Just last week Diva Queen of Glitter Butterflies and Sugar Plum Unicorns, Mariah Carey, put to bed a lawsuit with her former manager Stella Bulochnikov. Looks like Mariah missed the festive rush of legal battles because she is back in one again, but this time around she’s the one doing the suing.
Many who caught CBS’ docu-series The Case Of: JonBenet Ramsey back in September of 2016 probably came to the same conclusions that I did at the end of it:
1) I need to secure all the access points to my home and maybe buy a taser or collapsible baton just in case Burke Ramsey’s in the neighborhood and looking for his bowl of pineapple.
2) Burke Ramsey (could have possibly but we can’t say) killed his little sister, 6-year-old child beauty queen JonBenet.
CBS ended the series by pushing the theory that Burke killed JonBenet and his parents covered it up including writing a fake ransom letter. Burke Ramsey was angry by the show’s conclusion that he might have killed sis for stealing his pineapple at the age of 10. So he sued CBS for $750 million. Well, they’ve settled.
Two years ago, a judge declared that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams ripped off Marvin Gaye when making their date rape anthem “Blurred Lines.” The case is now officially done. And those dudes, who knew they were wrong in the first place, now have to collectively pay Marvin Gaye’s estate five MILLION dollars. And I hope you read that last part in Dr. Evil’s voice because that’s what I heard when I typed it.
Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is getting sued by The Satanic Temple. Are they suing them because we really did not need a remake of another beloved 90s show just with a dark twist? No. They’re suing them for using their copyrighted monument design and also misrepresenting the deity as “something evil”. Satanists suing for suggesting Satan is evil? Hmm… A bit late for that, methinks.
102-year-old Olivia de Havilland is Not The One, as Ryan Murphy has painfully come to find out. Olivia is not giving up her long fight against Ryan for what she claims is his totally bogus impersonation of her in Feud: Bette and Joan. Even though the California Supreme Court decided not to review her case against Ryan last July, Olivia is continuing to Vaseline up her knuckles and is not backing down in her protection of her pristine Hollywood image. Olivia and her legal team are taking her case to The Highest Court Of The Land.
The bleach poured on my fingertips, eyeball holes, brain stem, nerves, basically all of the parts of my body (down low included) is still dripping after writing about SNL covering the Brett Kavanaugh hearings in DC, and before it even has a chance to dry I must now turn our attentions over to the shady dealings of Hollywood. I never thought I’d long for a day where the most exciting headline would be “Chris Pratt And Katherine Schwarzenegger Eat Potato Salad After Church“, but alas we are living in a new day where the cockroaches have no where to run when the lights turn on, so instead of a potentially saccharine headline, we are left instead with “Kevin Spacey Is Being Sued For Allegedly Groping A Massage Therapist“.