Justin Bieber Needs You To Pray For Him

Justin Bieber needs your thoughts and prayers, but mostly just your prayers, because what good are thoughts if they’re not #blessed? Justin’s not doing so great lately, despite having recently become a happily married man. On Instagram, Justin posted that he’s been “struggling a lot” and “just feeling super disconnected and weird”, which I think a lot of us just call “M-F and Most Weekends”. But who is Justin Bieber if he’s not having a spiritual crisis? Just an extraordinarily wealthy young dude with an unfortunate haircut, I’m afraid. So for Justin, the only way to weather this storm is through vigorous piety and prayer. And the way you can tell how good you are at it, is by how hard you squeeze your eyes shut.

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