Category: Bitch Better Have My Money

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Getting Sued For $3.1 Million Because Of A Ski-And-Run Crash

January 30, 2019 / Posted by:

Patron Saint of Yoga And Menopause, Gwyneth Paltrow, is in trouble with the law again. But not for selling overpriced and under-useful vagina eggs. Goopy found another upper-class way to get in trouble with the law: a skiing accident. Yes, while us peasants are out here getting into car accidents, Queen of the Universe and Eleganza Gwyneth is out here allegedly colliding on the ski slopes.

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Chris Hansen Is Off The Hook For Writing Bad Checks

January 25, 2019 / Posted by:

TMZ is reporting that Chris Hansen of can let out a heavy sigh of relief because he’s no longer in trouble with the law over those checks he tried giving which had the same authenticity and worth as Monopoly money. He’s still out of a home and out of a marriage, but at least he’s not at risk for having awkward chow hall run-ins in prison with criminals he helped catch on To Catch A Predator….

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Chris Hansen Got Arrested For Writing Bad Checks

January 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Looks like noted pedo catcher Chris Hansen is having a little case of The Shoe Being On The Other Foot, but thankfully it’s like halfway on because yes: Chris was arrested. But! It had nothing to do with underage children. Phewf! Instead it was just a classic case of Rich Guy No Longer Has As Much Money As He Used To. Pour one out for Chris Hansen’s bank account.

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Rihanna Is Suing Her Dad For Using Her “Fenty” Trademark

January 15, 2019 / Posted by:

I’m going to assume when Rihanna sang the freelancers anthem Bitch Better Have My Money back in 2016, she never thought she’d be belting out those words to her very own father. However, greed will turn even the closet family members into your archenemy, and in today’s epic battle Rih Rih is suing her messy father Ronald Fenty for misusing the Fenty brand name for his own financial gain.

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The List Of People Owed Money By The Weinstein Company Has Been Revealed

March 21, 2018 / Posted by:

In the wake of The Weinstein Company’s bankruptcy filing, there is a long line of folks who were owed money and are now left holding the bag. Sadly, that bag was only designed to hold ten pounds but is now bursting forth with 200 pounds of Harvey Weinstein‘s kale pesto and artisanal kombucha rehab shits. Deadline reports that the list of creditors owed money by TWC is a real doozy and includes a lot of expected names, like Quentin Tarantino, and more than a few head scratchers, like Malia Obama.

According to Deadline:

Some of the thousands of names on the 394-page list of people owed money by the bankrupt company jump off the page, among them David Bowie, Michael Bay, Malia Obama, Boris Becker, Ryan Coogler, Daniel Radcliffe, Robert De Niro and Darlene Love.

Malia is owed money because she worked as an intern at TWC last year which Deadline says was before the toxic Harvey sludge had oozed its way all the way out onto the streets and into the media. Zoe Brock, one of Harvey’s accusers, is also listed as a creditor and I am so mad for her.

Of course it’s not all famous people and women who Harvey did wrong on the list. There’s also regular businesses on there including “An Office Depot in Cincinnati” which is the name of my loose adaptation of Glengarry Glen Ross and “an exterminator in Brooklyn”. Just think, if that exterminator had been paid properly, maybe Harvey would have been gassed out like the cockroach he is years ago!


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