It’s been 7 months since our ears were terrorized by the sound of douchey bobblehead doll Billy Bush giggling after Donald Trump bragged about grabbing pussies without permission. Since then, Billy Bush has been drying his unemployed tears on the millions of dollars NBC gave him to go the hell away while an unscathed Trump is in the White House and getting his pussy-grabbing hand swatted away by the First Lady.
Right after the tape leaked and killed Billy Bush’s job, he dribbled out an apology, but he’s mostly kept his lips closed about that mess until he talked to The Hollywood Reporter last week. Billy Bush not only looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy, but in this interview, it seems like his publicist shoved their fist up his ass and did the talking for him.
About a month before the election happened, The Washington Post mysteriously got their hands on a copy of a video of Donald Trump bragging about pussy grabbin’ with Billy Bush on a bus during the filming of an Access Hollywood segment. At the time, it seemed like someone wanted to make Trump look even sleazier than he already does. But Page Six says that the intention was to also make Billy Bush look bad.
I swear, Donald Trump better have instructed his lawyers to shred his prenup with Melania Trump, because she once again had to take time out from her busy day of shopping for diamonds and injecting panther sperm into her face (Botox is for poor peasants) to repeat a bunch of pre-written words while defending him in an interview. It’s truly hard out there for a Slovenian trophy wife.
Donald Trump enabler and former head of the Today’s Ladies Auxillary Billy Bush is pretty much over and out at NBC. The only question now is how big of a settlement check he’ll have in the pocket of his Dockers when security officially escorts him out of Peacock HQ. The check will be in addition to the box of personal belongings (stolen office supplies and “the signed” Ryan Lochte headshot he had hanging in his cubicle) that he’ll be sadly carrying.
As expected, Billy Bush has tapped into the ring with NBC and is holding the Peacock down while trying to punch as many dollars out of that bitch as possible. Billy has reportedly been fired by NBC and the two sides are currently negotiating his exit from Today before they make any announcements. And part of that “negotiating” involves using the media to spit at each other. Page Six reports that Billy has hired a high-powered Grossman to help him fight NBC and no the gross man is not Donald Trump. Billy has hired Los Angeles lawyer Marshall Grossman to help him in his battle against NBC. Marshall has already gotten to work and shanked at NBC by saying that if Billy didn’t play along with Trump, he’d be grabbing pussies… at PetCo while working as a part-time cat groomer. Because NBC would’ve fired him.
No need to send me a thank you e-mail for hitting your eyeballs with the sight of Billy Bush’s feets, snow-covered chest fur forest and hairy pits. The sound of that panty pudding wave crashing has already told me that you’re thankful.
Everybody has reported that Billy Bush’s suspension has already been made permanent and that Matt Lauer has reclaimed his title as the Biggest Douche of the Today Show. Billy was removed as co-host of Today’s 3rd hour after that tape of him grossly giggling over Donald Trump bragging about sexual assault came out. Billy is pretty much done at NBC and an announcement is coming, but Page Six says that he’s not going down without trying to punch out the Peacock.