When Taylor Swift released “Shake It Off” three years ago, I had two very strong reactions. My ears were in pain, and I couldn’t believe the audacity she had to rip off the 3LW 2001 hit “Playas Gon’ Play.” Taylor’s chorus sounded just a little too similar to 3LW’s chorus; the kind of similar that makes you call up a lawyer. And that’s what has happened, three years later, sure, but delayed justice for 3LW is still justice!
A little over a year and a half ago, Jessica Biel opened up a fancy restaurant for wealthy children in Los Angeles called Au Fudge. Things seemed to be going well for Jessica’s little side project until this week. According to The Blast, Jessica and her fellow Au Fudge business partners just received a lawsuit from nine former employees accusing Jessica and Co. of keeping thousands of dollars worth of tips from private events. I get the feeling Jessica screamed something a whole lot less kid friendly than “au fudge” when she saw that lawsuit.
You would think that after earlier this year when Kendall Jenner discovered a sugary sweet beverage will NOT end racism and police brutality, she would sit her little bony ass down somewhere and take the rest of 2017 off. Unfortunately, since bad decisions are inherent in her DNA (thanks, Pimp Mama Kris), she decided to team up with her sister (aka Lil’ Hot Mess) Kylie Jenner to release a line of gaudy, expensive t-shirts that look like something from a Photoshop class for drunken first graders.
One such image featuring The Notorious B.I.G is bound to have both of these tricks taking a break from Instagram as they throw on the fake tears and “We Didn’t Know!”s for a judge in court. Because as of yesterday, Biggie’s estate is ready to kick in the door waving some legal forms to sue both of these broads.
One of the biggest problems with our current society is everyone’s thirst for instant fame. I blame people like Tyra Banks, who decided years ago it would be fun to take regular mu’fuckas, throw them on TV and make them famous during everyone’s favorite smizing hour, America’s Next Top Model.
Well, thankfully, karma has delivered its invoice to Tyra in the form of a lawsuit aimed at the producers of her newest gig, America’s Got Talent.
Two years ago, InTouch Weekly took the volume out of Michelle Duggar’s teased-to-the-ends-of-earth hair when they reported that her rotten potato of a son, Josh Duggar, had been investigated for child molestation when he was a teenager. The names of his five victims were kept from public eyes, but it later came out that some of his victims were his own sisters. Jessa and Jill Duggar (seen above with Jill’s serial killer transient-looking ass husband) later said in a Fox News interview that they were two of Josh’s victims and they have forgiven him. Jessa and Jill may have forgiven that dark-sided, child-touching Porky Pig, but I guess they’re still mad at InTouch Weekly, the City of Springdale, Arkansas and the police, because they’re suing them all for breach of privacy.
In June 2016, The National Enquirer sharted out a story claiming that the real reason for why Richard Simmons has retired from the spotlight is because he’s taking hormones and getting surgeries as a part of his transition into a woman. Richard’s rep denied The National Enquirer’s story at the time, but the Enquirer kept on and burped up more stories about Richard’s so-called transition. Since The National Enquirer refuses to shut their mouth, Richard has shoved a libel complaint between their lips. The Hollywood Reporter says that Richard is suing The National Enquirer, Radar Online and their parent company American Media, Inc. for spreading lies about him. I’m kind of jealous of everyone who works at The National Enquirer, because when Richard Simmons takes over the company after victoriously winning his lawsuit, he’ll change it to The Simmons Enquirer and they’ll get him as a boss.