Category: Blame Ariana Grande Latte
Open Post: Hosted By President Ariana Grande In The Video For “Positions”
Ariana Grande released the first single from her new album which is expected to be out next week, October 30. The song Positions is about pretty much what you’d assume. Yoga. No, obviously it’s about sexy times. A girl telling her man (or persons, we’re gender neutral here) that she could switch up anything at any time, sexual or otherwise. So clearly the music video featured Ariana Grande as the President of the United States. Welcome to: Disney’s Scandal.
Open Post: Hosted By The Dick Cloud On An Ariana Grande T-Shirt
Ariana Grande kicked off her Sweetener tour in Albany, NY this week, and like any pop star world tour, she sells overpriced crap that she knows fans will spend four months of allowance on. But many fans and others aren’t amused by what she’s selling and for how much she’s selling it. They just don’t appreciate a t-shirt that looks like one of the Blue Men fucked it. Continue reading
The Actual Ariana Grande Latte Is Here (Kinda)
I never thought I’d long for the days when shameless pop princess product plugging was limited to Plenty of Fish showing up in every damn music video or Britney Spears spritzing on her own perfume line anytime a camera rolled. Alas, this is 2019, and these chanteuses have to find some way to follow in the self-made (COUGH) footsteps of Kylie Jenner. Probably because she was tired of hearing Michael K call her Ariana Grande Latte, Ariana Grande is now partnering with Starbucks to offer an Ariana Grande La—only kidding. That’d be too easy. She and Starbucks are promoting the new Cloud Macchiato because Ari likes to use the cloud emoji so much. Starbucks, just give me a call when you want to collab on the eggplant macchiato!
So, Mimi Sang Live At The Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting Tonight……
The Unicornie Butterfly Rainbow Princess, Mimi, was supposed to pre-record her performance of “All I Want For Christmas Is You” (aka the song that is going to keep her rich FOREVER) for NBC’s Christmas in Rockefeller Center last night, but some divorce business made her 3 hours late so it didn’t happen. NBC and Mimi decided she should do it live tonight instead and she definitely did it live.
Let me try to say something nice.
Well, Mimi’s contouring was flawless and if she wanted to look exactly like Roxxxy Andrews in the face, she pretty much nailed it. Um, what else? She looks like the Cowardly Lion’s bordello-owning sister and that’s a compliment. Um, the dancing kids seemed into it. Hmmm….That Rockefeller Prometheus statue looked hot as usual. What else? Um, that’s a pretty shade of red Mimi was wearing. And…um…
Oh fuck it, just cancel Christmas.