While many of us feel like a regular Zsa Zsa Gabor when we sip Cupcake Prosecco out of a family heirloom (aka a plastic champagne flute taken from your cousin’s wedding), one percenters like Johnny Depp won’t even open their guzzle holes for a bottle of wine that costs less than $1,000.
Johnny is currently in the middle of a $25 million lawsuit against his ex-business managers for allegedly defrauding his ass out of tens of millions of dollars. Johnny’s ex-money management company, The Management Group, spit back at him with a counter-lawsuit that claims they didn’t fuck away his millions, he did. Page Six says that the lawsuit from TMG claims that Johnny blew through $2 million a month and that includes his monthly wine bill of $30,000. All that fancy wine! Johnny’s piss can probably get a 95-point review from Wine Spectator. If he really needs cash, he can charge for wine tastings on his dick. I mean, it shoots out expensive wine and is probably covered with fromage and a sticky substance that can easily pass for fig jelly.
About a month before a judge slid a manhole cover over the open sewer that was Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s divorce battle, Johnny demanded that Amber fork over $100,000 for his legal fees. I thought it was a little odd that a multi-millionaire like Johnny would act up for a measly $100k. As it turns out, his bank accounts have been a little lighter lately, and he’s blaming it on the decisions made by his former business managers. He’s also gotten the legal system involved, because he wants that money back.
Next to “sanity” and shittily-made cookie dough, Leah Remini has become one of Scientology’s biggest rivals ever since she dropped her E-meter cans for the last time and happily accepted her SP badge for leaving the Cult of L. Ro. Leah is following up her memoir, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, with an A&E docuseries, Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, which starts airing tomorrow.
The extra sharp thorn in Scientology’s puffy ass ring was on Today this morning to promote the docuseries and she talked a little about her lawyer demanding cash from Scientology. Leah’s lawyer recently hit Scientology with a legal letter, demanding $1.5 million for allegedly trying to ruin her reputation and fucking with her emotions, money and docuseries. Scientology tried to kill Leah’s docuseries by farting out threatening letters to A&E’s executives and in those letters, they called her a spoiled has-been diva, which strangely enough, is what those gossipy boys in the Scientology bathhouse call Kirstie Alley. Leah says that she’s probably not going to get any money from Scientology, but it’s not about the coins for her. It’s about fighting for the victims.
Jay Z already has a pretty big pile of lawsuits sitting on his desk in his office at Tidal HQ. There are lawsuits from artists who claim they haven’t been paid by Tidal and a lawsuit that Jay Z was reportedly going to file against Tidal’s former owners. Now Page Six is saying that he’s in possession of a lawsuit from the late Prince’s estate for allegedly doing Prince dirty, business-wise, after his death.
Well, when you’re locked up on murder charges and have gotten bored from re-enacting scenes from The Exorcist with your haunted toilet, one way to pass the time is to go down to the jailhouse library and read Frivolous Ass Lawsuits For Dummies. Suge Knight has already sued Chris Brown and the club 1 Oak for not providing enough security at the 2014 VMAs party where his ass was shot up seven times. TMZ says that shooting has brought out another lawsuit from Suge. Suge has thrown a lawsuit at Dr. Dre for allegedly putting a hit on him.
And I am sure you’ll sue me for ruining your sleep with that still shot of Burke Ramsey doing an impersonation of James Haven.
At the end of CBS’ 2-part, 4-hour investigative series about the murder of 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey, the experts decided that her 9-year-old brother Burke Ramsey is probably the one who killed her. The experts all signed off on the theory that JonBenet stole a piece of pineapple from Burke and he got back at her by hitting her over the head with a heavy flashlight. They believe that John and Patsy Ramsey covered up for their son by making it look like a kidnapper murdered their daughter. Of course, Burke didn’t like being labeled as a possible child murderer and so he threatened to sue CBS. Burke hasn’t sued CBS yet, but he did file a $150 million lawsuit against Dr. Werner Spitz, one of the leading investigators in the special.