As you may be aware, America’s Royal couple, Beyoncé and Jay-Z are currently out on tour promoting their new music. People would do crazy things to get into that concert; catch a Sugar Daddy, borrow money, attempt credit card fraud. Everyone is dying to go see Blue Ivy‘s mom (and I guess her dad too) perform, including one Zemarcuis Devon Scott, an 18-year-old kid who tried to steal a fucking plane in order to get to the concert. Would you commit a felony for Beyoncé tickets?
The Beyhive is overflowing with activity today because it’s finally here. The Vogue cover we’ve all heard so much about featuring the one and only Beyoncé who had complete creative control of her cover and chose Tyler Mitchell to capture her holiness. Tyler is the first black photographer to shoot the cover for US Vogue in the history of US Vogue. While the headpiece seems a bit reminiscent of the one Rihanna is wearing on her Vogue cover, Beyoncé thankfully kept her eyebrows fully fed.
The whole article reads like Beyoncé jerking herself off for being a cultured, relevant and talented goddess, but she does drop a few interesting pieces of information regarding her life and pregnancy. And you know the people love a pregnant Beyoncé story. Remember when her stomach folded? Classic. Continue reading
Unlike some famous people who will, I don’t know – clomp out of the house in disgusting sweaty plastic heels – Beyoncé is very protective of her image and always has to project Beyoncé-levels of perfect. So it should come as no surprise that Beyoncé reportedly pushed Anna Wintour out of the driver’s seat and fully taken the wheel of her rumored upcoming Vogue cover.
Last week during an appearance on Heidi and Spencer Pratt’s podcast, Amber Rose dropped a two year belated bombshell, claiming she thinks Gwyneth Paltrow is “Becky with the good hair” from Beyoncé’s Lemonade. I would have thought that every moment since Amber dropped Gwyneth’s name has been pure bliss, because just think of all that delicious attention it’s brought her! I clearly don’t know Amber Rose as well as I thought, because she recently admitted that she feels bad now.
There’s been rumors for the past couple of months that Anna Wintour’s time as editor-in-chief of Vogue and artistic director of Condé Nast have an expiriation date. It would make sense to me if Anna’s farewell issue featured herself on the cover. But since an emotionless face, cold eyes, and wig-like hair is really more on brand for Department Store Mannequin Monthly, the star of the September issue is reportedly going to be Beyoncé.
It’s been over two years since the internet and the Beyhive opened up the case into figuring out the identity of the “Becky with the Good Hair” who took a ride on Jay-Z’s untrue dick while he was with Beyonce. The case has pretty much remained unsolved, but many think that Becky’s real name is Rachel Roy while others (read: Rita Ora and Rita Ora only) think it’s Rita Ora. Amber Rose picked up the cold case, dusted it off and after looking into it, she believes she really knows who Becky is. Detective Amber thinks that Jay-Z was knocking yoni eggs out of Goopy Paltrow’s steam tunnel of a cooze. The LAPD better put Detective Amber on an unpaid leave after I file a harassment claim against her for giving me the image of Goopy gooping all over Jay-Z’s dick. I’ve been attacked.