Today, the image of Meryl Streep crouching outside of Julia Roberts‘ trailer door and recording the sex neighs she lets out while screwing her side piece IS taking me higher.

This game show host says he has had more hookers and strippers than Charlie Sheen and now is paying for it. Apparently his engine doesn’t run any longer if you know what I mean. Some kind of infection he picked up and could never shake. It’s not the obvious choice. (CDAN)

The obvious choice would be ALL OF THEM, because all of those game show hosts seem like down low bareback freaks. But I’m going to guess Pat Sajak of Wheel of STDS Fortune?

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 5, 2013 / Posted by:

It’s an opportunity that’s been withheld from some of the most famous women in the world. It’s considered a major honour – to make the cover, THAT cover, a cover her predecessors had achieved and one that was being offered to her just as she was moving forward with the next stage in her career. It was to be a big deal.

The photo shoot happened. Everyone was happy with the pictures.

And then, well, she did her thing. She did her thing, for several minutes she did her thing, and the world gasped and they gasped and now those pictures, they might not be on the cover anymore.

They’ve told her that they are reconsidering her cover but that she’ll still show up in the pages, just not on the front page.

For prestige, this is definitely a setback. But for sales? And notoriety? And general headline-worthiness? There haven’t been any losses. It…just might be a couple of years before they ask her again. (Lainey Gossip)

After Miley Cyrus made HISTORY by rubbing her flattened Whoopee cushion ass against Robin Thicke’s crotch, Anna Wintour put down the goblet of 12-year-old model tears she was sipping from, summoned over one of her flying monkeys and ordered him to fly to Conde Nast and immediately tell the night person that Miley is cut from the cover of Vogue! But whatever! Miley doesn’t need the cover of Vogue. Fuck those hos. Miley will get the cover of a much more prestigious (or as my little cousin says it, “prestigiduss“) magazine like Girls & Corpses or Hustler.

This married lead singer from one of the most popular musical groups of the 90′s who seemed to always have a million songs on Top 40 is transitioning from a man to a woman. His celebrity wife seems to be ok with it, but she isn’t talking about it, so who knows how she feels. Apparently the singer has a camera crew with him documenting everything. (CDAN)

I know Adam Duritz isn’t married to a celebrity, but I wish he was and I wish this was about him, because he would make a stunningly gorgeous lady pineapple.

She’s beautiful on the outside… and ugly on the inside!

This nasty celebrity – who stars on a current TV show – may well be one of the most unlikeable people on the planet. She is so filled with jealousy and rage that the slightest thing can set her off.

Are you prettier than she is? Do you make more money than she does? Are you getting more attention than she is? Well, you’d better duck, because you’re going to get something thrown at you (accusations, lies, objects)!

Her latest television project is suffering because she is so… insufferable. Two of her co-stars are bailing after only one season with her. That’s all they could take. They are both leaving for the same reason: She is just unbearable to be around.

But Nasty won’t let them leave quietly! Nooo! She has to send parting shots after each of them!

Nasty is spreading rumors that Quitter 1 had an affair with one of the producers and that Quitter 2 is being let go after making outrageous salary demands. Neither of these rumors are true, but if you leave this celeb, she won’t let you go without trying to damage your reputation in some way.

By the way, the two departing cast members are both too classy to even respond to Nasty’s slap in the face. (Blind Gossip)

Naomi Campbell. No question mark needed.

This tries to stay closeted A list mostly movie actor was spotted at the US Open trying everything he could to get the phone number of a male tennis player he especially liked. The actor had watched a doubles match the teen foreign born player was in and then tried to talk to the player afterwards. The player stopped to chat, but let it go at that. The actor tried to follow the player into the men’s locker room, but was barred. He wants the guy’s number and was asking other players who did recognize him for the digits. (CDAN)

Kevin Spacey? If it is Kevin Spacey, then it gives me the sads thinking about what a desperate, failure of a twink hunter he is.

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