Category: Blame It On The Ambien
Sean Penn Still Loves His Estranged Wife Leila George And Says She Left Him Because He Was Neglectful
Sean Penn has pulled back the curtain on what it’s like to be married to Sean Penn, and welp, no surprise, it sucks. Sean, 61, was recently interviewed by Hollywood Authentic at his Malibu home where he spoke primarily of the war in Ukraine, the relief work his organization, CORE, has been doing there, and the documentary he’s been making with Vice about his meeting with President Zelensky. Sounding exhausted, the reporter pivoted to ask Sean about his relationship with his estranged wife, just-turned 30-year-old Australian actress Leila George, who filed for divorce after just one year of marriage, though they were together for 5. Turns out Sean knows exactly why Leila decided to bounce. It was Sean’s penchant for Ambien and vodka in the mornings in lieu of coffee. Ambien and vodka at 10:30 a.m. also happens to be the twin pillars of his skincare routine. So that’s 2 mysteries solved!
Roseanne Talked To Dr. Oz About Her Ambien Defense
I thought the bitch was white!
Love,
Roseanne Barr
Roseanne Barr tried it again with her Ambien defense when chatting with charlatan Dr. Oz in a just released a teaser trailer for a full-length interview on The Dr. Oz Show, which sounds like a fun children’s show but is anything but. In case you’ve been living on Mars this past year (btw, so jealous. You got a hookup? I’m looking to buy), Roseanne claimed that she was under the influence of Ambien when she tweeted some racist shit that got her fired from her sitcom. As a “medical” “professional”, Doc Oz is uniquely qualified to determine whether or not Roseanne’s Ambien defense holds water. Big surprise here guys, it does not.
Blame It On The Ambien: The Roseanne Barr Edition
Sanofi-Aventis, the makers of Ambien, really need to update the side effects lingo in all their ads and commercials to read: Side effects may include next-day drowsiness, dizziness, headache, sleep walking, eating or driving while not fully awake, memory loss, confusion, hallucinations, and making racist tweets about former presidential advisers.
After colossal Twitter mess Roseanne Barr twatted up an apology for calling former Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett the baby of the “muslim brotherhood” and “planet of the apes,” she declared that she was leaving Twitter. But as anyone who has followed Roseanne knows, when she says that she’s leaving Twitter, what she really means is that she’s not leaving Twitter and just needs to recharge so she’ll be fully powered to spit out more foolery. Roseanne was back on Twitter a quick second after quitting, and went after the co-stars of her now-dead show for throwing her under the bus, said that she thought Valerie Jarrett is “saudi” and “Jewish,” and said she was on Ambien at the time of her racist tweet. QUICK, Lunesta Moth, now is your time to shine, flutter around and let everyone know that Lunesta doesn’t make people racist.