When Bryan Singer was fired from the Queen biopic, some of us opened up an umbrella and held on to something sturdy while waiting for a downpour of other shoes, sandals, wingtips, espadrilles and combat boots to drop. The other shoe has dropped in the form of a lawsuit by a man who claims when he was 17 years old, Bryan raped him during a party on a yacht. But Kevin Spacey shouldn’t clear out a drawer for Bryan in his room at an Arizona creep rehabilitation facility just yet. Because Bryan claims that the lawsuit is nothing but a shakedown…. breakdown takedown everybody wants into the crowded line. Sorry, I know now is not the time for a Bob Seger song, but that’s what my brain immediately starts singing whenever I see the word “shakedown.” Blame it.
It’s been a minute since Johnny Depp’s messy money troubles with his former management company, and the situation has gotten messier. Johnny is now suing his former lawyers. But wait, it gets better: He’s accusing them of conspiring against him with his former management company with an evil plot to rob him blind.
When Taylor Swift released “Shake It Off” three years ago, I had two very strong reactions. My ears were in pain, and I couldn’t believe the audacity she had to rip off the 3LW 2001 hit “Playas Gon’ Play.” Taylor’s chorus sounded just a little too similar to 3LW’s chorus; the kind of similar that makes you call up a lawyer. And that’s what has happened, three years later, sure, but delayed justice for 3LW is still justice!
A little over a year and a half ago, Jessica Biel opened up a fancy restaurant for wealthy children in Los Angeles called Au Fudge. Things seemed to be going well for Jessica’s little side project until this week. According to The Blast, Jessica and her fellow Au Fudge business partners just received a lawsuit from nine former employees accusing Jessica and Co. of keeping thousands of dollars worth of tips from private events. I get the feeling Jessica screamed something a whole lot less kid friendly than “au fudge” when she saw that lawsuit.
You would think that after earlier this year when Kendall Jenner discovered a sugary sweet beverage will NOT end racism and police brutality, she would sit her little bony ass down somewhere and take the rest of 2017 off. Unfortunately, since bad decisions are inherent in her DNA (thanks, Pimp Mama Kris), she decided to team up with her sister (aka Lil’ Hot Mess) Kylie Jenner to release a line of gaudy, expensive t-shirts that look like something from a Photoshop class for drunken first graders.
One such image featuring The Notorious B.I.G is bound to have both of these tricks taking a break from Instagram as they throw on the fake tears and “We Didn’t Know!”s for a judge in court. Because as of yesterday, Biggie’s estate is ready to kick in the door waving some legal forms to sue both of these broads.
One of the biggest problems with our current society is everyone’s thirst for instant fame. I blame people like Tyra Banks, who decided years ago it would be fun to take regular mu’fuckas, throw them on TV and make them famous during everyone’s favorite smizing hour, America’s Next Top Model.
Well, thankfully, karma has delivered its invoice to Tyra in the form of a lawsuit aimed at the producers of her newest gig, America’s Got Talent.