Sometimes you just want to do some karate chops, get naked wasted and eat some cornbread that your dog stole. Well, apparently to a certain store (WALMART!!), in a certain state (Wisconsin) you are not allowed to just LIVE your best Wisconsin Walmart life. In fact, if you do these things, your ass is getting arrested. At least that’s what happened to 46-year-old Lisa Smith and her 25-year-old son Benny Vann.
You may remember that back in June, Heather Locklear was arrested and eventually sent off to a long-term rehab facility for allegedly assaulting a cop with her firsts of fury, and assaulting an EMT with her feet of fire. She was subsequently charged with interfering with law enforcement and battery. Now TMZ is reporting that Heather is facing a civil suit filed by the EMT who claims Heather kicked, and verbally assaulted her. Here’s the thing, I think Heather may not actually have been on drugs/booze/mentally unstable. I think she was possessed by the devil because screaming “I hope your children die of AIDS” is definitely the new “your mother sucks cocks in hell” for 2018.
Previously on… Survivor! Tom Arnold got into a physical altercation on Sunday night at a pre-Emmy party with Mark Burnett, and Mark’s wife Roma Downey claims Tom maimed her, and Tom supposedly ripped Mark’s gold crucifix from his neck, and Survivor host Jeff Probst tried to break it up, and all the while Della Reese was looking down from heaven shaking her head saying, “I ain’t touching this mess“. The fight was over alleged Apprentice tapes of Trump allegedly saying the N-Word. Mark has allegedly been hoarding them to allegedly protect Trump.
Now that the dust has settled, Tom has filed a police report accusing Mark of battery and, according to Deadline, was bragging to everybody who would listen that the tapes had been secured and handed over to Ronan Farrow. It’s only Tuesday.
Remember last year when Brie Larson didn’t clap for alleged sexual harasser Casey Affleck when he won that Oscar? The Oscar Armie Hammer was salty about because he said they did Birth of A Nation director and acquitted alleged rapist Nate Parker wrong? That was slightly awkward, wasn’t it? I mean in a quaint little 2016 kind of way. But I have a feeling things are going to be 2017 sized awkward come awards season in the year of our lord 2018. For starters, E! News is reporting that a bunch of actresses are planning on making a fashion statement at the Golden Globes in January.
You have gotta hand it to Randy Travis, he keeps it 100% legit. He’s a country legend and newly released video of his 2012 DWI arrest proves that he’s the real deal and not one of these namby pamby citified country singers.
Messy, messy mess face, T.J. Miller has really out messed himself this time. In a recent interview with Vulture, the erstwhile Silicon Valley star pulled out all the stops in his efforts to channel 90’s era Marlon Brando and shock you into believing he’s the love child of Andy Kaufman and Nicolas Cage. If you thought he was “a lot” before, wait until you get a load of this.