Category: Bless This Mess

Woman Does Karate, Son Gets Naked, And Her Dog Steals Cornbread In Walmart (Not In Florida!)

April 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Sometimes you just want to do some karate chops, get naked wasted and eat some cornbread that your dog stole. Well, apparently to a certain store (WALMART!!), in a certain state (Wisconsin) you are not allowed to just LIVE your best Wisconsin Walmart life. In fact, if you do these things, your ass is getting arrested. At least that’s what happened to 46-year-old Lisa Smith and her 25-year-old son Benny Vann.

Continue reading

Heather Locklear Is Being Sued By The EMT She Allegedly Assaulted During Her June Arrest

November 2, 2018 / Posted by:

You may remember that back in June, Heather Locklear was arrested and eventually sent off to a long-term rehab facility for allegedly assaulting a cop with her firsts of fury, and assaulting an EMT with her feet of fire. She was subsequently charged with interfering with law enforcement and battery. Now TMZ is reporting that Heather is facing a civil suit filed by the EMT who claims Heather kicked, and verbally assaulted her. Here’s the thing, I think Heather may not actually have been on drugs/booze/mentally unstable. I think she was possessed by the devil because screaming “I hope your children die of AIDS” is definitely the new “your mother sucks cocks in hell” for 2018.

Continue reading

Tom Arnold Says Ronan Farrow Has “The Apprentice” Tapes

September 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Previously on… Survivor! Tom Arnold got into a physical altercation on Sunday night at a pre-Emmy party with Mark Burnett, and Mark’s wife Roma Downey claims Tom maimed her, and Tom supposedly ripped Mark’s gold crucifix from his neck, and Survivor host Jeff Probst tried to break it up, and all the while Della Reese was looking down from heaven shaking her head saying, “I ain’t touching this mess“. The fight was over alleged Apprentice tapes of Trump allegedly saying the N-Word. Mark has allegedly been hoarding them to allegedly protect Trump.

Now that the dust has settled, Tom has filed a police report accusing Mark of battery and, according to Deadline, was bragging to everybody who would listen that the tapes had been secured and handed over to Ronan Farrow. It’s only Tuesday.

Continue reading

The Women Of Hollywood Plan A Show Of Solidarity Against Sexual Harassment At The Golden Globes

December 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Remember last year when Brie Larson didn’t clap for alleged sexual harasser Casey Affleck when he won that Oscar? The Oscar Armie Hammer was salty about because he said they did Birth of A Nation director and acquitted alleged rapist Nate Parker wrong? That was slightly awkward, wasn’t it? I mean in a quaint little 2016 kind of way. But I have a feeling things are going to be 2017 sized awkward come awards season in the year of our lord 2018. For starters, E! News is reporting that a bunch of actresses are planning on making a fashion statement at the Golden Globes in January.

Continue reading

T.J. Miller Is Performing At An Interview Near You

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Messy, messy mess face, T.J. Miller has really out messed himself this time. In a recent interview with Vulture, the erstwhile Silicon Valley star pulled out all the stops in his efforts to channel 90’s era Marlon Brando and shock you into believing he’s the love child of Andy Kaufman and Nicolas Cage. If you thought he was “a lotbefore, wait until you get a load of this.

Continue reading

alt="drupal analytics" >