Kris Jenner, the Shonda Rhimes of reality television (she’s a master when it comes to plotting), is prepping for a battle with Blac Chyna.
Since Chyna and Rob Kardashian aren’t together, it was time to cue the requisite custody battle for their daughter, Dream. Chyna, one of the more prominent visitors from “the world of the pole” (thanks again, Wendy Williams), reportedly doesn’t want dual custody with the E! channel’s version of Eeyore. Speaking of Disney, People says that the prototype for every single one of their villainesses is ready to help her frumpy son get what’s his.
ScarJo and French popcorn dude may be at the beginning of an ugly custody fight. Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are in the middle of an ugly custody fight. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have taken their ugly custody fight behind closed doors. So since 2017 is the year of ugly custody fights, the Kartrashians are trying to get a piece of that “trend.” People says that Blac Chyna is planning to fight Rob Kartrashian for full custody of their 3-month-old daughter Dream Renee. They both obviously really care about the welfare of their child, and by that I mean they care about the welfare of their bank accounts and fame. It seems like no one really cares about the Kartrashians anymore, so Pimp Mama Kris has gotta do something to get back on top of the fame whore ladder. It’s either a messy custody battle, or sacrifice one of their own so that Lucifer can extend their relevancy. “Why is everyone looking at me?” – Scott
Hopefully Blac Chyna wasn’t cozied up too close. There aren’t enough Tide Pods on this earth to remove the makeup stain that would be left after making contact with her face.
Page Six says that Blac Chyna was seen “cozying up” to a guy at a Super Bowl viewing party at a private theater in Los Angeles on Sunday. The guy was not Rob Kardashian. A source claims that they were acting like a couple, and that at one point in the evening, Chyna’s new man had his hand in her lap.
This could mean one of two things. Either Chyna’s still taking a break from Rob, or it was just another scripted moment for the second season of Rob & Chyna. Page Six’s source points to the first one. They claim that Chyna was overheard talking about her relationship with Rob at the party, saying that she’s talking to him, but they’re not living together. That sounds like they’re broken up. The weird thing is that Rob wished Chyna a happy 1-year anniversary just a week ago on Instagram. So who even knows what the hell is happening there. I’m sure if I tune in to E! I’ll eventually find out.
Blac Chyna was also allegedly heard telling people at the party that she was “faded“. There is a chance she wasn’t deliberately cheating. Maybe she was just super drunk and saw a dude with dark hair who smelled like cheeseburgers and she thought it was Rob. And even if that’s not the case, I don’t blame her for her actions. If someone asked me to leave my house to watch four boring hours of football, the first thing I’d do is get faded too.
Of course my first question was: “Was he there being treated for konstant fame whore exposure?” Nope, not yet. Sadly there’s no cure for that. Rob Kardashian was actually in the hospital because he had a health scare after his diabetes started acting up. TMZ says that on Wednesday evening, Rob Kardashian was admitted to the hospital around 9:45 for “medical distress.”
Kris Jenner throws a tacky-ass Christmas party every year, and this year she had a really tough decision when it came to making out the guest list. No, not whether Satan gets a plus-one (he never does – Kris would get too jealous). Kris didn’t know whether to invite her son’s baby mother Blac Chyna. Angela Kardashi-in-her-dreams and Rob Kardashian spent the weekend laying the plot-line groundwork for Rob & Chyna Season 2 on social media, and things got messy. If Kris invited Blac Chyna, she could orchestrate several awkward Chyna-Rob reunion selfies and get tons of attention. If Kris didn’t invite Chyna, it would trigger more drama and she’d get even more attention. Obviously Kris chose Option #2.
This latest clusterfuck of familial breakdown and social media whoring involving sad Rob Kardashian and Blac “Angela Kardashian” Chyna is so complicated, messy and “look at me!” that you sort of just want to close and lock the door on it and just come back later for the bodies. Chyna is claiming that the father of her child, Rob of the Socks, hacked her Instagram account to punish her for taking baby Dream and leaving him. There’s a lot of data to download in this one, and I see you trying to close down your brain’s wifi! If I have to go through this, you do, too!