Were you awoken this morning by a chorus of screaming angels, your dwelling shuddering and threatening to splinter apart, and your pets speaking in tongues? Don’t panic. It’s not the end of the world, it’s the long-rumored Beyoncé and Jay-Z collaborative album dropping. Everything Is Love by The Carters (their married named) arrived last night, and you can hear it – naturally – on Jay-Z’s sort of stalled music streaming service Tidal. This is the record that was supposed to save that ego-fest back in ’15!
Back in March, Tiffany Haddish told a story about being at a party, where she watched a drugged-up actress hit on Jay-Z and then try to bite her lord and savior Beyoncé in the face. It didn’t take the internet long to guess it was Sanaa Lathan, who denied she was the biter by calling the rumor “absurd.” Tiffany claimed she couldn’t spill the beans because she was bound by an NDA. The NDA clearly only specified disclosure by way of talking, and not facial gestures. Tiffany has pulled the curtain back, and Beyoncé’s alleged face-biter is none other than who you all thought it was.
A plague of bees is coming, and they may be coming for LeBron James. There’s a man threatening to expose Lebron and Beyoncé as secret lovers. LeBron seems to stay relatively drama free off the court. Well, maybe relatively isn’t the right word to use. His closest relative, mom Gloria James, brings the drama like Steph Curry brings the dribbles? You guys know I’m sports deficient. There was a whole ass parade here in my hometown for The Warriors and I only knew because NPR told me that’s why traffic was jacked up.
It’s that time of year when Beyoncé and Jay-Z are on a joint tour, look at the available seats on StubHub, and realize they better do some kinda stunt shit to cause the Beyhive to bankrupt their piggy banks so Blue Ivy and the twins can buy a private island to use as a sandbox. The I Better Get Lemonade 2 From This Shit tour (jk, it’s called On The Run II) kicked off in Wales on Wednesday, and while it featured the typical batch of carefully curated Haus of Bey family videos, one that appeared to show those two renewed their vows in front of their kids recently had the stadium buzz buzzzzing. Continue reading
When Destiny’s Child put out the video for “Bootylicious” back in 2001, I remember thinking, “There is a distinct lack of booty here. Could they not borrow those giant butt props from Sir Mix-a-Lot?” The booties of Beyoncé and co. were mostly obscured by Tina Knowles’ gaudy costumes, so if you wanted to know what Beyoncé’s butt looked like, you’d just have to imagine. Now anymore, because Beyoncé recently let it all hang out in the tour book for her and Jay-Z’s On The Run II Tour.
The general public have only really been given one formal portrait of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s almost one-year-old twins Rumi and Sir, which means the Beyhive was no doubt hungry for a new one. Thirsty fans were finally rewarded yesterday during Bey and Jay’s first stop on their On The Run II Tour in Cardiff, England. Projected on a giant screen about three minutes into an intro video were the images of Beyoncé and Jay-Z both holding a set of year-old twins. The implication was that the audience was looking at the latest pics of Rumi and Sir. As it turns out, the twins were decoys.